I want to leave home...

[spidey07]

You're a (supposed to be) a man now.

act like one and quit leaching.

 

[opticalmace]

Originally posted by: JEDI

Originally posted by: voodoochylde
I appreciate the advice (and the humor 😀 ) and I agree with the statements made. 200 bucks a week simply isn't enough to make it on without someone else helping with the bills.

I'm going nuts right now though. Tonya has gotten to the point where it's almost as if she's issuing an ultimatum. Her mom kicked her out again today and while going off about how nobody loves her, she mentioned that the one person who does love her doesn't care enough to put forth any effort to step up and be a man.

I just don't know what to do or even if I'm wrong/right by staying with my folks...

drop her now. thats not the type of woman you want to be with.

guilt trips, manipulations.

nothing good can come

i agree!

 

[Willoughbyva]

Yeah I think you may want to seek a relationship with some other girl. Put school first. Like someone else mentioned you may want to go to a 4 year school in the end. Once you get school out of the way you have a lot more options. Also remember to be very careful to whom you have a close relationship with. There are not a ton of great women out there that are good for a nice person. Life comes with a lot of ups and downs and it is good to have someone who can take care of themselves. They have the responsibility to take care of their own problems. How old is your girlfriend and does she work?

Good luck to you.

Perry

 

[waggy]

STAY home and continue college. do not move out with the girlfriend or anyone since you can not afford it. It is not worth the hassle, and potential risk to your credit.

If the parents do not care that you are staying (as long as you are going to school and helping out i see no trouble) then stay. college is more important then what the GF thinks.

 

[potato28]

Stay home, drop the girl, and get $$$. Also find another job.

 

[kami333]

Stay home. Especially if you are doing as much as you say.

I wish I could move home and take care of my grandparents, I don't think they have that much longer. But my work situation wouldn't allow it and they wouldn't be happy if I quit.

 

[mchammer]

Originally posted by: opticalmace

Originally posted by: JEDI

Originally posted by: voodoochylde
I appreciate the advice (and the humor 😀 ) and I agree with the statements made. 200 bucks a week simply isn't enough to make it on without someone else helping with the bills.

I'm going nuts right now though. Tonya has gotten to the point where it's almost as if she's issuing an ultimatum. Her mom kicked her out again today and while going off about how nobody loves her, she mentioned that the one person who does love her doesn't care enough to put forth any effort to step up and be a man.

I just don't know what to do or even if I'm wrong/right by staying with my folks...

drop her now. thats not the type of woman you want to be with.

guilt trips, manipulations.

nothing good can come

i agree!

 

[iamwiz82]

We moved out when we were really not ready(~18) and ha no issues acclimating to bills and responsibility. I'd say it matured me more than anything else so far.

 

[KarmaPolice]

I would say get a better Job, and continue taking care of your family. Finish school make more money and when you can move out move but dont move too far away that you cant help your grandparents out.

I sometimes feel like I am in the same situation. I am a mommas boy in the senes that I love my parents very much. A lot of you people seem to be able to tell your parents that your going to do something, and if they get upset, very pissed off, or very sad about it you dont really care and do it anyway. I dont do a lot of things because I care deeply for my parents and hold their view of me very higly. Its not like I let them tell that i cant go outt, but its more about my life changes that I listen to them about.

The other thing is that I am complety and utterly financially dependant on them, and I just turned 22 a few weeks ago. I go to college, and work while at school to help a bit but they pretty much pay for everything, because they want and offer. Is that ok? I mean its not like I could go to college if they werent helping. I could only do it if I was alone and declared independant by the government so I could get a loan.

sorry for sidetracking the thread....

back to subject.

1. Find job
2. Finish school
3. Move out but dont ditch your family
4. cats smell

 

[voodoochylde]

Thanks again for the replies. As far as ditching Tonya, I think we're on the verge of going our own ways. I'm currently just trying to figure out wtf is going on. I could go on about this but it's not YAGT here so...

I dunno...I'm just confused right now. Confused about a lot of things...

 

[thepd7]

Originally posted by: voodoochylde
Thanks again for the replies. As far as ditching Tonya, I think we're on the verge of going our own ways. I'm currently just trying to figure out wtf is going on. I could go on about this but it's not YAGT here so...

I dunno...I'm just confused right now. Confused about a lot of things...

Well it is OT after all. The thing is, a great girl who really loves you will help you and support decisions you make. If she is giving you an ultimatum while before you even graduate about her or your family it should be your family. I would understand if you were older and had the means and wouldn't move out but its a situation thats helping you and your family right now so don't let the tang ruin that.

 

[Reckoner]

Getting a college degree doesn't automatically mean a better job. It's that mentality that makes people disappointed in the end, when their degree doesn't come to fruition (in terms of a career).

 

[Deleted member 4644]

To me, it sounds like you need to consider moving out of your town/state. You need to weigh your commitment to your grandpa and parents with your own life. With all due respect to WVA (and I do not mean to give offense) it is easier to find jobs in other states. However, I don't think you should just abandon your grampa and parents and college, but maybe you need a plan to get away within two years at most..? (Frankly, it is your mom and dad's responsibility to take care of their parents.)

Keep in mind that some states/towns may have better jobs, but they will also require more money for living expenses than you may be accustomed to right now.

Anyways, that's just some stuff to think about.

 

[BoomerD]

Enlist in the military. Many young people do, just as a way to get away from their families. Depending on the branch you choose, and the MOS you end up in, (yeah, NOT always the one you're promised) there can be some good training that will trnaslate into a decent civilian career when your time is up. The Montgomery G.I. bill isn't a bad way to pay for your college either.(hope it's still in effect...the way they've been cutting benefits, you never know)

 

[Nextman916]

All sounded like it was going to crap until you mentioned your upcoming enginnering degree. I would say wait a yr then take off after finding a new job, makes it a whole lot easier.

 

[I Saw OJ]

You really only have two choices.

1. Ditch the girl and finish your degree
2. Ditch the school, keep the girl and get a crappy job with a little better pay.

I would go with number 1 since if you picked number two your life would probably never get much better.

 

[Jeff7]

Well hey, I still live at home, and I'm 24. I too help out around the house, and I'm also good at fixing things, which saves plenty of money, so I'm good to have around.
Self-image problems....aha....yeah, I know about that. I know I can fix things, and I have been responsible - had an on-campus apartment, and I was the one who did NOT leave chips on the floor, or have friends over who'd throw up on the floor, or get drunk every single weekend, or turn the stove into a disaster area after using it, etc etc etc - but the idea of being on my own is just short of outright terrifying. Oddly enough, I'm also a loner, often preferring to be by myself. But I guess the thought of truly going it alone makes me very nervous.
The other part of it is that I really don't have much desire to leave. I really don't have any reason to yet. A girlfriend could eventually change that, but I'm figuring that the chances are better of an asteroid wiping out humanity first.

Interestingly, I'm also going to college for mechanical engineering. I'm figuring on a 4 year degree, and I just finished my first year.


For your situation, I too suggest sticking with school. Struggling to get along on low-paying jobs all your lift is a sucky way to live. Engineers are in demand right now - and hopefully it'll stay that way for a good long time. 🙂
For a job, maybe check out a warehouse if you can get in. They might want someone with experience, but you could possibly get your foot in the door through a temp agency. Warehouse work is a fair amount of grunt work, and the places are rarely climate controlled, with the obvious exception of refrigerated warehouses. However, for unskilled labor, it does pay fairly well. You mentioned the hospital, but didn't detail the nature of it, so I don't know if grunt work would suit you. I didn't think it'd work for me - I'm about 5'9", and 120-125lbs. Not the sort you'd think of when it comes to moving boxes weighing 10-70lbs.🙂
I just looked up Kroger. Looks like a retail type store. What do you do there? Maybe try to get a job in the back room if you can, to gain warehouse-type experience.

Originally posted by: JEDI

Originally posted by: voodoochylde
I appreciate the advice (and the humor 😀 ) and I agree with the statements made. 200 bucks a week simply isn't enough to make it on without someone else helping with the bills.

I'm going nuts right now though. Tonya has gotten to the point where it's almost as if she's issuing an ultimatum. Her mom kicked her out again today and while going off about how nobody loves her, she mentioned that the one person who does love her doesn't care enough to put forth any effort to step up and be a man.

I just don't know what to do or even if I'm wrong/right by staying with my folks...

drop her now. thats not the type of woman you want to be with.

guilt trips, manipulations.

nothing good can come

Agreed. If she can't see the situation you're in right now, or if she does see it and just doesn't like it....it just doesn't sound right. Someone else said that she's trying to use you as a launchpad to get out of her crappy situation. I agree with that too. She sort of wants to get away from her lousy home life, but she probably will never let go completely. You'd have to keep visiting her family, which will likely be a source of stress in the future. If your parents don't like Tonya either that's not especially a good thing either, at least in my opinion. My parents have good relationships with their in-laws. And I guess my sister's had decent taste in boyfriends, because my parents have never been disrespectful towards the few that she's introduced. (I've never had a girlfriend, so I don't have any idea how my parents would act. At this point they'd probably be thrilled with damn near anyone.)