I think I'm doing life wrong

[Exterous]

Or at least way different than pretty much everyone around me including my friends. I worked really long hours during and after college. We were scraping by for a while so we had to be very frugal, a trait that has continued on until very recently. While I wouldn't say I really missed out on anything big there was an element of deferred gratification when it came to deciding to participate in more expensive social interactions.

Now I've turned those long hours of work into a good job thats low stress with flexible work weeks generally limited to 40hrs. Its also gotten us to the place where I am comfortable enough with our long term financial goals and existing foundation to 'loosen the belt' a bit in terms of our spending.

With the big increase in free time and being more interested in spending money on things like show\game tickets, trips to festivals etc I look around and it seems like everyone else is hitting peak time and\or money crunches from kids, increased bills, long work hours\pressures etc. Even dinners at houses have become somewhat difficult to schedule.

I don't think I would do anything differently but I'm a bit bummed that that my schedule seems off from a lot of other people's

 

[cbrunny]

I'm not sure I understand what your concern is. You worked your balls off when you were younger to get ahead. Then you did it. Now other people that spent themselves into debt when they were younger are working twice as hard as you had to just to get by?

Sounds to me like you're winning.

 

[NikolaeVarius]

It's called "making good decisions". Sadly, it's generally not a popular past time.

 

[edro]

Congratulations. You are better than all your friends and family.

 

[pete6032]

You're not doing it wrong, everyone else is. You're being responsible. 99% of people are not financially responsible.

 

[ultimatebob]

It's called "making good decisions". Sadly, it's generally not a popular past time.

It's not always the person's fault, though. They might have lost a job, or got sick and got in the hole that way.

Hell... You can be the most financially responsible person in the world, and then make the mistake of marrying someone who spends money like a drunken sailor on shore leave when you're not looking.

I guess that choosing who you marry is a decision as well, though.

 

[Rumpltzer]

If OP is hot and female and in the Los Angeles area, then I'll hang with her...

 

[Exterous]

I'm not sure I understand what your concern is.

The concern is more that now that I have more ability to do certain activities with other people it seems others, including many long time friends, do not.

Congratulations. You are better than all your friends and family.

Not exactly what I was going for

 

[cbrunny]

get new friends?

 

[Carson Dyle]

Because there's only one way to do life.

 

[ponyo]

Maybe you'll hit a rough bump in life and rejoin your friends in hardship.

 

[renz20003]

Or at least way different than pretty much everyone around me including my friends. I worked really long hours during and after college. We were scraping by for a while so we had to be very frugal, a trait that has continued on until very recently. While I wouldn't say I really missed out on anything big there was an element of deferred gratification when it came to deciding to participate in more expensive social interactions.

Now I've turned those long hours of work into a good job thats low stress with flexible work weeks generally limited to 40hrs. Its also gotten us to the place where I am comfortable enough with our long term financial goals and existing foundation to 'loosen the belt' a bit in terms of our spending.

With the big increase in free time and being more interested in spending money on things like show\game tickets, trips to festivals etc I look around and it seems like everyone else is hitting peak time and\or money crunches from kids, increased bills, long work hours\pressures etc. Even dinners at houses have become somewhat difficult to schedule.

I don't think I would do anything differently but I'm a bit bummed that that my schedule seems off from a lot of other people's

Don't worry when your wife leaves you for a younger man and takes half your shit you'll be back in debt like the rest of your friends.

 

[highland145]

lol

 

[Exterous]

Don't worry when your wife leaves you for a younger man and takes half your shit you'll be back in debt like the rest of your friends.

Its not necessarily about debt but having the time to do those things as well

 

[Sheep221]

Don't worry when your wife leaves you for a younger man and takes half your shit you'll be back in debt like the rest of your friends.

US laws are pretty bad at handling divorces, everything is rigidly half/half, EU laws are much better in this sense since it's not all cut half by half, what you acquired before marriage is only your own and won't be included in the court and it is also considered in the hearings that if you worked all the time and your wife didn't at all, it is very unlikely she will get the half of property you bought during your marriage.

 

[highland145]

Here, she'd get alimony in addition to half.

 

[edro]

How many kids do you have?

 

[dave_the_nerd]

I know I'm doing life wrong. But you don't see me complaining about it.

 

[renz20003]

Its not necessarily about debt but having the time to do those things as well

You said you have more free time now compared to when you were younger.

I have limited free time also. When I do get it I just want to relax or play a game or something.

 

[edro]

Since we don't have kids we have largely been spared the apparent absurdities that come along with parenting in todays world

aaaand THAT explains it.

You are middle aged, don't have kids, and think you are superior because you have extra money and time.
You also feel the need to boast about it in a thinly veiled brag thread.

 

[zinfamous]

Maybe you'll hit a rough bump in life and rejoin your friends in hardship.

That's the spirit! See, OP, there's always hope that your life will dip into the shitter again.

 

[K1052]

The concern is more that now that I have more ability to do certain activities with other people it seems others, including many long time friends, do not.

Timing is a bitch. Most everyone we know has kids or lit out for the burbs over the last couple of years so time and obligations don't exactly align these days. As a result we're traveling a lot more now.

 

[Exterous]

aaaand THAT explains it.

You are middle aged, don't have kids, and think you are superior because you have extra money and time.
You also feel the need to boast about it in a thinly veiled brag thread.

Great job manufacturing fiction from my post. Have I been successful in terms of my personal goals and am I happy with where my life is? Yes. That doesn't mean I expect other people to conform to my goals and proclaim superiority when they don't live their life the way I would. People are perfectly capable of getting a profound sense of accomplishment and happiness from raising children even if that means they don't have as much free time as I do or means they have to spend money raising children. When and if you choose to have a busy\hectic life doesn't separate into levels of superiority in my book. Also many people derive satisfaction from a fast paced and stressful job and would be just as unhappy in my situation as I would be in theirs.

That's the spirit! See, OP, there's always hope that your life will dip into the shitter again.

There's always a silver lining if you look hard enough

Timing is a bitch. Most everyone we know has kids or lit out for the burbs over the last couple of years so time and obligations don't exactly align these days. As a result we're traveling a lot more now.

Indeed. Close couple friends of ours just moved back to the area. We have traveled together a few times but her job was very hectic and it often didn't line up with mine. She took a more predictable job only a short drive from here so we were already making international travel plans together and trips to the fairly active Michigan brewing and wine areas. Apparently they were here for all of two weeks before she got pregnant. I am very happy for them as I know thats what they want and certainly wouldn't change the choices they made for their lives but I can't help but be a little saddened at the change in our plans. Their telling us that last night was a bit early because one the trips we were going to book soon fell right over her due date

 

[Imp]

I'm not sure I understand what your concern is. You worked your balls off when you were younger to get ahead. Then you did it. Now other people that spent themselves into debt when they were younger are working twice as hard as you had to just to get by?

Sounds to me like you're winning.

He's definitely not winning. OP is not "normal." You gotta be "normal" and rack up 5-6 figures of debt, acquire a big mortgage, and live paycheck to paycheck. That's "normal" living... You're all weirdos.

*Assuming you decided to be "normal" and weren't forced into it because of shit happening.

 

[Skeeedunt]

All my friends are old and don't want to play anymore!

OP, this is a relatively common, though somewhat unfortunate phenomenon. People are too quick to throw in the towel and surrender to the burden of mounting responsibilities.