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I WIN! worst parking ticket ever!....New Thread 2.0- add your own AIRPLANE! Quotes!

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Doctor: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain: I can't tell.
Doctor: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Doctor: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain: Well, not for another two hours.
Doctor: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

-=K=-
 
here's my personal favorite:

Ain't no thing!
Check it bleed Bro was ON!
Didn't trip but the folks was freakin' man!
Hey the pilots' was layed to the bones holmes
so blood hammered down and jammed jib.
Sh!t tightened that sucker side the runway
like a motherfa.....Sh!t!
 
Originally posted by: gistech1978
i love when those black guys start "jive talking"

"gimme a slab of the porter" or something to that effect.
Click to expand...
Heh 🙂

Jiveman1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady
got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head!
Subtitle: GOLLY, THAT WHITE FELLOW SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE
OR I WILL PUNCH HIM.
Jiveman2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no
mo' big rap upon you man!
Subtitle: YES, HE IS WRONG FOR DOING THAT.
Jiveman1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get
the same ol' same ol.
Subtitle: I KNEW A MAN IN A SIMILAR PREDICAMENT, AND HE ENDED UP
BEING SORRY.
Jiveman2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got
perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.
Subtitle: DON'T BE NAIVE ARTHUR. EACH OF US FACES A CLEAR MORAL
CHOICE.
Jiveman1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac
lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.
Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY,
WEALTHY AND WISE.
Together: Col' got to be! Yo!
Subtitle: HOW TRUE!
Together: Sheeeeeeet!
Subtitle: GOLLY.


Elaine : Would you gentleman care to order your dinners?
Jiveman1: Bet babe, slide a piece a da porter, drink si' run th'
java.
Subtitle: I WOULD LIKE THE STEAK PLEASE.
Jiveman2: Lookie here, I can dig grease and butter on some
draggin' fruit garden.
Subtitle: I'LL HAVE THE FISH.


Attndnt : Can I get you something?
Jivemn2 : S'mo fo butter layin' to the bone. Jackin' me up.
Tightly.
Attndnt : I'm sorry I don't understand.
Jivemn1 : Cutty say he cant hang.
Woman4 : Oh stewardess, I speak jive. 😀
Attndnt : Ohhhh, good.
Woman4 : He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know
if you can help him.
Attndnt : Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as
soon as I can with some medicine.
Woman : Jus' hang loose blooood. She goonna catch up on the`
rebound a de medcide.
Jivemn2 : What it is big mamma, my mamma didn't raise no dummy, I
dug her rap.
Woman4 : Cut me som' slac' jak! Chump don wan no help, chump
don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains
anyhow.
 
Originally posted by: Drakkon
Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone isht again.
male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone!
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion!
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.
Click to expand...

Airplane....mmmmmmmmmmmmm
 
Originally posted by: Vic
Originally posted by: gistech1978
i love when those black guys start "jive talking"

"gimme a slab of the porter" or something to that effect.
Click to expand...
Heh 🙂

Attndnt : Can I get you something?
Jivemn2 : S'mo fo butter layin' to the bone. Jackin' me up.
Tightly.
Attndnt : I'm sorry I don't understand.
Jivemn1 : Cutty say he cant hang.
Woman4 : Oh stewardess, I speak jive. 😀
Attndnt : Ohhhh, good.
Woman4 : He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know
if you can help him.
Attndnt : Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as
soon as I can with some medicine.
Woman : Jus' hang loose blooood. She goonna catch up on the`
rebound a de medcide.
Jivemn2 : What it is big mamma, my mamma didn't raise no dummy, I
dug her rap.
Woman4 : Cut me som' slac' jak! Chump don wan no help, chump
don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains
anyhow.
Click to expand...

That Woman4 was the Beav's mother, June.

KK
 
Steve McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make out of this?
[Hands him the weather briefing]
Johnny: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...
 
A hospital? what is it?

A large building with doctors and nurses inside. But that's not important right now.
 
Originally posted by: Vic
Originally posted by: KK
That Woman4 was the Beav's mother, June.

KK
Click to expand...
Yes, Barbara Billingsley.
Click to expand...

No, I'm pretty sure Beaver's mother was called June Cleaver. 😉

What was Ward's real name without looking.

KK
 
"Flight two zero niner, clear for vector three two four."


"We have clearance Clarence"


"Roger, Roger what's our vector Victor?"
 
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