I need some good Dumb Polock Jokes.

[Googer]

I love a good Dumb Polack Joke, don't get mad at me for it because I am one. (Polish)

Some one at work told me they never knew they existed and I want to share a few that I may have forgotten.

The only one I can remember is how do you get a one armed Polack out of a Tree? (If you do not know the Answer, ask)

 

[OdiN]

Answer: Wave

 

[Googer]

Originally posted by: OdiN
Answer: Wave

That is the only one I can remember from my repitoire of dozens from many years ago. I need some other jokes besides that one, do you know any more?

 

[pulse8]

Did you hear about the polock that locked his keys in the car? It took him 2 hours to get his family out.

*from Raising Arizona* Did you hear about the guy of the Polish persuasion who walked into a bar with ****** in his hands and said, "Looked what I almost stepped in!"

 

[Gl4di4tor]

How did the nazis take over poland?
They walked in backwards and said they were leaving.

What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
Take out the pin and throw it back.

What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
Run like hell - he\\\'s still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

How many Polaks does it take to change a light bulb?
3, One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to spin the chair.

Did you hear about the latest Polish invention?
It\\\'s a solar-powered flashlight.

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
Turn off the carousel.

Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
So the cops can find the handles.

Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?
The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree?
Wave to him.

Have you seen the polish mine detector?
Neither has anyone else.

How do you sink a polish battleship?
Put it in water.

How do you sing a polish submarine?
Knock on the door

Do you hear about the Polish loan shark?
He lends out all his money, and then skips town?

Did you know a Polish firing squad stands?
In a circle.

How do germans tie their shoes?
In little nazis.

A german soldier sticks nine jews and an italian soldier into an oven. His commandant demands to know why he put the italian ally in the oven. I vas greasing the oven, he replies. -Kurt

 

[So]

Originally posted by: Gl4di4tor
How did the nazis take over poland?
They walked in backwards and said they were leaving.

What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
Take out the pin and throw it back.

What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
Run like hell - he\\\'s still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

How many Polaks does it take to change a light bulb?
3, One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to spin the chair.

Did you hear about the latest Polish invention?
It\\\'s a solar-powered flashlight.

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
Turn off the carousel.

Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
So the cops can find the handles.

Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?
The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree?
Wave to him.

Have you seen the polish mine detector?
Neither has anyone else.

How do you sink a polish battleship?
Put it in water.

How do you sing a polish submarine?
Knock on the door

Do you hear about the Polish loan shark?
He lends out all his money, and then skips town?

Did you know a Polish firing squad stands?
In a circle.

How do germans tie their shoes?
In little nazis.

A german soldier sticks nine jews and an italian soldier into an oven. His commandant demands to know why he put the italian ally in the oven. I vas greasing the oven, he replies. -Kurt

:laugh:

:beer:!

 

[Kanalua]

The one about the polish astronauts going to land on the Sun....it's okay, they plan on getting there at night...

 

[dxkj]

Famous Polish inventions:

The Inflatable Dart Board
Submarine Screen doors
Ejector seat in helicopter (fixed rotors, ouch)



yeah im the same, i cant remember much.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

Q: How can you tell if a person is a dumb Polak?
A: They can only remember one Polak joke, and it's usually the one about the one-armed Polak in a tree.

 

[Googer]

Originally posted by: dxkj
Famous Polish inventions:

Ejector seat in helicopter (fixed rotors, ouch)



yeah im the same, i cant remember much.

Actually the during the cold war, the Russians invented ejection seats on helicopters. The rotors had explosive charges attached to them and would break away when the pilot hit the eject button.

 

[Googer]

Originally posted by: Garth
Q: How can you tell if a person is a dumb Polak?
A: They can only remember one Polak joke, and it's usually the one about the one-armed Polak in a tree.

Enjoy you ban. Troll.

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: Googer

Originally posted by: dxkj
Famous Polish inventions:

Ejector seat in helicopter (fixed rotors, ouch)



yeah im the same, i cant remember much.

Actually the during the cold war, the Russians invented ejection seats on helicopters. The rotors had explosive charges attached to them and would break away when the pilot hit the eject button.

And I believe there is also a method which shoots the whole cockpit unit to the side out from under the rotors and then shoots off the people in it.....I dunno...I could be wrong.

 

[HN]

three guys were stuck in the desert - a white guy, an asian guy, and a polish guy.
they find a magic lamp and the genie inside grants them a wish to beat the heat.
the white guy asks for a glass of ice. he receives it and begins pouring it on himself and it cools him down.
the asian guy asks for a cup of water. he receives it and begins drinking and it cools him down.
the polish guy asks for a car door.
The other two look at him and ask why in the world would he ask for a car door?

"When it gets hot, i can roll the window down"

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: HN
three guys were stuck in the desert - a white guy, an asian guy, and a polish guy.
they find a magic lamp and the genie inside grants them a wish to beat the heat.
the white guy asks for a glass of ice. he receives it and begins pouring it on himself and it cools him down.
the asian guy asks for a cup of water. he receives it and begins drinking and it cools him down.
the polish guy asks for a car door.
The other two look at him and ask why in the world would he ask for a car door?

"When it gets hot, i can roll the window down"

That's like an amalgamation of 4 different jokes or something.

 

[So]

Originally posted by: Googer

Originally posted by: Garth
Q: How can you tell if a person is a dumb Polak?
A: They can only remember one Polak joke, and it's usually the one about the one-armed Polak in a tree.

Enjoy you ban. Troll.

How can you ask for offensive polack jokes and then be offended by one!?!?!

STFU, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Actually....taking off on Garth's joke (quite good, really)

Q: How can you tell if a person is a dumb Polak?
A: They ask to hear Polak jokes, then come back later and get offended by them.

 

[Googer]

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: Googer

Originally posted by: Garth
Q: How can you tell if a person is a dumb Polak?
A: They can only remember one Polak joke, and it's usually the one about the one-armed Polak in a tree.

Enjoy you ban. Troll.

How can you ask for offensive polack jokes and then be offended by one!?!?!

STFU, you should be ashamed of yourself.

He was reffering to me.

Because that is an attack aimed at me not polocks. Make fun of polocks or any group of people and that is ok. But if you attack me or an individual then it is a differant story, it becomes personal. Comprende?

 

[So]

Originally posted by: Googer

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: Googer

Originally posted by: Garth
Q: How can you tell if a person is a dumb Polak?
A: They can only remember one Polak joke, and it's usually the one about the one-armed Polak in a tree.

Enjoy you ban. Troll.

How can you ask for offensive polack jokes and then be offended by one!?!?!

STFU, you should be ashamed of yourself.

He was reffering to me.

Because that is an attack aimed at me not polocks. Make fun of polocks or any group of people and that is ok. But if you attack me or an individual then it is a differant story, it becomes personal. Comprende?

It was directed at you! OMG, I didn't realize that! How could someone say something mean sipirited on the internet?

If you start a thread like this, you have to expect this stuff. Come on.

And I suggest you learn to be a little self deprecating. If someone made that joke at my expense, I'd be LMAOing right along with everone else. Personally, I've found that being able to laugh at yourself goes a LONG way toward making friends in this world.

 

[Suspicious-Teach8788]

Everyone's a little bit racist!

 

[Googer]

I laugh at myself quite often and find jokes about dumb polocks very amusing. Very few people are hurt or insulted by broadly targeted jokes such as these. Those are the ones that hurt not jokes about certain groups that do not point to any one person in perticular.

Politicians, commeidians, and criminals excluded, it's part of their job to be criticized or laughed at or for that matter anyone who makes the daily news.

 

[dxkj]

Originally posted by: Googer

Originally posted by: dxkj
Famous Polish inventions:

Ejector seat in helicopter (fixed rotors, ouch)



yeah im the same, i cant remember much.

Actually the during the cold war, the Russians invented ejection seats on helicopters. The rotors had explosive charges attached to them and would break away when the pilot hit the eject button.

thats why i put fixed rotors on there... the polish didnt think of that / durrr

 

[Googer]

Originally posted by: dxkj

Originally posted by: Googer

Originally posted by: dxkj
Famous Polish inventions:

Ejector seat in helicopter (fixed rotors, ouch)



yeah im the same, i cant remember much.

Actually the during the cold war, the Russians invented ejection seats on helicopters. The rotors had explosive charges attached to them and would break away when the pilot hit the eject button.

thats why i put fixed rotors on there... the polish didnt think of that / durrr

And neither did I.

 

[So]

Originally posted by: Googer
I laugh at myself quite often and find jokes about dumb polocks very amusing. Very few people are hurt or insulted by broadly targeted jokes such as these. I do not think that picking on an individual is funny to pick on individual people. Those are the ones that hurt not jokes about certain groups that do not point to any one person in perticular.

Politicians, commeidians, and criminals excluded, it's part of their job to be criticized or laughed at or for that matter anyone who makes the daily news.

It's part of EVERYONES job to be criticised. If you think you can get through life without ever being hurt or made fun of, then you're very naive. And if you were REALLY offended by that joke, basically, in which he called you dumb, you have a very thin skin. If we can't make fun of each other, then nobody can ever be comfortable, because we'd all have to walk on eggshells.

 

[RCN]

If you had only asked me 15 years ago.....same with yo' mama jokes.

 

[Googer]

I ignore or do not think much about 98.9999% of all insults. But I do expect or at least greatly appreciate some respect or manners from others. I thirive on criticizm; as long as it is constructive it does not bother me much, and it helps me to improve the way I live or work. If I deserved the insult then I can live with it, but comments like his do not have a need or serve a purpose and that is what irks me.

 

[Googer]

Originally posted by: RCN
If you had only asked me 15 years ago.....same with yo' mama jokes.

In Living Colour comes to mind.