I need job help desperately, I can't take much more. So depressed

[BlahBlahYouToo]

Where do you live?

iirc he lives in NJ.

 

[Malak]

I'm 38 years old and I feel like my life is being thrown away working full time jobs.

That is because you feel there's no value in your job. People who put value in their work don't feel the same. IT is probably one of the hardest jobs to really feel like you are doing anything important. It's not easy finding value in most jobs though. I used to like the saying, "I work to live, I don't live to work." I don't want to be a slave to a job. But a job is necessary for most people, so maybe consider a different career? I switched from IT to human services and I'm not going to look back.

 

[LittleNemoNES]

meh welcome to my world. Working full time to support my parents since they've been unemployed for 1 year + and can't find work.

If you have vacation time available, it's time to use it.

 

[Modelworks]

I know the work consuming life and not being happy feeling all too well. I gave up $250K a year to now earn less than $50K. The reason was simple, it was killing me and I wasn't happy. If you are having to work too much to maintain your current lifestyle, give up the lifestyle. Relocate the family and adjust to a life that you can enjoy. I know most peoples first response is "I can't" and my answer is why, what is stopping you ? What is so important that you rather be miserable than change it ?

The word 'can't' is used way too much. Try inserting " I don't want to " in place of it and you start to understand the reason you might be hanging on to things that cause you grief. Also watch out for that 'need' word, often it really is a want that we just don't like the consequence of thinking about.

There is no way I'll ever get back into the trap of worrying about work , mortgages, promotions, and all that other stuff. Life is too short.

 

[gigahertz20]

I know the work consuming life and not being happy feeling all too well. I gave up $250K a year to now earn less than $50K. The reason was simple, it was killing me and I wasn't happy. If you are having to work too much to maintain your current lifestyle, give up the lifestyle. Relocate the family and adjust to a life that you can enjoy. I know most peoples first response is "I can't" and my answer is why, what is stopping you ? What is so important that you rather be miserable than change it ?

The word 'can't' is used way too much. Try inserting " I don't want to " in place of it and you start to understand the reason you might be hanging on to things that cause you grief. Also watch out for that 'need' word, often it really is a want that we just don't like the consequence of thinking about.

There is no way I'll ever get back into the trap of worrying about work , mortgages, promotions, and all that other stuff. Life is too short.

Amen brother.

 

[TallBill]

I know the work consuming life and not being happy feeling all too well. I gave up $250K a year to now earn less than $50K. The reason was simple, it was killing me and I wasn't happy. If you are having to work too much to maintain your current lifestyle, give up the lifestyle. Relocate the family and adjust to a life that you can enjoy. I know most peoples first response is "I can't" and my answer is why, what is stopping you ? What is so important that you rather be miserable than change it ?

The word 'can't' is used way too much. Try inserting " I don't want to " in place of it and you start to understand the reason you might be hanging on to things that cause you grief. Also watch out for that 'need' word, often it really is a want that we just don't like the consequence of thinking about.

There is no way I'll ever get back into the trap of worrying about work , mortgages, promotions, and all that other stuff. Life is too short.

No doubt. I chuckle all the time when people treat me like a lower class citizen because my job is so meaningless. They are damned right, serving food + drink to people is really not that important to the world. But I make good cash, can live with my hours, and bring zero stress home from work.

 

[chusteczka]

Many people work on their off-time to create a source of secondary income. Often websites focused to solve a specific problem or sell things.

Otherwise, go to school, earn certifications, and work. Repeat this cycle when out of work.

I am lucky in a way, my way out of the cycle came from an older friend who spent his career thinking of options to get out of the cycle. He needs help realizing his dream and I am there to help him and ensure his retirement plan succeeds. Thereby ensuring my own success. The unfortunate side is the risk involved by taking myself out of programing, so my programming skills are stagnating.

 

[esun]

Sounds like a mid-life crisis to me (though in fact this can happen to basically any adult, I know many people with similar complaints in their mid-20s). Finding balance in one's life isn't easy. Work hard, make lots of money, but have no free time, or do something fun but make little money. Nobody can pick the right trade-off except you.

 

[Double Trouble]

Some good posts in this thread, there is hope yet for Anandtech 🙂

Arkitech, trust me on this one: not only are you not the only one, the majority of people are or have been in that situation. In this economy you just have to buckle down and deal with it for a bit, but when options open up it's time to make a move to doing something you feel is more rewarding.

I consider myself extremely lucky. Yes, I put in a lot of hours, but I love what I do, and I still have the flexibility to spend time with the wife and kids.

Hang in there for now, pay the bills, stay on track, but take steps so that when the economy eventually shows signs of life you're ready to make changes.

 

[xSauronx]

No doubt. I chuckle all the time when people treat me like a lower class citizen because my job is so meaningless. They are damned right, serving food + drink to people is really not that important to the world. But I make good cash, can live with my hours, and bring zero stress home from work.

if the bills are being paid thats pretty damn hard to beat.

a buddy of mine is an IT service tech for a company, he roams the same places week in and week out...the pay isnt great (im pretty sure with his skill set he could be making more) but the job is good, it pays the bills, and i almost never hear him complain about work.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I switched from IT to human services and I'm not going to look back.

Is that HR?

 

[Kirby]

There's always construction. My dad made good money working for Fluor as a boilermaker. Bust your ass for a month or so, come home for a couple weeks and do it again. Plenty of overtime and you've got pretty much the whole summer off. He's good at networking, and now has a job for power plant airheater company that pays 2 to 3 times as much.

He majored in political science and minored in history.

 

[Juddog]

I went through the same thing; got into a highly specialized field, got laid off, and couldn't pick up another job in that field because the company I worked for collapsed, flooding the market with other people that had my skillset. I ended up having to start over again from scratch at a much lower pay scale, and now here I am trying to work my way up again in another specialized field of IT.

 

[RaistlinZ]

The easiest money I ever made was working as a pizza delivery guy a few years back. I had been out of work for about 6 months and was at the end of my rope with rent due. It paid minimum wage + tips + $1.00 for gas for each delivery.

On a moderately busy day I was averaging about $13.00/hr when you factor in tips - all for driving my own car around town listening to music and delivering pizzas. The work wasn't "important" by any means - but it was EASY CA$H - and I couldn't have cared less if anyone looked down on me for what I did.

And while I was doing that I was able to spend a great deal of time looking for my dream job, which I eventually found. Hopefully things will turn around for you too, OP. At least your job still lets you tinker around with PC's all day. 😀

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

Is it possible to cut back on your full time job and pick up something that's perhaps unrelated but more rewarding?

 

[PingSpike]

The trouble with manual labor is eventually your body starts to wear out, while you can push papers around on a desk when you're 70. And with the ways things are, most of us will likely being forced to do something when we're 70.

Manual labor is kind of more satisfying though, I mean its nice to look at something and say "I built that" rather than go home from work and your only accomplishment seems to have been filling out pointless forms that get put in a box somewhere.

My only advice would be to try to build some kind of side business doing what you love. I've been sort of working in that direction, its just hard when you've spent all day at work and rotting in traffic then you get home and you spend less time with your wife than you do with your coworkers to find time to make something happen. I need adderall and some kind of drug that makes it so I don't have to sleep or something.

 

[ViviTheMage]

Guess I am still young ... but I love IT, love it all still. I couldn't imagine switching jobs, but I could see why one would after xx years.

 

[rasczak]

if you were working on such a specialized system, why not consult? You can work your own hours, granted you may be on 24hour on call, but hell you'll be your own boss making what you want.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Guess I am still young ... but I love IT, love it all still. I couldn't imagine switching jobs, but I could see why one would after xx years.

The desire to leave IT is probably directly proportional to the time you spend dealing with end users directly. 😀 As a relatively new developer, I'm learning that every day. 😵

 

[Homerboy]

PM'ed ya OP.

 

[rudder]

. I'm 38 years old and I feel like my life is being thrown away working full time jobs. I wish I could spend more time with my family, more time with people I care about, more time doing things I enjoy.

I've got a crap job in IT. But I leave at 3:30 and I get home about the same time as the wife and children. try to swing something like an earlier time to get off work.

Fortunately for me at 3:29p.m., my job is gone until the next morning as well as all weekend. It affords me a lot of time for the family and activities. Like you I am into photography. I do occasional work on the side. When the kids are a little older and more independent I will start looking to do other things.

 

[ViviTheMage]

The desire to leave IT is probably directly proportional to the time you spend dealing with end users directly. 😀 As a relatively new developer, I'm learning that every day. 😵

I get a mixture of 'end user' support...day job = 80% back end/server/network, %20 internal emplyees with issues...tier 3 support I guess you could call it.

side job, I deal 100% with customers, and 100% with back end stuff.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I get a mixture of 'end user' support...day job = 80% back end/server/network, %20 internal emplyees with issues...tier 3 support I guess you could call it.

side job, I deal 100% with customers, and 100% with back end stuff.

I miss my old infrastructure job. I've done a few things on the side and have considered trying to do more, but I am not good at marketing myself or networking with people.

 

[ViviTheMage]

I miss my old infrastructure job. I've done a few things on the side and have considered trying to do more, but I am not good at marketing myself or networking with people.

Yeah ... I know how that is ... networking is hard imo. It seems like everyone has ideas, but no balls to move on em.

 

[Eli]

I've worked full time all my life. I know exactly how you feel. It feels like such a waste of time..

But that's life I guess.