I think I hate Christmas

Toggle sidebar Toggle sidebar
polarmystery

polarmystery

Diamond Member
Aug 21, 2005
3,888
8
81
Every year, I feel like a total d-bag because people buy me gifts and I can't afford to buy people any. So when they give me something the d-baggyness ensues. They say that it's alright but it doesn't make me feel less crappy. To be honest, I'd rather not get anything. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but I kind of loathe the idea of the whole gift-giving thing on Christmas. Birthdays sure, but not Christmas. Oh well...


/weak rant
 
moshquerade

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,504
12
56
put a little money aside every week for a gift fund? even if you put a dollar aside a week you'd have $52 for Christmas presents.
 
L

Lola

I know many people feel the same way, but I look at it this way:
When I give gifts, I do so, not with the hope/assumption I am going to get something super-awesome in return, but with the joy in the fact that I am able to give gifts to people i love. To me, gift giving is better than recieving. I take much care and time looking for things I hope loved ones will really enjoy. It makes me estatic to see them light up when they open the gift.

I think in your case, showing you are very grateful for the gifts makes all the difference. You may feel rather uncomfortable, but if you show gratitude and thanks, you should feel better.
 
polarmystery

polarmystery

Diamond Member
Aug 21, 2005
3,888
8
81
Originally posted by: Lola
I know many people feel the same way, but I look at it this way:
When I give gifts, I do so, not with the hope/assumption I am going to get something super-awesome in return, but with the joy in the fact that I am able to give gifts to people i love. To me, gift giving is better than recieving. I take much care and time looking for things I hope loved ones will really enjoy. It makes me estatic to see them light up when they open the gift.

I think in your case, showing you are very grateful for the gifts makes all the difference. You may feel rather uncomfortable, but if you show gratitude and thanks, you should feel better.
Click to expand...

I agree with you and I don't. Saying that is something I always do because I'm not an ungrateful bastard, but to my family and friends it's almost like I can feel them saying, "Here's your gift man! Do you have one for me?" Saying just thanks for the gift without returning the favor kind of feels cold...
 
amdhunter

amdhunter

Lifer
May 19, 2003
23,332
249
106
I know the feeling. When I wasn't working I actually got pissed that people insisted on getting me stuff.

Nowadays, I have money, but no one gets me anything and I don't have anyone to give anything to.

So suck it up, and accept the loot...because it's gonna end one day. :)
 
Capt Caveman

Capt Caveman

Lifer
Jan 30, 2005
34,543
651
126
You could always make something. Custom Xmas card and maybe include a small gift card or lottery ticket.

It's the thought and doesn't have to be a lot of money.
 
X

xSauronx

Lifer
Jul 14, 2000
19,582
4
81
i always felt the same way...this year i didnt have *much* money, but i decided in september that when i had a few extra bucks instead of buying myself a little book or lunch or something, id stick it aside. i bought gifts for all of my immediate family. nothing big or special, but something i knew each of them would like.
 
moshquerade

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,504
12
56
Originally posted by: polarmystery
Originally posted by: Lola
I know many people feel the same way, but I look at it this way:
When I give gifts, I do so, not with the hope/assumption I am going to get something super-awesome in return, but with the joy in the fact that I am able to give gifts to people i love. To me, gift giving is better than recieving. I take much care and time looking for things I hope loved ones will really enjoy. It makes me estatic to see them light up when they open the gift.

I think in your case, showing you are very grateful for the gifts makes all the difference. You may feel rather uncomfortable, but if you show gratitude and thanks, you should feel better.
Click to expand...

I agree with you and I don't. Saying that is something I always do because I'm not an ungrateful bastard, but to my family and friends it's almost like I can feel them saying, "Here's your gift man! Do you have one for me?" Saying just thanks for the gift without returning the favor kind of feels cold...
Click to expand...
How do you know they are feeling they need a gift in return from you? Likely they know you are tight on money, right? Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they just like to give you a gift.
 
L

Lola

Originally posted by: polarmystery
Originally posted by: Lola
I know many people feel the same way, but I look at it this way:
When I give gifts, I do so, not with the hope/assumption I am going to get something super-awesome in return, but with the joy in the fact that I am able to give gifts to people i love. To me, gift giving is better than recieving. I take much care and time looking for things I hope loved ones will really enjoy. It makes me estatic to see them light up when they open the gift.

I think in your case, showing you are very grateful for the gifts makes all the difference. You may feel rather uncomfortable, but if you show gratitude and thanks, you should feel better.
Click to expand...

I agree with you and I don't. Saying that is something I always do because I'm not an ungrateful bastard, but to my family and friends it's almost like I can feel them saying, "Here's your gift man! Do you have one for me?" Saying just thanks for the gift without returning the favor kind of feels cold...
Click to expand...

Please don't think I am saying you sounded ungrateful when you posted. I am just saying that if you do express sincere gratitude, you should feel at least a bit better, inside. If you really think they are giving that vibe... yikes. Perhaps next year you should casually bring up to close family members that there should be a price limit on gifts that are exchanged?

For someone to give a gift JUST in the hopes that they expect something in return, that is an entirely different issue.
There are always ways to have something small as gifts such as home made baked goods or services. If you are good at fixing computers or electronics, or are good at photography or home improvements, perhaps you could give christmas cards to loved ones with something stating you are offering your services when they might need them over the next year.
 
TwiceOver

TwiceOver

Lifer
Dec 20, 2002
13,544
44
91
There's far too many gift giving days on the calendar IMO. Christmas should be a time of giving yourself a gift. I propose that rather than giving out shitty gifts and then receiving shitty gifts, everyone should just by one cool thing for themselves.

My family knows not to get me anything. I have a standing "Don't get me crap because I ain't getting you crap" arrangement. With birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, mothers/fathers days, and on and on I think I can skip Christmas every year.
 
Fingolfin269

Fingolfin269

Lifer
Feb 28, 2003
17,948
34
91
The idea of Christmas is not to worry about making sure people you know are given presents... although that is what the retailers want you to think.

Pretty soon we will all feel like d-bags on arbor day once the retailers figure out how to brainwash us into thinking that if you do not buy each of your friends a sapling you will burn in social hell.
 
Baked

Baked

Lifer
Dec 28, 2004
36,052
17
81
Don't give people gifts and they'll stop giving you gifts. If that doesn't work, insult their mother.
 
CRXican

CRXican

Diamond Member
Jun 9, 2004
9,062
1
0
Originally posted by: TwiceOver
There's far too many gift giving days on the calendar IMO. Christmas should be a time of giving yourself a gift. I propose that rather than giving out shitty gifts and then receiving shitty gifts, everyone should just by one cool thing for themselves.

My family knows not to get me anything. I have a standing "Don't get me crap because I ain't getting you crap" arrangement. With birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, mothers/fathers days, and on and on I think I can skip Christmas every year.
Click to expand...

Pretty much my thoughts exactly.

Most of the major holidays have become too corporate and focused on buying "stuff"

Every year I get the "What do you want for Christmas?" question. I always say nothing unless there is something I REALLY need, if I wanted something I didn't need I would have already gotten it for myself.

 
M

Madwand1

Diamond Member
Jan 23, 2006
3,309
0
76
Originally posted by: polarmystery
Every year, I feel like a total d-bag because people buy me gifts and I can't afford to buy people any. So when they give me something the d-baggyness ensues. They say that it's alright but it doesn't make me feel less crappy. To be honest, I'd rather not get anything. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but I kind of loathe the idea of the whole gift-giving thing on Christmas.
Click to expand...

From what I see, the root of the problem is that you can't afford to buy gifts -- you'd feel entirely different if you had the money to buy the gifts. The fact that you're getting and not able to reciprocate makes that more evident, and so you feel bad about it and think that the gifts are the problem. I think I know how you feel, but not getting gifts isn't really going to solve the problem. I'd think that in part at least, you're receiving gifts exactly because people feel that you can use them -- what better reason is there for giving gifts? A chance to give someone something who can't afford it otherwise is much better than giving something to someone who can afford everything.

If you see some sort of expectation on the part of the gift-giver, translate that to an expectation of happiness and gratitude. I'd be sad to see someone I gave a gift to feel bad that they couldn't reciprocate, but thereafter, I'd sympathize, and not resent, and the only expectation I'd attach to the gift would be for a "thank you".

BTW, you're also allowed to re-gift.

Cheers.
 
SMOGZINN

SMOGZINN

Lifer
Jun 17, 2005
14,359
4,640
136
Originally posted by: Lola
When I give gifts, I do so, not with the hope/assumption I am going to get something super-awesome in return, but with the joy in the fact that I am able to give gifts to people i love.
Click to expand...

This and

You could always make something. Custom Xmas card and maybe include a small gift card or lottery ticket. It's the thought and doesn't have to be a lot of money.
Click to expand...

This

You have skills, use them.
Rake leaves.
Write a letter.
Bake cookies.
Pickle okra.
What ever you do, it comes from you, and that is what counts.
Despite what mass media wants you to think, Christmas is not about buying stuff.
There is a whole other meaning, and it has something to do with love.



 
D

DisgruntledVirus

Lifer
Dec 26, 2007
11,782
2
76
Originally posted by: TallBill
I don't like getting or giving gifts either, and I can afford them.
Click to expand...

This.

I buy gifts for my SO, but that's not different from the rest of the year. I just happen to buy more expensive and quantity of them. I didn't want anything from anybody, because I am a very picky person. Instead of getting something that is similar to what I wanted, but not it I would rather just buy myself gifts.

If people refuse to just not get me anything, then I just tell them money. I will buy what I want with it. Yeah it's anti-xmas spirit and all that shit, but really I would rather not feel bad because somebody spent more on me then I did on them.

For example, my gf's family insists on getting me stuff. I don't want them to (hell I told the gf not to as well, but didn't think that would happen), because I am not part of their family. I will go celibrate xmas with them, but I don't want gifts. Call me the grinch, but I would rather them use money for themself (or use it to pay off some debt if they have it).

 
S

SsupernovaE

Golden Member
Dec 12, 2006
1,128
0
76
I totally understand how you feel. I live on a fixed income and usually cannot afford to give anything unless I plan for it months in advance. This year I did plan and am able to give my immediate family a little bit. Most are practical gifts that I know they will use. Even if I cannot give anything, they appreciate me anyway because I express my gratitude whenever I receive anything. If they really expect anything in return, fuck em.

Ironically, many people I know are not going to be able to give many, if any, gifts this year because they were living like there was no recession and now find themselves in a hole.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

COMPANY
RESOURCES
FOLLOW
Top Bottom