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I need some advice

P

Plumcuda1

Senior member
Okay, here is the deal. Last summer I bought my daughter (15) a jeep wrangler. For the record she lives with her mother 50 miles away. I typed up a contract for her so she would have to "work" for the jeep. I don't think anyone benefits from having things given to them. So, The contract was made.

Terms of the contract:
1) Mantain a B grade average the entire school year.
2) get a job when she turns 16 and pay $1000 for the jeep. (for the record the jeep costs 4000)

That's about it to get the jeep. Once she got it she had other terms .... but those do not matter at this point.

A huge plus for her is that she has paid the $1000 by busing tables all winter.
The HUGE down side is her report card came ..... she has a D average. ( High C average last quarter)

I am really torn as what I should do. Part of me feels that there is no way I can reward her for those grades ... What would that teach her? That she can break a contract and not be punished......

Part of me is proud how well she paid for the jeep.

The contract states that breaking any rule will result in losing the jeep.

I know if I don't give her the jeep she will probably hate me. As it is I only she her about once a month.

I don't have a lot of hands on experience being a father ... since she has always lived with her mother.

My daughter is 16 now ... being very disrespectful to her mother. She should have been getting her license this month but her mother canceled her appointment due to her attitude.

Sorry for the rambling ... but I am confused and I wanted to add what I thought was important to this.





Edited for the grammar Nazis
 
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.

 
Tough situation and while I certainly don't have any experience in these matters I feel like the attitude problem in addition to the broken terms result in no jeep. BUT, maybe workout a new plan so she can earn it back?

Are you sure the attitude problems aren't just her being a teenager?

Good luck, hopefully some more experienced members can help you out.
 
Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.
Click to expand...

QFT. Getting a D avg in high school is terrible. I literally NEVER studied all my 4 years in high school and had a B+ average
 
Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.
Click to expand...

Worst part is a D in gym class.....
 
Originally posted by: rsd
Take away the car until she gets her grades up, seems simple to me.
Click to expand...

Sounds about right. Also, collaborate with the mother if you can on the final solution.
 
Tell her she can get the jeep when she averages a B for a semester-- of if you want to be nice,
she can show you her report-card half-way through a semester.

But if she agreed to what you originally proposed, there's almost no chance I would just give the car
to her just because she did half of what she was supposed to do. If you give her the jeep now, what
incentive will she have next semester? Or ever?
 
The "disrespectful" attitude explains a bit. Starting her rebellious stage, which helps to explains her grades. You really have to give up to get a D or fail. A C at least means she might be trying...

Take the damn car away. Maybe have a nice 'sit down' before you take the car cause I'm pretty sure the letters "F" and "U" will be drowning out your voice(s) afterwards.
 
In a normal situation I'd say give her a chance to improve before taking it away. But a D average in high school is terrible - she must be ditching school and the car probably aids in that. So I would take it away unless you're convinced you and your ex can get her to change her attitude towards school and improve.
 
How did she get a D average? I'm a slumping senior and I'm still maintaining a B- or so. I don't know anyone that has a D average in my school (and this is a pretty hard school, as far as high school goes). That really means she's doing NOTHING in school.

Edit: Maybe since it's the end of the school year, tell her that if she gets B's or better on ALL of her finals then she can have it. That's actually reasonably difficult to do.
 
Make a new agreement with her...

Maybe that she gets to keep the jeep for every test/assignment she gets that is a B or better. If she gets lower than a B, she doesn't get the jeep until she can bring home another assignment with a higher grade.
 
Originally posted by: Platypus
You have to try to get a D average in high school.. take the jeep off the table, she didn't earn it.
Click to expand...

Ya really, you can get a C average just by showing up.
 
She doesnt have the jeep ... and has never had it. So that couldnt help her skip school or get bad grades. She would get the jeep when the school year was over and if she met all the requirements of the contract.
 
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