• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

I think I spread lard on my bagel this morning...

AMCRambler

AMCRambler

Diamond Member
My company has a cafeteria that opens in the mornings for coffee break. This morning I got a whiff of somebody's cinnamon raisin bagel and it smelled so good I figured I'd run up and get one.
I bought the bagel and toasted it in the toaster there while I added the half and half and sugar to my coffee and then went down to the end of the condiments rack there and there were two tubs and both appeared to contain butter. A guy was currently using the knife from the other one, so I spread the "butter" from the other one on my bagel and went on my merry way back to my desk.
I take my first bite of the bagel and the texture of the "butter" isn't quite right and the taste is off. It's too greasy and too salty. I swallowed it and then peeled it apart to inspect what I had. It looked a bit more white than butter should be but other than that it looked alright. I tried another bit and it was starting to make me sick to my stomach a bit so I tried whiping it off. Tried two more bites but I was getting seriously nauseated and had to throw it out.

The consistency was like soft crisco but salted. And it had a weird after taste to it. Did I eat lard? And if so, who the hell would eat that instead of butter? It was awful and did not seem like it would pass through the digestive system too well. It's 2 and a half hours later and I'm still feeling like barf. I hope I don't make that mistake again!
 
You know what's good? Letting bacon grease solidify and saving it, then putting it on bread or toast. There's nothing better than bacon flavored lard.

My grandfather did that every time they had sausage or bacon, which was quite a bit. I remember them saving it in a peanut butter jar. He lived to his mid-80s and didn't die of anything related to heart disease.
 
Originally posted by: KillerCharlie
You know what's good? Letting bacon grease solidify and saving it, then putting it on bread or toast. There's nothing better than bacon flavored lard.

My grandfather did that every time they had sausage or bacon, which was quite a bit. I remember them saving it in a peanut butter jar. He lived to his mid-80s and didn't die of anything related to heart disease.
Click to expand...

He was genetically lucky. For most people that's a recipe for clogged arteries.
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: KillerCharlie
You know what's good? Letting bacon grease solidify and saving it, then putting it on bread or toast. There's nothing better than bacon flavored lard.

My grandfather did that every time they had sausage or bacon, which was quite a bit. I remember them saving it in a peanut butter jar. He lived to his mid-80s and didn't die of anything related to heart disease.
Click to expand...

He was genetically lucky. For most people that's a recipe for clogged arteries.
Click to expand...

I think it was all the hard work he did for a living. He put a lot of the stuff on. I do it occasionally (very occasionally) and you don't have to put much on to get the flavor.
 
Originally posted by: KillerCharlie
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: KillerCharlie
You know what's good? Letting bacon grease solidify and saving it, then putting it on bread or toast. There's nothing better than bacon flavored lard.

My grandfather did that every time they had sausage or bacon, which was quite a bit. I remember them saving it in a peanut butter jar. He lived to his mid-80s and didn't die of anything related to heart disease.
Click to expand...

He was genetically lucky. For most people that's a recipe for clogged arteries.
Click to expand...

I think it was all the hard work he did for a living. He put a lot of the stuff on. I do it occasionally (very occasionally) and you don't have to put much on to get the flavor.
Click to expand...

He didn't eat all the heavily processed, high carb junk that is currently available. There was nothing wrong with his diet, but the exercise didn't hurt either.
 
Originally posted by: AmberClad
Butter on a bagel? Never tried that one before. Cream cheese person myself.
Click to expand...

A toasted cinnamon raisin bagel with butter melted on it is friggin awesome. You have to try it.
 
Originally posted by: AmberClad
Butter on a bagel? Never tried that one before. Cream cheese person myself.
Click to expand...

People on commercials do, then somebody explains how disgusting that is, and then they eat a cream cheese bagel and have an orgasm.
 
Originally posted by: AMCRambler
Originally posted by: AmberClad
Butter on a bagel? Never tried that one before. Cream cheese person myself.
Click to expand...

A toasted cinnamon raisin bagel with butter melted on it is friggin awesome. You have to try it.
Click to expand...

Just had a cinnamon raisin bagel a minute ago, but with cream cheese. Tastes awesome with butter, too, though. I like my bagels with either, depending on my mood or what's available.
 
Why would your cafeteria have a tub of lard just out in the open? Is it common for people to use lard or shortening as a condiment?
 
LOL. if you can't tell the difference between lard, butter, margarine by sight, you need to stick with something 'safe' from the vending machine like Twinkies. You can relax, lard or crisco would never be put out as a topping for breads and, even if it was, lard will not hurt you and is processed by the body exactly the same way butter is.
 
I'm kind of surprised the guy who was using the butter knife at the time didn't react when the OP tried to butter his bagel with lard/mayo/whatever...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top