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I was just told that I look scrawny and "fake" ?

B

bigchiller

Banned
Girls like muscles, right? That has always been the stereotype, so I decided 8 months ago to get muscles and I thought that maybe with them I'd be able to get my first girlfriend. Some guys work out to get more girls, but I am working out to *A* girl, ya know? I'm trying to go from 0girls/year to something more than that! I would be thrilled with even 1 or .5 girls per year. I'm 24 btw which is pretty damned pathetic..

So there is this girl that I pretty much chat with daily. I met her on craigslist and went on 1 date. She is very friendly, but my gut feeling was that she never liked me as a boyfriend. I always knew this. Usually I can tell whether someone likes me or not, and when in doubt, I assume that they don't. But for some strange reason though, this girl IMs me daily....

During todays daily chat, we were talking about my difficulty dating and why I'm still single. She went on to say that I am scrawny. She told me that I'm naturally scrawny but appear as if I work out to overcompensate for this. But even with working out, I am still scrawny and look somewhat like a wanna-be-tough guy.

I tried to be logical and explained to her that my pre-lifting weight/height has always been 5'11" 175lbs when lean (some ab definition) which corresponds to a BMI of 24.4 which is on the high end of the "normal" range. Keep in mind that was when lean. Usually I was slightly out of shape and between 180-190. I also explained that now I am 185lbs and even leaner than i was at 175 and this corresponds to a BMI of 25.8 which is on the low end of the "overweight" range. IMO there is nothing "scrawny" about these numbers. Also I always weigh myself immediately after I wake up and after using the bathroom, completely nude, and my scale is accurate.


Here is a picture of me at 185lbs. Taken in early January which is ~ 6 full months of working out:

http://img03.picoodle.com/img/...esmallhehm_1d680e2.jpg

Here is a picture of me just before i started In late June/early July 2007. She thinks I'm "definitely" scrawny here:
http://img26.picoodle.com/img/...eforeworkm_6530b66.jpg

Am i scrawny?

edit: updated first pic for more bandwidth
 
We have a separate forum for this sort of stuff.

There are plenty of girls, keep looking. If you want a girl that is just going to date you because of your appearance you will be in for a shock when she takes off for someone better looking.
 
Originally posted by: bigchiller
Girls like muscles, right? That has always been the stereotype, so I decided 8 months ago to get muscles and I thought that maybe with them I'd be able to get my first girlfriend. Some guys work out to get more girls, but I am working out to *A* girl, ya know? I'm trying to go from 0girls/year to something more than that! I would be thrilled with even 1 or .5 girls per year. I'm 24 btw which is pretty damned pathetic..

So there is this girl that I pretty much chat with daily. I met her on craigslist and went on 1 date. She is very friendly, but my gut feeling was that she never liked me as a boyfriend. I always knew this. Usually I can tell whether someone likes me or not, and when in doubt, I assume that they don't. But for some strange reason though, this girl IMs me daily....

During todays daily chat, we were talking about my difficulty dating and why I'm still single. She went on to say that I am scrawny. She told me that I'm naturally scrawny but appear as if I work out to overcompensate for this. But even with working out, I am still scrawny and look somewhat like a wanna-be-tough guy.

I tried to be logical and explained to her that my pre-lifting weight/height has always been 5'11" 175lbs when lean (some ab definition) which corresponds to a BMI of 24.4 which is on the high end of the "normal" range. Keep in mind that was when lean. Usually I was slightly out of shape and between 180-190. I also explained that now I am 185lbs and even leaner than i was at 175 and this corresponds to a BMI of 25.8 which is on the low end of the "overweight" range. IMO there is nothing "scrawny" about these numbers. Also I always weigh myself immediately after I wake up and after using the bathroom, completely nude, and my scale is accurate.


Here is a picture of me at 185lbs:

http://img26.picoodle.com/img/...esmallhehm_6b7eaea.jpg

Am i scrawny?
Click to expand...

More beefy than me. Im 5'11" and 140-145lbs. You look fine to me, but I'm not a female so what do I know...
 
No GF at 24? This has nothing to do with your muscles, sounds more like you should be working on your confidence and verbal skills.
 
Originally posted by: Pale Rider
We have a separate forum for this sort of stuff.

There are plenty of girls, keep looking. If you want a girl that is just going to date you because of your appearance you will be in for a shock when she takes off for someone better looking.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

I have never liked this girl for that specific reason. I got the impression that she was overly superficial from the get go. I want a girl that's going to like me for me and like me long-term.
 
Uh... I think your mustache took over your neck.

edit: I read first muscles as mustache because it is equally "manly", however my statement still stands. Shave your neck. 😉
 
Originally posted by: ZeroIQ
Uh... I think your mustache took over your neck.

edit: I read first muscles as mustache because it is equally "manly", however my statement still stands. Shave your neck. 😉
Click to expand...

lolneckbeard
 
nothing scrawny about these numbers guys. Maybe she thinks i have a scrawny nerd personality which detracts from my intimidation factor?
 
Originally posted by: ZeroIQ
Uh... I think your mustache took over your neck.

edit: I read first muscles as mustache because it is equally "manly", however my statement still stands. Shave your neck. 😉
Click to expand...

have you ever heard of a thing called a shadow?
 
Originally posted by: bigchiller
Originally posted by: Pale Rider
We have a separate forum for this sort of stuff.

There are plenty of girls, keep looking. If you want a girl that is just going to date you because of your appearance you will be in for a shock when she takes off for someone better looking.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

I have never liked this girl for that specific reason. I got the impression that she was overly superficial from the get go. I want a girl that's going to like me for me and like me long-term.
Click to expand...

Why don't you just block her on AIM and move on. Its obvious you're never going to even get pity tail out of this and she sounds like she has a toxic personality. Why waste time communicating with dregs?
 
Originally posted by: PingSpike
Originally posted by: bigchiller
Originally posted by: Pale Rider
We have a separate forum for this sort of stuff.

There are plenty of girls, keep looking. If you want a girl that is just going to date you because of your appearance you will be in for a shock when she takes off for someone better looking.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

I have never liked this girl for that specific reason. I got the impression that she was overly superficial from the get go. I want a girl that's going to like me for me and like me long-term.
Click to expand...

Why don't you just block her on AIM and move on. Its obvious you're never going to even get pity tail out of this and she sounds like she has a toxic personality. Why waste time communicating with dregs?
Click to expand...

Don't worry, I am not a fool and have never really given 2 shits about her and I've certainly never expected "pity tail" from her... I actually didn't even know that existed. I am, however, offended by her labeling me as scrawny when statistically speaking I am far from it.
 
I would bet that you have yet to have a gf at 24 is a result of personality not looks (unless your face looks like it got smashed a few times by a shovel or something).

Question though, have you ever actually TRIED to go after a girl or are you just very passive and wait for one to come to you?
 
sounds like the only thing scrawny is your confidence. you sound unsure of yourself. she might have moved you into the friend zone by now.

if you were more sure of yourself you wouldn't have to ask us, "am i ____ enough?"

just get out there and GET THAT GIRL... NOW, TODAY, NOW!
 
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: ZeroIQ
Uh... I think your mustache took over your neck.

edit: I read first muscles as mustache because it is equally "manly", however my statement still stands. Shave your neck. 😉
Click to expand...

have you ever heard of a thing called a shadow?
Click to expand...

What is this shadow you speak of? Black magic!
 
Originally posted by: bigchiller
Originally posted by: PingSpike
Originally posted by: bigchiller
Originally posted by: Pale Rider
We have a separate forum for this sort of stuff.

There are plenty of girls, keep looking. If you want a girl that is just going to date you because of your appearance you will be in for a shock when she takes off for someone better looking.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

I have never liked this girl for that specific reason. I got the impression that she was overly superficial from the get go. I want a girl that's going to like me for me and like me long-term.
Click to expand...

Why don't you just block her on AIM and move on. Its obvious you're never going to even get pity tail out of this and she sounds like she has a toxic personality. Why waste time communicating with dregs?
Click to expand...

Don't worry, I am not a fool and have never really given 2 shits about her and I've certainly never expected "pity tail" from her... I actually didn't even know that existed. I am, however, offended by her labeling me as scrawny when statistically speaking I am far from it.
Click to expand...

You say you don't give two shits about her, but your offended by what she says about you? Again, the issue is your confidence, not how you look.
 
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: ZeroIQ
Uh... I think your mustache took over your neck.

edit: I read first muscles as mustache because it is equally "manly", however my statement still stands. Shave your neck. 😉
Click to expand...

have you ever heard of a thing called a shadow?
Click to expand...

I wha...? :Q

Yes, I have. That is not a shadow. Maybe a 5 o'clock shadow. But it looks a little too shaped to be the natural growth of facial hair.
 
Originally posted by: ZeroIQ
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: ZeroIQ
Uh... I think your mustache took over your neck.

edit: I read first muscles as mustache because it is equally "manly", however my statement still stands. Shave your neck. 😉
Click to expand...

have you ever heard of a thing called a shadow?
Click to expand...

I wha...? :Q

Yes, I have. That is not a shadow. Maybe a 5 o'clock shadow. But it looks a little too shaped to be the natural growth of facial hair.
Click to expand...

Guys, chill with the facial hair. It's simply me not shaving for 4 or 5 days. The shadow coupled with the neck hair makes it look extra dark.
 
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