I am friends with an otherwise wonderful woman. She is a widow, having lost her husband early last year to drowning, he was drunk at the time. Two great kids as well. Trouble is she and her friends drink. By drink I mean vodka/orangejuice/gingerale, white russians, and similar EVERY day. Sometimes the first drink is at 5pm, or earlier at 3pm, or later, doesn't matter.
Its long, perhaps I am overly melodramatic - whatever. I'm 40, shes 44. My sister found out through the grapevine and advised me to dump her. Then two others joined in as well to tell me to get out.
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I have hit my third strike.
The first one was when her children had guests over and she got quite tipsy, 3 vodka/juice (screwdriver/greyhounds etc) using a small 8oz glass. There was a white russian in there too, 12-16oz glass (I had one). Anyway, I could not believe any mom would first drink that much in front of her own kids let alone do so while she had two staying the night.
The second event was when she knew she could take her son somewhere after she had downed a few so I took him. Well she needed to come along to show me where. She brought her dog AND her drink (in a 12oz styrofoam cup).
Third, over her place. Just spending time with her and the kids. A guest child is there and that child's father comes over to pick her up. Well he is good at chess so she wants to play a game. She offers him a drink (greyhound). She had already had 2 herself. I ended up playing a game as well at her insistence. I just could not believe she offered the drink (and that he drank it tells me more about this circle of friends) when she knew he was here to pick up his little girl (9) to take her home (he is married with two kids). Come to find out he owns the house where her husband drowned. Seems the whole cirlce of friends is into this level of "social" drinking. A little while later as I was leaving she had to go to the liquour store before they closed.
So, whats the best way of breaking off in this situation? What do I say? I figure on telling her I can't relate easily simply because I don't truly know who is real. After happy hour starts I cannot trust what she says and does so how do I place her? I love the kids, they are great (and they have even complained in front of her while I was there about the drink) but I cannot handle the alcohol at this level or circle of friends. Considering alcohol contributed to her husband's death I am even more shocked at the level she can drink.
Anyone been in a similar situation? Advice? Do I follow the advice of my sister and two other women or do I try to find a way to get her off the alcohol.
Its long, perhaps I am overly melodramatic - whatever. I'm 40, shes 44. My sister found out through the grapevine and advised me to dump her. Then two others joined in as well to tell me to get out.
---
I have hit my third strike.
The first one was when her children had guests over and she got quite tipsy, 3 vodka/juice (screwdriver/greyhounds etc) using a small 8oz glass. There was a white russian in there too, 12-16oz glass (I had one). Anyway, I could not believe any mom would first drink that much in front of her own kids let alone do so while she had two staying the night.
The second event was when she knew she could take her son somewhere after she had downed a few so I took him. Well she needed to come along to show me where. She brought her dog AND her drink (in a 12oz styrofoam cup).
Third, over her place. Just spending time with her and the kids. A guest child is there and that child's father comes over to pick her up. Well he is good at chess so she wants to play a game. She offers him a drink (greyhound). She had already had 2 herself. I ended up playing a game as well at her insistence. I just could not believe she offered the drink (and that he drank it tells me more about this circle of friends) when she knew he was here to pick up his little girl (9) to take her home (he is married with two kids). Come to find out he owns the house where her husband drowned. Seems the whole cirlce of friends is into this level of "social" drinking. A little while later as I was leaving she had to go to the liquour store before they closed.
So, whats the best way of breaking off in this situation? What do I say? I figure on telling her I can't relate easily simply because I don't truly know who is real. After happy hour starts I cannot trust what she says and does so how do I place her? I love the kids, they are great (and they have even complained in front of her while I was there about the drink) but I cannot handle the alcohol at this level or circle of friends. Considering alcohol contributed to her husband's death I am even more shocked at the level she can drink.
Anyone been in a similar situation? Advice? Do I follow the advice of my sister and two other women or do I try to find a way to get her off the alcohol.
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