Originally posted by: xaigi
Here are the top 10 things that you should NOT do when you get a new job and get ready to leave:
10) Call a phone-sex line from your boss' line and leave it off the hook. Call your boss' wife and ask her to call his number for a 3-way.
9) Put a metal detector in front of your "office." Whenever your boss asks you to do anything, tell him that he has to pass through security first. Frisk him (liberally) every time.
8) Ask your boss to accompany you to lunch. When you leave the building, hand him a sign that says "will work for food" and let him know that you will be "right back."
7) Upgrade every computer in the office to DOS 4.01
6) Let Goodwill know that your boss is ready to donate his car to charity; don't forget to let them know where to pick it up.
5) Present your boss with an impromptu gift during a meeting. A dong or strapon would do nicely. Don't forget to mention that it represents the effect that he has had on the company.
4) Call the company's creditors and tell them that you are about to go bankrupt. Watch as the repo men cart the desks away.
3) Write your state business office and have the company name changed to something that starts with "Al" and ends with "ida."
2) Steal $170 million and trade countries with this guy:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_2080000/2080962.stm
1) Go to the worst part of town and find the oldest, ugliest, most run down whore in the place. Pay her to get naked and refuse to leave your boss' office in the morning.
You may be tempted to do these things, but you really shouldn't. They are bad.