I need some advice

[zach0624]

Make her get the b average during a semester. seriously I know spcial ed kids that keep a b average in regular classes. If you go easy on her that teachs her he doesn't have to work for anything. as a teen a 4.0 is easy for me and I would feel like someone was doing me a dishonor if they just gave me something I had made a deal to work for.

Hope this made sense.

 

[imported_Baloo]

What a sec, she got the Jeep, so she must have met the terms, or so you say:

That's about it to get the jeep. Once she got it she had other terms .... but those do not matter at this point.

Since she's got the jeep, those terms do matter. You said she's already met the terms to get the jeep, so no broken contract there. What are the terms for once she's got it that she's broken?

 

[xgsound]

You keep the car until she gets a B average. She will most likely resist this idea, but you're her dad, not her sugar daddy. It's your job to take the heat in this case. If she can't figure out how to get Bs and then do what she figured out, then she's not ready to drive yet anyway. It could be a very good thing that she doesn't get the jeep yet, or even the license for that matter.


Jim

Baloo: I think you misunderstood. If she got the jeep, (which she did not) there would have been additional terms for it's use. Since she didn't get the jeep the OP didn't tell us what those terms were.

 

[legoman666]

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.

QFT. Getting a D avg in high school is terrible. I literally NEVER studied all my 4 years in high school and had a B+ average

same here. I didn't do jack shit and went to one of those "college prep" private schools and I got an 88 average. I can't imagine doing less work than I did, how in the hell do you get a D?

 

[Eeezee]

Parents today are such pussies. Your daughter is never going to respect you if you let her keep the jeep.

Take the jeep away. She didn't keep her grades up. It's as simple as that. If she gets a B average next time, she can use the jeep again.

Keep in mind that anyone can keep a B average in high school. Your daughter isn't trying. She has to do her homework and study for her tests. High school is so incredibly easy. The B average is nothing.

Take the jeep away. If you don't, your a bad parent. It's as simple as that. She'll hate you for it, but that's part of being a parent. Man up

 

[natto fire]

I don't know if this has been pointed out, but maybe she got the bad grades because she was not studying and busy working to save the one-thousand dollars?

 

[Eeezee]

My parents gave me $50 every semester if I got straight As. I thought that was a great deal! I got 3 Bs in college just because I was lazy and would forget to turn in homework half the time. Usually that was still enough to get an A. You have to try really hard to get less than a B average in today's high schools.

I bought my first car when I graduated from college last May. It felt great.

Your daughter is going to be spoiled if you don't take away the car. Having a D average in high school is absolutely ridiculous. It is so easy to get a B average. How is she supposed to respect you at all if you let her have the Jeep after she didn't keep her end of the deal? Your daughter doesn't need a car anyway; she's in high school. It's a privilege, not a right. She hasn't earned the privilege.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: legoman666

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.

QFT. Getting a D avg in high school is terrible. I literally NEVER studied all my 4 years in high school and had a B+ average

same here. I didn't do jack shit and went to one of those "college prep" private schools and I got an 88 average. I can't imagine doing less work than I did, how in the hell do you get a D?

bad genes?

 

[sjwaste]

Originally posted by: frostedflakes

Originally posted by: sjwaste
Did she get a D average because she was working 30 hrs a week to pay you for the car? Or did she have the free time to study but didn't?

As mentioned earlier, she got a D in gym. You get a D in gym because you don't go to class, or go to class and do absolutely nothing (even if you're out of shape, I don't think I ever knew a phys ed teacher that wouldn't give a student an A or B for putting in the effort). Therefore, it's a safe bet that she didn't bother going to any of her other classes either. To me this suggests that her bad grades were due to lack of effort, not work.

Then you're fine taking it away. Just give her a way to earn it back, thats all. Bring the avg back to a B and another $1000. Then she's getting good grades and has paid for half the car.

 

[FDF12389]

Have you talked with her mother about all of this? If her mom lets her use a different car after she gets her license then your daughter will not learn anything.

 

[Muadib]

Originally posted by: sjwaste

Originally posted by: frostedflakes

Originally posted by: sjwaste
Did she get a D average because she was working 30 hrs a week to pay you for the car? Or did she have the free time to study but didn't?

As mentioned earlier, she got a D in gym. You get a D in gym because you don't go to class, or go to class and do absolutely nothing (even if you're out of shape, I don't think I ever knew a phys ed teacher that wouldn't give a student an A or B for putting in the effort). Therefore, it's a safe bet that she didn't bother going to any of her other classes either. To me this suggests that her bad grades were due to lack of effort, not work.

Then you're fine taking it away. Just give her a way to earn it back, thats all. Bring the avg back to a B and another $1000. Then she's getting good grades and has paid for half the car.

I agree with you on her grades, but I don't think she should be made to come up with more money. It's very possible that the job is what caused her grades to fall.

I remember when my sister first got a job. Her grades fell too, so my mom made her quit. Sure, my sister was pissed, and said some things to my mom that I wanted to hit her for. In the end though, she got her act together. She got another job that summer,and kept it that following school year, maintaining a B average.

Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a chance to make things right. Keep the car for now, and give her a chance to pull her grades up. If she succeeds, great!! You can then give her the car. If she doesn't, then you keep the car until she does. That might mean summer school, but if she wants the car, then she should be willing to do whatever it takes. The car & the money is not the important thing here, her future is. You must remember that.

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Okay, here's the deal. Last summer, I bought my daughter (15) a jeep wrangler. For the record, she lives with her mother 50 miles away. I typed up a contract for her so she would have to "work" for the jeep. I don't think anyone ben no spaceefits from having things given to them. So, the contract was made.

Terms of the contract:
1) Maintain a B grade average the entire school year.
2) get a job when she turns 16 and pay $1000 for the jeep. (for the record the jeep costs 4000)

That's about it to get the jeep. Once she got it she had other terms .... but those do not matter at this point.

A huge plus for her is that she has paid the $1000 by busing tables all winter.
The HUGE down side is her report card came ..... she has a D average. ( High C average last quarter)

I am really torn as what I should do. Part of me feels that there is no way I can reward her for those grades ... What would that teach her? That she can break a contract and not be punished......

Part of me is proud how well she paid for the jeep.

The contract states that breaking any rule will result in losing the jeep.

I know if I don't give her the jeep she will probably hate me. As it is I only she her about once a month.

I don't have a lot of hands on experience being a father ... since she has always lived with her mother.

My daughter is 16 now ... bring very disrespectful to he rmother. WTF? She should have been getting her license this month but her mother canceled her appointment due to her attitude.

Sorry for the rambling ... but I am confused and I wanted to add what I thought was important to this.

1) don't post drunk and if you weren't you need to seek education. That post was beyond 'grammer nazi'.

2) Don't give a gift with 'rules'.

1) i like special people like u --> LINK

2) gift? WTF? readin comprehesion for the wind@!

Originally posted by: ahurtt
You can't enter into a contract with a minor. The parent assumes all responsibility in the case a contract was unknowingly entered into with a minor. So basically you signed a contract with yourself.

Idiot.

ahurtt
Diamond Member
Posts: 3628
Joined: 02/01/2001

you stopped lurking just to post this trash? :|

just stay in yhe closet troll

 

[bignateyk]

Uh, she obviously had no intention of maintaining her end of the contract. If she did, she would have ended up with at least C's. I mean, cmon now, this is highschool we're talking about. In this day and age of grade inflation and feel good education, you have to do LESS than nothing to end up with D's. You've gotta do nothing, AND piss your teachers off.

Sounds to me like she needs a reality check. Take the jeep away until she can get a B average. She isn't going to get into college with a D average. At least she is good at busing tables...

Most teenage girls have a life plan that consists of:

1) Find sugar daddy
2) Shop all day long
3) profit?

 

[Cogman]

D average means she is ditching school, it is nearly impossible to fail high school. you LITERALLY have to do absolutely nothing in order to get an F. Turning in 3 lines for a 2 page paper was enough in my high school to get a C or higher... (no, I didn't do it, but some of the "dumber" kids did. It is sickening that if you are labled as less intelligent you instantly get a free ride just so you don't feel bad.. but I digress.)

Take the jeep away, She needs to learn that there are consequences for her actions and people aren't always going to give her what she wants. I would allow her to buy the jeep back if she earns the rest of the cash for it, but the contract is broken so she looses.

 

[sponge008]

The bigger problem is the grades, unless she's going for trophy wife. If she's just bored by school, which is likely, might homeschooling, private school, or magnet school help for next year?

 

[NanoStuff]

Is she pretty and tall? In that case don't worry about it, give her the car. Only average girls and less have to maintain high grades for a prospective future.

 

[Plumcuda1]

Well, I gave her a chance today to try and make this work so she could get the jeep. I gave her a few options.
If she got a 90 average for the last quarter she would have her B average. She flat out said that was impossible and couldn't do it. Next choice was summer school. Nope, no way. She said she won't go to school during the summer. .... ok, one last try. I said we could start the contract over again for next year. Nope.

I am really disappointed that she doesn't even want to try. I guess this just shows me that she really doesn't want to work for it .... just wants it given to her.

Bottom line. She made her choice, no jeep.

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Well, I gave her a chance today to try and make this work so she could get the jeep. I gave her a few options.
If she got a 90 average for the last quarter she would have her B average. She flat out said that was impossible and couldn't do it. Next choice was summer school. Nope, no way. She said she won't go to school during the summer. .... ok, one last try. I said we could start the contract over again for next year. Nope.

I am really disappointed that she doesn't even want to try. I guess this just shows me that she really doesn't want to work for it .... just wants it given to her.

Bottom line. She made her choice, no jeep.

Wow.. your daughter owns you. But she should be smarter.. if she promises you to do it next year at least she gets the jeep another year, and then you'll give her another few opportunities to keep it when she fails. She will learn how to be more manipulative through this experience.

 

[Plumcuda1]

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Well, I gave her a chance today to try and make this work so she could get the jeep. I gave her a few options.
If she got a 90 average for the last quarter she would have her B average. She flat out said that was impossible and couldn't do it. Next choice was summer school. Nope, no way. She said she won't go to school during the summer. .... ok, one last try. I said we could start the contract over again for next year. Nope.

I am really disappointed that she doesn't even want to try. I guess this just shows me that she really doesn't want to work for it .... just wants it given to her.

Bottom line. She made her choice, no jeep.

Wow.. your daughter owns you. But she should be smarter.. if she promises you to do it next year at least she gets the jeep another year, and then you'll give her another few opportunities to keep it when she fails. She will learn how to be more manipulative through this experience.

You need to read. She does not have the jeep nor has she ever had it. This was all set up for when she finished the school year.

 

[Juno]

GET HER A TUTOR.

my mom was vehemently mad when i got an C in physics. i was sent to after school tutoring even i was on the basketball team. it was really hell but that tutoring helped me to get an A in the next semester.

GET HER A TUTOR!

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Well, I gave her a chance today to try and make this work so she could get the jeep. I gave her a few options.
If she got a 90 average for the last quarter she would have her B average. She flat out said that was impossible and couldn't do it. Next choice was summer school. Nope, no way. She said she won't go to school during the summer. .... ok, one last try. I said we could start the contract over again for next year. Nope.

I am really disappointed that she doesn't even want to try. I guess this just shows me that she really doesn't want to work for it .... just wants it given to her.

Bottom line. She made her choice, no jeep.

Wow.. your daughter owns you.

You need to read. She does not have the jeep nor has she ever had it. This was all set up for when she finished the school year.

fixed

 

[xeemzor]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Well, I gave her a chance today to try and make this work so she could get the jeep. I gave her a few options.
If she got a 90 average for the last quarter she would have her B average. She flat out said that was impossible and couldn't do it. Next choice was summer school. Nope, no way. She said she won't go to school during the summer. .... ok, one last try. I said we could start the contract over again for next year. Nope.

I am really disappointed that she doesn't even want to try. I guess this just shows me that she really doesn't want to work for it .... just wants it given to her.

Bottom line. She made her choice, no jeep.

You made the right choice, even if it was tough. Your daughter has to learn that it takes initiative and follow through to get anything done in the real world. Continuing to count on your parents for the rest of your life isn't realistic at all, and I hope she has the chance to grow up.

 

[TehMac]

The whole thing makes me sick. You need to talk to her mother and make her go to summer school.

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: sjwaste
Did she get a D average because she was working 30 hrs a week to pay you for the car? Or did she have the free time to study but didn't?

^^^

My parents would disown me if i failed highschool

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

You did tell her she had to go to Summer school anyways though, right?