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I need to tell my dad to stop working

G

Goosemaster

Lifer
poor bastard.

if he stays at home he gets severely depressed.
if he takes every meaningless job out there he ends up losing money, and since I am footing the bill it costs me more money.

He car is a POS that used to get 5mpg and now is probably getting a little more.
He is delivering restaurant food and making like $20 day, if it is a good day. Most days he ends up costing me $20, not including food

I am about to move so I can't let him stay at my place any more. He is staying with 'friends' but is on thin ice.

My cable bill is overdue🙁

Did I mention I got laid off about a week ago?

Did I mention that I spent my last remaining cash on a summer course so I am living on CC's until my unemployment kicks in next week?


sigh...

anyone have anything kind or offensive to contribute?
 
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
He car is a POS that used to get 5mph and now is probably getting a little more.
Click to expand...
damn. what the hell is he driving? The Flintstones mobile?

Did I mention I got laid about a week ago?
Click to expand...
leave it up to the whistle blower to rant about the only good thing in his life.

 
Originally posted by: Aharami
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
He car is a POS that used to get 5mph and now is probably getting a little more.
Click to expand...
damn. what the hell is he driving? The Flintstones mobile?

Did I mention I got laid about a week ago?
Click to expand...
leave it up to the whistle blower to rant about the only good thing in his life.
Click to expand...

EPIC fail on my part... urgh...

his car gets 5MPG and I got laid OFF.

fvk this is a depressing correction
 
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Originally posted by: Aharami
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
He car is a POS that used to get 5mph and now is probably getting a little more.
Click to expand...
damn. what the hell is he driving? The Flintstones mobile?

Did I mention I got laid about a week ago?
Click to expand...
leave it up to the whistle blower to rant about the only good thing in his life.
Click to expand...

EPIC fail on my part... urgh...

his car gets 5MPG and I got laid OFF.

fvk this is a depressing correction
Click to expand...

Tell your dad to sell his car and get a bike.

Bus pass might help too.
 
Have an honest talk with your father. Tell him you are concerned about your finances and go over income/expenses between the two of you. Be support and constructive, but firm. Let him know that the situation needs to change.
 
Treat him like a friend. What would you do for a friend in this situation? You wouldn't help him out and keep him hovering in a crappy state. You would let him fall into rock bottom. That's the only way he's gonna shape up.
 
Originally posted by: Chronoshock
Have an honest talk with your father. Tell him you are concerned about your finances and go over income/expenses between the two of you. Be support and constructive, but firm. Let him know that the situation needs to change.
Click to expand...

I have already and he just seems too far gone. He is always nervous and depressed.
I have done line by line itemizing to no avail. Hell I had a lot of prepared food for him here but he was being a dick and wouldn't eat it either out of shame or lethargy(?!)


I have been both incredibly compassionate with him and beyond firm with him as well but when he calls me at night to say he hasn't eaten all day I feel so bad for him. He was staying here awhile but then just left.

sigh...

 
Originally posted by: Ronstang
So his life here is now worse than when he illegally crossed the US/Mexican border to exploit this country?
Click to expand...

haha. go fuck yourself. the only reason he came here was cause the rest of the world fucked up his neighborhood.
 
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Originally posted by: Ronstang
So his life here is now worse than when he illegally crossed the US/Mexican border to exploit this country?
Click to expand...

haha. go fuck yourself. the only reason he came here was cause the US fucked up his neighborhood.
Click to expand...

You asked for something offensive. But really, you need to talk to your father and set him straight about the situation. It sounds like his pride to work and earn for himself is making him make bad financial decisions for both of you.
 
Originally posted by: Ronstang
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Originally posted by: Ronstang
So his life here is now worse than when he illegally crossed the US/Mexican border to exploit this country?
Click to expand...

haha. go fuck yourself. the only reason he came here was cause the US fucked up his neighborhood.
Click to expand...

You asked for something offensive. But really, you need to talk to your father and set him straight about the situation. It sounds like his pride to work and earn for himself is making him make bad financial decisions for both of you.
Click to expand...

most definitely. he is by all means a scratched record so the regular advice I am giving him isn't having an effect. Sometimes he comes off as the most arrogant prick in the world and most of the time he is just... I am not sure what to do.

I don't know what to do...🙁
 

I feel have done more than I should be doing, and many times not enough, but he isn't learning and I just bring myself to let him go hungry.

Let me know if anyone has any intervention-type ideas. I have to get up early for stuff / class. later
 
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Originally posted by: Chronoshock
Have an honest talk with your father. Tell him you are concerned about your finances and go over income/expenses between the two of you. Be support and constructive, but firm. Let him know that the situation needs to change.
Click to expand...

I have already and he just seems too far gone. He is always nervous and depressed.
I have done line by line itemizing to no avail. Hell I had a lot of prepared food for him here but he was being a dick and wouldn't eat it either out of shame or lethargy(?!)


I have been both incredibly compassionate with him and beyond firm with him as well but when he calls me at night to say he hasn't eaten all day I feel so bad for him. He was staying here awhile but then just left.

sigh...
Click to expand...

It sounds like you've made an effort, and explored the non-drastic means available to you. I think it might be a good idea to get a third party involved. Let your dad know that you're concerned and that you want him to get help.
Judging from your last bit about him calling about not eating, it shows that he needs help and compassion. Even though you're his son, I don't think you're in a good position to offer that right now. You need to get your own affairs straightened out before you can think about having someone rely on you like this.
I get the feeling you know this too, you know that you need to distance yourself from him, but you need to do so without abandoning him or betraying his trust.
Are there any other family members your father can talk to or friends of his nearby?
 
sorry to hear that man.
but i'm wondering why you're still paying for cable when you're now unemployed. isnt that a luxury that you can cut out?
 
Originally posted by: Chronoshock
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Originally posted by: Chronoshock
Have an honest talk with your father. Tell him you are concerned about your finances and go over income/expenses between the two of you. Be support and constructive, but firm. Let him know that the situation needs to change.
Click to expand...

I have already and he just seems too far gone. He is always nervous and depressed.
I have done line by line itemizing to no avail. Hell I had a lot of prepared food for him here but he was being a dick and wouldn't eat it either out of shame or lethargy(?!)


I have been both incredibly compassionate with him and beyond firm with him as well but when he calls me at night to say he hasn't eaten all day I feel so bad for him. He was staying here awhile but then just left.

sigh...
Click to expand...

Are there any other family members your father can talk to or friends of his nearby?
Click to expand...

he's made enemies of them all. they aren't exactly the picture of perfection either btw.

sigh... I seriously know of no one that can help me. hell, even my mom (his ex) has tried with no success.
 
Originally posted by: puffff
sorry to hear that man.
but i'm wondering why you're still paying for cable when you're now unemployed. isnt that a luxury that you can cut out?
Click to expand...

I got billed for my last month here.
 
whistleblower laws prevent retaliatory firings in those scenarios. contact a lawyer. if you kept great documentation you could be looking at millions.

however i think i already know the answer to that.
 
Originally posted by: paulney
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Originally posted by: paulney
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Did I mention I got laid off about a week ago?
Click to expand...

I suppose blowing the whistle wasn't worth it after all?
Click to expand...

I stand by what I did.
Click to expand...

There's only one option left: sue your employer for millions.
Click to expand...

nah. The incidents do not seem to be related.

We left on good terms and I have references etc.
 
Originally posted by: Legendary
whistleblower laws prevent retaliatory firings in those scenarios. contact a lawyer. if you kept great documentation you could be looking at millions.

however i think i already know the answer to that.
Click to expand...

as a team, we worked to fix the issues that I brought to their attention.
not the EXACT result I was expecting but a satisfactory one.

if I ever brought anything to their attention it was so we could fix it, and we did.
 
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Originally posted by: Chronoshock
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Originally posted by: Chronoshock
Have an honest talk with your father. Tell him you are concerned about your finances and go over income/expenses between the two of you. Be support and constructive, but firm. Let him know that the situation needs to change.
Click to expand...

I have already and he just seems too far gone. He is always nervous and depressed.
I have done line by line itemizing to no avail. Hell I had a lot of prepared food for him here but he was being a dick and wouldn't eat it either out of shame or lethargy(?!)


I have been both incredibly compassionate with him and beyond firm with him as well but when he calls me at night to say he hasn't eaten all day I feel so bad for him. He was staying here awhile but then just left.

sigh...
Click to expand...

Are there any other family members your father can talk to or friends of his nearby?
Click to expand...

he's made enemies of them all. they aren't exactly the picture of perfection either btw.

sigh... I seriously know of no one that can help me. hell, even my mom (his ex) has tried with no success.
Click to expand...

I would look into finding a social worker or counselor who can help you out then. There should be a government social worker agency (http://www.dhp.state.va.us/social/ maybe? the site navigation sucks) that you can contact for help
 
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