I think I may have to dump my fiance

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: CadetLee

Originally posted by: spidey07
I guess everybody is not seeing the bigger problem...

She took out 120 bucks out of a JOINT account without talking to him first.

That's a big no-no in my book and IMHO a big red flag of things to come.

She's working 5 hours/week overtime - unless she's making under $10/hr, the $120 she's allegedly sending to family is covered by her overtime. What's the problem?

The OP is pissed because his fiancee is:
1) working overtime
2) using money from said overtime to help her family
3) not using the money from said overtime to help him by paying the car off (incidentally, which name is the car in?)

Or am I missing something?

EXACTLY, not missing anything! + they aren't married yet.

 

[Zee]

Originally posted by: LordMaul
I think you're going to have a hard time finding anyone here that cares. Best bet would be to post it on your LiveJournal, and follow the advice from the most intellectual comment. :thumbsup:

I think that you are incorrect and that the number of posts here shows you should keep your pointless comments to yourself

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: CadetLee
If the OP's fiancee's job paid straight salary, I doubt she'd be working overtime for the money..since there wouldn't be extra.

I worked ~85hrs in a two-week pay period for several months, and I've also taken four classes and worked 30+ hours/week. I prefer straight-up work..

Salary jobs can sometimes ask for overtime, nothing you can do about it. Sorry, completely different.

I did the same thing in school... sorry but different.

woke up at 8:30AM, came back home at 3:30AM (worked night shift 10 hours a night + weekend sometimes). Still totally different. Although stressful, not as monotonous.

**EDIT**
Only worked 4 days a week + overtime though, so had downtime on off days.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: lilcam

Originally posted by: werk
Wait...90 hours every 2 weeks...45 hours a work week. That's not busting your butt!!!

The job she's in it is. So getting up @ 6 every morning and coming home around 9pm isnt? Then what is? I dont think I can do what she does, but then again I'm salary so it's worst.

so she only works 3 days a week? (9pm-6am = 15, 15x3x2 = 90 hours every two weeks).

if you live close enough to the job may be able to get a full 6 hours sleep even.

 

[GiLtY]

Originally posted by: lilcam
She's been busting her butt working like 90+ hours every 2 weeks. I asked why she's killing herself and her answer is that we need money. That is true, but I dont want her working 90+ hours during her pay period! Well, I went to transfer some money into our savings account and noticed she took out $120. I have no problems with her spending money on meaningful things, but for her to pull it and give it to her mom to send to our native country is another thing!

She says she owes it to her grandmother to help pay for certain things. If you ask me, it's ALL BS. I realize we're better off but we have to worry about ourselves before we worry about someone else. She (her grandma) has other ppl to help out, why do they come asking my fiance for money. Mind you we have like $1800 in bills a month and you dont see other ppl offering to help, not that I want them to.

Anyways, I'm tired of this. We could use that extra money to help pay the car off. Mind you winter is around the corner and gas bill is going to be in the mid hundreds, not to mention gas for our car is ridiculous!!!!!!!!!! Belive me, I spoke with her regarding this many times but it doesnt work. I can't say anything since it's her family but she has to draw the line somewhere. Am I the one who's wrong?

I agree with spidey07 that taking the money out of the joint account is a problem. Have you talked to her about setting up her own account for personal stuff, and use the joint account for common spending for the two of you?

--GiLtY

 

She's cheating on you.

 

[GiLtY]

Originally posted by: SampSon
She's cheating on you.

With sampson :Q

--GiLtY

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: slag

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: werk
Wait...90 hours every 2 weeks...45 hours a work week. That's not busting your butt!!!

Hell yeah!

My work week is 10 hours per day/50 hours per week right off the bat. I leave the building for lunch maybe once a week.

Typically, I work 11-12 hours a day and often get called in on the weekends. I am mgmt and on salary; I don't get overtime, incentives, bonus pay or anyting else.

Your GF needs a boot in the ass and smack from the hand of reality. She doesn't know what working hard is yet.

most of us dont live to work. There are many more important things in life than putting in a 45+ hour work week. Its too short to be working all the damn time instead of enjoying life.

What do you do and what are you doing in life and how much do you have put away?

I average about 45 a week...work 15mins from home though so that scales differently.

It's easy to play the kid and blow raspberries at the working folks, but unless you are one of the lucky ones in life working 20 hours a week or less to a 6+ figure paycheck (which many working for that much work more for that much money), you just are ranting.

 

[HonkeyDonk]

lol OP doesn't post anymore in his own thread.

What a troll and an idiot.

 

[Mani]

Originally posted by: cerebusPu

Originally posted by: jjones

Originally posted by: OS
You're going to dump your fiance for working 45 hours a week, and giving her family $120?

You might be doing her a favor, lol.

:beer:

 

[Bryophyte]

Your fiancee should smother you with a pillow.

 

[zendari]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
Your gf is coasting and sticking you in the arse. Dump the broad, she considers her family in bumfvck wherever more important than you.

Your life will not change, and neither will she, after you are married and she rapes you for all you have.

Dump her before the marraige.

 

[markgm]

Drive off a bridge and collect the insurance money?

 

[0roo0roo]

Originally posted by: zendari

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
Your gf is coasting and sticking you in the arse. Dump the broad, she considers her family in bumfvck wherever more important than you.

Your life will not change, and neither will she, after you are married and she rapes you for all you have.

Dump her before the marraige.

yup options are bitterness and divorce

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: lilcam
She's been busting her butt working like 90+ hours every 2 weeks. I asked why she's killing herself and her answer is that we need money. That is true, but I dont want her working 90+ hours during her pay period! Well, I went to transfer some money into our savings account and noticed she took out $120. I have no problems with her spending money on meaningful things, but for her to pull it and give it to her mom to send to our native country is another thing!

She says she owes it to her grandmother to help pay for certain things. If you ask me, it's ALL BS. I realize we're better off but we have to worry about ourselves before we worry about someone else. She (her grandma) has other ppl to help out, why do they come asking my fiance for money. Mind you we have like $1800 in bills a month and you dont see other ppl offering to help, not that I want them to.

Anyways, I'm tired of this. We could use that extra money to help pay the car off. Mind you winter is around the corner and gas bill is going to be in the mid hundreds, not to mention gas for our car is ridiculous!!!!!!!!!! Belive me, I spoke with her regarding this many times but it doesnt work. I can't say anything since it's her family but she has to draw the line somewhere. Am I the one who's wrong?

Let me guess - you are from North America and she's not.

We feel people owe us - they feel they need to earn everything.

90+ hours in two weeks == playtime.

 

[kranky]

Note to OP: you might as well come back and respond to the comments, or for months you're going to hear about this every time you post.

 

[flexy]

she is working quite a bit, and according to you hard, gets up earely in the morning and comes home at 9:00pm...and yoiu BITCH because she uses $120 and does with it whatever.

What (if she, like some OTHER women...cough cough) would instead use the money and buy shoes or clothes ? If you think $120 is such a big deal (and YES i know how it is with bills and car payments - - then maybe YOU have to work more or get a second job or change your car.

Btw...why is "gas for our car ridiculous" ???? Do you have a special car which needs special gas ? I bet you dont pay more for gas that 99,99999999% of other people If not (HINT, HINT, knock on head...) CHANGE THE FVCKING CAR ?!

 

[flexy]

>>>
This does happen in every marriage, but saying that you should leave you fiance because of this is screwed up.
>>>

i think the OP is a control freak This marriage will never work if they money problems right now before they are even married.

And yes, women spend money, and sometimes quite a lot and sometimes on really useles sh!t Welcome in the world of relationships

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: flexy
>>>
This does happen in every marriage, but saying that you should leave you fiance because of this is screwed up.
>>>

i think the OP is a control freak This marriage will never work if they money problems right now before they are even married.

And yes, women spend money, and sometimes quite a lot and sometimes on really useles sh!t Welcome in the world of relationships

A women should have enough respect for her fiance' to discuss using a JOINT ACCOUNT first.

huge red flag here.

 

[thomsbrain]

Originally posted by: lilcam

Originally posted by: werk
Wait...90 hours every 2 weeks...45 hours a work week. That's not busting your butt!!!

The job she's in it is. So getting up @ 6 every morning and coming home around 9pm isnt? Then what is? I dont think I can do what she does, but then again I'm salary so it's worst.

that would be 150 hours every two weeks, not 90. unless she's not working 5 days a week, in which case, what are you complaining about? there are a lot of salery people who work those hours 6 or 7 days a week, and have kids on top of that! at those hours, you're looking at 3 days a week. that's a 4 day weekend every week... this is not busting your butt.

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally posted by: lilcam
She's been busting her butt working like 90+ hours every 2 weeks. I asked why she's killing herself and her answer is that we need money. That is true, but I dont want her working 90+ hours during her pay period! Well, I went to transfer some money into our savings account and noticed she took out $120. I have no problems with her spending money on meaningful things, but for her to pull it and give it to her mom to send to our native country is another thing!

She says she owes it to her grandmother to help pay for certain things. If you ask me, it's ALL BS. I realize we're better off but we have to worry about ourselves before we worry about someone else. She (her grandma) has other ppl to help out, why do they come asking my fiance for money. Mind you we have like $1800 in bills a month and you dont see other ppl offering to help, not that I want them to.

Anyways, I'm tired of this. We could use that extra money to help pay the car off. Mind you winter is around the corner and gas bill is going to be in the mid hundreds, not to mention gas for our car is ridiculous!!!!!!!!!! Belive me, I spoke with her regarding this many times but it doesnt work. I can't say anything since it's her family but she has to draw the line somewhere. Am I the one who's wrong?

You are clearly not ready for marriage.
Spending $120 for her grandma is minor in the grand scheme of things.
Your fiance obviously has a heart and you don't.
It's her grandma for christ sake. Ever hear of family?
As other people stated, 45hrs per week is NOT busting your butt.
It's almost an average work-week these days.
Maybe you should DO HER a FAVOR, and dump her so she can find someone better.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: OVERKILL

Originally posted by: lilcam
She's been busting her butt working like 90+ hours every 2 weeks. I asked why she's killing herself and her answer is that we need money. That is true, but I dont want her working 90+ hours during her pay period! Well, I went to transfer some money into our savings account and noticed she took out $120. I have no problems with her spending money on meaningful things, but for her to pull it and give it to her mom to send to our native country is another thing!

She says she owes it to her grandmother to help pay for certain things. If you ask me, it's ALL BS. I realize we're better off but we have to worry about ourselves before we worry about someone else. She (her grandma) has other ppl to help out, why do they come asking my fiance for money. Mind you we have like $1800 in bills a month and you dont see other ppl offering to help, not that I want them to.

Anyways, I'm tired of this. We could use that extra money to help pay the car off. Mind you winter is around the corner and gas bill is going to be in the mid hundreds, not to mention gas for our car is ridiculous!!!!!!!!!! Belive me, I spoke with her regarding this many times but it doesnt work. I can't say anything since it's her family but she has to draw the line somewhere. Am I the one who's wrong?

You are clearly not ready for marriage.
Spending $120 for her grandma is minor in the grand scheme of things.
Your fiance obviously has a heart and you don't.
It's her grandma for christ sake. Ever hear of family?
As other people stated, 45hrs per week is NOT busting your butt.
It's almost an average work-week these days.
Maybe you should DO HER a FAVOR, and dump her so she can find someone better.

I think you mean "sucker" not "someone better"

What she did and is doing is just wrong. Very, very, very wrong. Doesn't matter if it was for a good cause, she dipped into a joint account without consulting.

very, very, very wrong.

 

[RabidMongoose]

If you need to 'consult' before spending $120, then I think you still have serious problems.

 

[jaedaliu]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: OVERKILL

Originally posted by: lilcam
She's been busting her butt working like 90+ hours every 2 weeks. I asked why she's killing herself and her answer is that we need money. That is true, but I dont want her working 90+ hours during her pay period! Well, I went to transfer some money into our savings account and noticed she took out $120. I have no problems with her spending money on meaningful things, but for her to pull it and give it to her mom to send to our native country is another thing!

She says she owes it to her grandmother to help pay for certain things. If you ask me, it's ALL BS. I realize we're better off but we have to worry about ourselves before we worry about someone else. She (her grandma) has other ppl to help out, why do they come asking my fiance for money. Mind you we have like $1800 in bills a month and you dont see other ppl offering to help, not that I want them to.

Anyways, I'm tired of this. We could use that extra money to help pay the car off. Mind you winter is around the corner and gas bill is going to be in the mid hundreds, not to mention gas for our car is ridiculous!!!!!!!!!! Belive me, I spoke with her regarding this many times but it doesnt work. I can't say anything since it's her family but she has to draw the line somewhere. Am I the one who's wrong?

You are clearly not ready for marriage.
Spending $120 for her grandma is minor in the grand scheme of things.
Your fiance obviously has a heart and you don't.
It's her grandma for christ sake. Ever hear of family?
As other people stated, 45hrs per week is NOT busting your butt.
It's almost an average work-week these days.
Maybe you should DO HER a FAVOR, and dump her so she can find someone better.

I think you mean "sucker" not "someone better"

What she did and is doing is just wrong. Very, very, very wrong. Doesn't matter if it was for a good cause, she dipped into a joint account without consulting.

very, very, very wrong.

you're looking at it wrong. She always spends this money. He's just complaining about it now. It's a given thing that he knows about.

Just like going and buying groceries and putting gas in a car is ok, sending money every month to your grandmother is ok.

 

[jlee]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: OVERKILL

Originally posted by: lilcam
She's been busting her butt working like 90+ hours every 2 weeks. I asked why she's killing herself and her answer is that we need money. That is true, but I dont want her working 90+ hours during her pay period! Well, I went to transfer some money into our savings account and noticed she took out $120. I have no problems with her spending money on meaningful things, but for her to pull it and give it to her mom to send to our native country is another thing!

She says she owes it to her grandmother to help pay for certain things. If you ask me, it's ALL BS. I realize we're better off but we have to worry about ourselves before we worry about someone else. She (her grandma) has other ppl to help out, why do they come asking my fiance for money. Mind you we have like $1800 in bills a month and you dont see other ppl offering to help, not that I want them to.

Anyways, I'm tired of this. We could use that extra money to help pay the car off. Mind you winter is around the corner and gas bill is going to be in the mid hundreds, not to mention gas for our car is ridiculous!!!!!!!!!! Belive me, I spoke with her regarding this many times but it doesnt work. I can't say anything since it's her family but she has to draw the line somewhere. Am I the one who's wrong?

You are clearly not ready for marriage.
Spending $120 for her grandma is minor in the grand scheme of things.
Your fiance obviously has a heart and you don't.
It's her grandma for christ sake. Ever hear of family?
As other people stated, 45hrs per week is NOT busting your butt.
It's almost an average work-week these days.
Maybe you should DO HER a FAVOR, and dump her so she can find someone better.

I think you mean "sucker" not "someone better"

What she did and is doing is just wrong. Very, very, very wrong. Doesn't matter if it was for a good cause, she dipped into a joint account without consulting.

very, very, very wrong.

Whose money was the OP moving into savings, presumably without consulting the fiancee? The street goes two ways - and we only have one side of the story.

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: CadetLee
If the OP's fiancee's job paid straight salary, I doubt she'd be working overtime for the money..since there wouldn't be extra.

I worked ~85hrs in a two-week pay period for several months, and I've also taken four classes and worked 30+ hours/week. I prefer straight-up work..

Salary jobs can sometimes ask for overtime, nothing you can do about it. Sorry, completely different.

I did the same thing in school... sorry but different.

woke up at 8:30AM, came back home at 3:30AM (worked night shift 10 hours a night + weekend sometimes). Still totally different. Although stressful, not as monotonous.

**EDIT**
Only worked 4 days a week + overtime though, so had downtime on off days.

The OP indicates that she has a choice:

She's been busting her butt working like 90+ hours every 2 weeks. I asked why she's killing herself and her answer is that we need money.

Doesn't look "completely different" to me. Thanks for playing - try again?