I will not be a hovering mother!

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: DVad3r

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
My son is going out this evening, he will take 2 buses and a train ride to his first meeting in an anime/manga lovers club. He'll also most likely stop in Harvard square for a bite to eat.

Not unusual,not rare, except for the fact that my son is 22 and autistic. He's armed with a brand new cell phone, so he can call when he arrives and when he's headed home and enough money for food,club donation and his bus fares.

I will not be a hovering anxious mother.. it's just another social event right?

Maybe I misunderstand Autism, but he must be pretty highly functioning to (even want to) do all that stuff.

I'm sure he'll be fine.

He's really high functioning and the fact that he wants to be social is very impressive.

I worked with a 20 + year old autistic guy one time and we had deep/complex discussions about world war 2 all the time, in fact it barely felt like I was working and more like I was spending time with a buddy.

Because autism is a disorder of speech/communication and social relatedness, it's long been assumed that folks living with autism don't want friends, that they look at people as objects. A neurologist brought me to tears years ago by telling me that my son looked at me much as he would a chair in the living room.

My son does value friendships, is keenly aware of how different he is from normal people and wants very deeply to achieve more inclusion in the so called neurotypical community.
These social experiences he's now enjoying are his 1st experiences with large groups of higher functioning people with autism/asperger's.

I've never heard him as animated and excited as he was last night while describing his evening. He's looking forward to the pizza and games group next.


Btw,while I'm at it, there is a real dearth of programs/supports for autistic adults. I found these social groups after literally days of googling and making phone calls, if a young adult isn't also mentally retarded there's literally almost nothing once that adult turns 22.

I read the whole thread but this post of yours really made me smile...and maybe get a little teary-eyed.

For your son to realize that he is different but still have the yearning to be a part of the bigger picture is just monumental. For him to venture out alone into the big world with a a gleam in his eye and hope for a new tomorrow with friends that have common interests is just epic.

The best thing you've ever done for him was properly equip/coach him for, and allow him to go to his Manga meeting tonight. You're a great Mom. You just watched his wings open for the first time. Feels good to watch him soar, doesn't it? You done good. (sic)

 

[cheezy321]

I agree with Quintox. Good job team, great thread!

This is the type of thread that reminds me everyone on here is a person with their own background and life story. It is very endearing to hear about a mother being worried, reminds me of my own mom!

 

[James Bond]

Great thread

 

[Newbian]

Any anime convention is scary enough alone.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

I read the whole thread but this post of yours really made me smile...and maybe get a little teary-eyed.

For your son to realize that he is different but still have the yearning to be a part of the bigger picture is just monumental. For him to venture out alone into the big world with a a gleam in his eye and hope for a new tomorrow with friends that have common interests is just epic.

The best thing you've ever done for him was properly equip/coach him for, and allow him to go to his Manga meeting tonight. You're a great Mom. You just watched his wings open for the first time. Feels good to watch him soar, doesn't it? You done good. (sic)[/quote]


No matter how old you guys get, you'll always be a young prince to one woman... your mother

The hardest part of this for me is coming to grips with the idea that even if he didn't have autism he'd still face disappointments in life, rejections.. etc. This understanding is also the part that's helping me to push him harder out into the world. When I was 22 I made mistakes, we all do, he will be no different but a life only half lived because of fear isn't a life at all,if I overly shelter him I'll be doing him a serious injustice.

Thus far he doesn't do drugs,drink or smoke, he isn't so eager for friends that he hooks up with people who use him. I have to trust that despite his problems that he's a good person and a moral one and that he will learn thru trial and error about life as we do.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Mo0o
[.

Yeah. It's a tough situation.

Just realized the article was in Salon.com
http://www.salon.com/mwt/featu...09/03/26/bauer_autism/

Interesting read, sounds like her son's case is rarer
[/quote]

It is true that some males with autism are prone to violent/aggressive behaviors.. what is not as well know however is the reasons for this. A fairly high percentage of autistic people also have a seizure disorder.. first becoming apparent in childhood for many and then later in puberty for others. Some are also mentally retarded or developmentally delayed if you will.

Imagine not being able to use speech effectively, imagine yourself basically unable to grasp the unspoken aspects of social communication.. so much of what goes on between people is conveyed in a look in the eye,body posturing etc. Imagine being shunned,laughed at because you don't get it.

Also imagine if you will learning new skills after much effort but being unable to apply those skills to a new situation that isn't exactly the same as the one you learned the skill in. Also imagine being very concerned with following rules and prefering a really rigid daily routine.

When examining an incident that resulted in an outburst of aggression involving an autistic person a combination of the above is invariably always found. Autistic people don't just walk around hitting people because they enjoy it.

My son has normal intellect and doesn't have a seizure disorder that we know of, I thank God for granting at least these 2 small favors.

Matt didn't speak till he was 5 and had aggressive self-harming outbursts till he was 10, for years they told me he was mildly retarded... he has come so far, much farther than the neurologists predicted and he will come still farther. I told him that I expect this year is going to be totally huge for him in terms of personal growth!

 

[lyssword]

what kind of autism exactly? aspergers or some other type? Not all autism spectre people are the same and aspergers people don't necessarily view people as objects.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: lyssword
what kind of autism exactly? aspergers or some other type? Not all autism spectre people are the same and aspergers people don't necessarily view people as objects.

My son has a dx of classic autism and I totally get that people on the spectrum don't view people as objects

 

[kranky]

It was a real treat to read that everything went smoothly. I was sure it would or else you would not have allowed him to go.

Onward to the next level!

 

[Kadarin]

:thumbsup: