I think my marriage might be in trouble

[casper114]

I think that my marriage is in trouble. We fight more often now then ever. Seems like whenever we see each other for more then the casual 3 or 4 hours after work. Seems like every weekend we're fighting, and it always winds up leading back to the same thing we don't think that the other is considerate and we both blame it on each other in entirety... Always winds up going to something like is this going to work. I really am having trouble trying to decide what the best course of action would be in this situation. We don't have any kids so the question in my mind is always present "should we end it before she gets pregnant or something..." Give me your advice ATOT.

Thanks

-Allan

 

[TallBill]

See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

 

[purbeast0]

talk to your wife about this, not us. communication is key. good luck w/whatever route you all go :beer:

 

[InlineFive]

I'm no expert but if the fights never resolve then the relationship will not get better. What needs to happen is both of you calm down and then discuss what your concerns are a find a medium.

Although I think that you should both go seek help. At least you don't have kids.

 

[casper114]

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: casper114
I think that my marriage is in trouble. We fight more often now then ever. Seems like whenever we see each other for more then the casual 3 or 4 hours after work. Seems like every weekend we're fighting, and it always winds up leading back to the same thing we don't think that the other is considerate and we both blame it on each other in entirety... Always winds up going to something like is this going to work. I really am having trouble trying to decide what the best course of action would be in this situation. We don't have any kids so the question in my mind is always present "should we end it before she gets pregnant or something..." Give me your advice ATOT.

Thanks

-Allan

If you want to save it, seek counselling. If you want to give up and get out, then do so. Just don't keep chewing the same old soup over and over - that's not good for either of you.

 

[imported_Pablo]

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

If you want it to work, go see a marriage counselor, unless you're willing to really open up with each other and figure out what the real issues are.

Trust me. I've been single for 23 years.

 

[J Heartless Slick]

Originally posted by: casper114
I think that my marriage is in trouble. We fight more often now then ever. Seems like whenever we see each other for more then the casual 3 or 4 hours after work. Seems like every weekend we're fighting, and it always winds up leading back to the same thing we don't think that the other is considerate and we both blame it on each other in entirety... Always winds up going to something like is this going to work. I really am having trouble trying to decide what the best course of action would be in this situation. We don't have any kids so the question in my mind is always present "should we end it before she gets pregnant or something..." Give me your advice ATOT.

Thanks

-Allan

Talk and listen to her about what she thinks the issues that are causing you to fight so much.

 

[LeiZaK]

Seek counseling... it may help to open communication lines that have broken down between you and your spouse.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

sounds like you want to throw in the towel too easily.

question: do you love her?

 

[Queasy]

Y'all need to figure out a way to sit down and discuss issues without the discussion leading into a fight. That mostly involves listening and not having confrontational attitudes.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

Find a way to eliminate the financial stress before throwing in the towel on your marriage. Money issues are the #1 stressor in a marriage. You don't have children yet, and if you're both working, there is no reason why you can't live debt-free. Sit down and make a budget that will get you there, work as a team. You'd be surprised how much better you will get along if you're not stressed about money.

 

[totalcommand]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

sounds like you want to throw in the towel too easily.

question: do you love her?

maybe we should be a little less judgemental? you have no idea what his exact situation is.

 

[MagicConch]

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

When you say more binded, what do you mean? That you and your spouse's assets are being consolidated? Do you guys have a pre-nupt or trusts set up before marriage?

 

[shimsham]

if both of you think its all the others fault then you both need to reevaluate wth it is exactly youre expecting.

 

[casper114]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

sounds like you want to throw in the towel too easily.

question: do you love her?

I do love her, but I think that we are finding that our marriage is limiting us from doing things we both want to do... I think her and I both are maybe just getting tired of all the conflict... We both try to compromise and compromise again it just seems to always come back to this... We both feel like we are giving up more and more and it's like a never ending game.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: totalcommand

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

sounds like you want to throw in the towel too easily.

question: do you love her?

maybe we should be a little less judgemental? you have no idea what his exact situation is.

😕

read his first post. he says, "Give me your advice ATOT."

 

[DainBramaged]

Make it work. Communicate. Get counseling.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

sounds like you want to throw in the towel too easily.

question: do you love her?

I do love her, but I think that we are finding that our marriage is limiting us from doing things we both want to do... I think her and I both are maybe just getting tired of all the conflict... We both try to compromise and compromise again it just seems to always come back to this... We both feel like we are giving up more and more and it's like a never ending game.

If you love her it is worth working on your marriage. sit down and have a heart to heart, no arguing, and see what her feelings are.

yes, marriage counseling sounds good for you.

 

[casper114]

Originally posted by: MagicConch

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

When you say more binded, what do you mean? That you and your spouse's assets are being consolidated? Do you guys have a pre-nupt or trusts set up before marriage?

No no prenub... that is very scary to me also.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: MagicConch

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

When you say more binded, what do you mean? That you and your spouse's assets are being consolidated? Do you guys have a pre-nupt or trusts set up before marriage?

No no prenub... that is very scary to me also.

did you come into the marriage with assets larger than hers?

 

[TallBill]

Prenup is horrible. Its creating a legal contract to plan for your divorce before you are even married.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: TallBill
Prenup is horrible. Its creating a legal contract to plan for your divorce before you are even married.

i have to agree.


unless you are some millionaire i suppose.

 

[casper114]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: MagicConch

Originally posted by: casper114

Originally posted by: TallBill
See a marriage counselour. How long have you been married?

We have only been married since May. We have been living together for 2 years though. Another thing that I am battling with is it seems like our financials are becoming more and more binded.... makes me fell like the more time that goes on the harder and harder it gets.

When you say more binded, what do you mean? That you and your spouse's assets are being consolidated? Do you guys have a pre-nupt or trusts set up before marriage?

No no prenub... that is very scary to me also.

did you come into the marriage with assets larger than hers?

LOL, yes. She has debt and I didn't untill I recently bought a house. She couldn't get on the loan becuase her credit is horrible. I also recently bought her a new vehicle also soley in my name. I also spent the majority of my savings on our wedding. I have recently got my first "real" job in IT and I am making more money then I ever have before. I also kind get the feeling..well I guess I know for a fact the only thing that she wants in life to suceed at is being a mother, and I really don't want kids.. now or every for that matter. (another big issue we fight about)

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: casper114
LOL, yes. She has debt and I didn't untill I recently bought a house. She couldn't get on the loan becuase her credit is horrible. I also recently bought her a new vehicle also soley in my name.

Sounds like there's a lot more going on than fights over who's being more inconsiderate. Counselling can help cut thru the superficial issues and get to the bottom of what's going on.