I need help with a relationship, concerning trust issues...issues with ME!!

[erikiksaz]

Well, the girl that i'm seeing began to talk about what we've done (how far we've gone in a relationship). And thinking back on it, i knew that i couldn't tell her that i'm not a *you know what* because i didn't know how she would react. She's also fairly religious, so it might play an even larger role in her agenda. I was worried because i want to be completely honest with her, and up to this point, i have been, and so has she. But when it comes to this, I don't know what to do. I really want to tell her, but as we've only been unofficially/officially seeing each other for about a month, i don't know if it's too early, or if she's ready to hear this. I just couldn't stand lying to her. But i know i also wouldn't be able to stand losing her to this lie. What am i supposed to do? The conversation's over, and all i told her was that i ended on kissing, and the many varieties. I feel like such a bastard

 

[gopunk]

i guess i'm kind of a reckless individual when it comes to these things, but i would just tell her the truth. i dunno if this is best or not, but that's just what i would do to get the whole damn thing over with as soon as possible

 

[TranceNation]

whats the big deal? people have sex all the time

 

[sean2002]

Just tell her and get it over with. Your with her now and if that's not good enough she is too insecure.

 

[Frosty3799]

Originally posted by: erikiksaz The conversation's over, and all i told her was that i ended on kissing, and the many varieties. I feel like such a bastard

come on... suck it up and tell her the truth. if you really think this relationship could go somewhere, then i dont think that something you did in the past would change her views on you currently

 

[HamSupLo]

go for the Clinton like definitions of sexual relations

 

[erikiksaz]

Originally posted by: jooksing
go for the Clinton like definitions of sexual relations

Haha, well, i don't think that'll work this time around

 

[Miramonti]

Just tell her, you'll be better off. You'll lose points for it but will gain more than enough honesty and integrity points to make up for it...well, atleast honesty points.

 

[Muadib]

Come clean!! I don't understand why you would lie about such an important issue. You owe it to her to tell the truth, even though she might dump you.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Just tell her you are gay. If you then change it to "I've had sex with a girl before I met you" it will be a relieve for her.

 

[eakers]

TELL HER.
NEVER EVER LIE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE WHEN YOU ARE CAUGHT SHE WILL NEVER EVER FORGET OR LET YOU FORGET IT.
AND THIS IS A BIG ISSUE, UNDERSTADABLY FOR A RELIGIOUS PERSON AND YOU NEED TO BE AS OPEN ABOUT IT AS POSSIBLE.

*kat. <-- a girl so knows about the if you lie you will be on an even shorter leash than every other man theory

 

[Hammer]

I think you should lie to her. Never tell chicks the truth, always tell him what they want to hear.

 

[Que-TiP]

while I would tell the truth, i think you should lie.

 

[eakers]

Originally posted by: hammer09
I think you should lie to her. Never tell chicks the truth, always tell him what they want to hear.

AND YOU WANT ME TO COME AND VISIT YOU?!

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MAYBE YOU REALLY ARE A CRAZY INTERNET PERSON

AHHHHHHHHH YOU KNOW MY ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER.....

*kat. <-- will visit someday cuz shes a crazy internet person too.

 

[monk3y]

Originally posted by: Que-TiP
while I would tell the truth, i think you should lie.

Well said hehe.

 

[Michael1897]

tell her and when she asks why you lied tell her that you were scared about how she would react. just be honest.

 

[Daniel]

I had that same talk with a very naive, religious girl before too, tell the truth, she was a bit thrown off for a bit but she said "I don't care about you in the past, I care about you now", shame she was a psycho otherwise.

 

[Hammer]

I was being my evil self again

*me mails kat a working kb

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: hammer09
I think you should lie to her. Never tell chicks the truth, always tell him what they want to hear.

AND YOU WANT ME TO COME AND VISIT YOU?!

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MAYBE YOU REALLY ARE A CRAZY INTERNET PERSON

AHHHHHHHHH YOU KNOW MY ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER.....

*kat. <-- will visit someday cuz shes a crazy internet person too.

 

[erikiksaz]

Mann, i just told her to call me this morning, and she was just so happy, vibrant. Hopefully she'll stay the same after i tell her

 

[Cattlegod]

just plow her and get it over with.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: erikiksaz
Well, the girl that i'm seeing began to talk about what we've done (how far we've gone in a relationship). And thinking back on it, i knew that i couldn't tell her that i'm not a *you know what* because i didn't know how she would react. She's also fairly religious, so it might play an even larger role in her agenda. I was worried because i want to be completely honest with her, and up to this point, i have been, and so has she. But when it comes to this, I don't know what to do. I really want to tell her, but as we've only been unofficially/officially seeing each other for about a month, i don't know if it's too early, or if she's ready to hear this. I just couldn't stand lying to her. But i know i also wouldn't be able to stand losing her to this lie. What am i supposed to do? The conversation's over, and all i told her was that i ended on kissing, and the many varieties. I feel like such a bastard

You should say:

"I didn't want to tell you that i'm not a virgin because i didn't know how you would react. I was scared your faith might play a role in your reaction. I'm worried because i want to be completely honest with you, and up to this point, i have been. But when it comes to this, I don't know what to do. I really want to tell you, but as we've only been unofficially/officially seeing each other for about a month, i don't know if it's too early, or if you're ready to hear this. I just couldn't stand lying to you. But i know i also wouldn't be able to stand losing you over this. What am i supposed to do? I feel like such a bastard

 

[Hammer]

seriously though, you should tell. The more time passes the harder it will be. The downside though is because the relationship is fairly new it could kill it. But if you do get past it, then your in the clear. If she a mature girl and she cares about you, you should be ok. djheater's response was excellent. say something along those lines.

 

[erikiksaz]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: erikiksaz
Well, the girl that i'm seeing began to talk about what we've done (how far we've gone in a relationship). And thinking back on it, i knew that i couldn't tell her that i'm not a *you know what* because i didn't know how she would react. She's also fairly religious, so it might play an even larger role in her agenda. I was worried because i want to be completely honest with her, and up to this point, i have been, and so has she. But when it comes to this, I don't know what to do. I really want to tell her, but as we've only been unofficially/officially seeing each other for about a month, i don't know if it's too early, or if she's ready to hear this. I just couldn't stand lying to her. But i know i also wouldn't be able to stand losing her to this lie. What am i supposed to do? The conversation's over, and all i told her was that i ended on kissing, and the many varieties. I feel like such a bastard

You should say:

"I didn't want to tell you that i'm not a virgin because i didn't know how you would react. I was scared your faith might play a role in your reaction. I'm worried because i want to be completely honest with you, and up to this point, i have been. But when it comes to this, I don't know what to do. I really want to tell you, but as we've only been unofficially/officially seeing each other for about a month, i don't know if it's too early, or if you're ready to hear this. I just couldn't stand lying to you. But i know i also wouldn't be able to stand losing you over this. What am i supposed to do? I feel like such a bastard

:Q, that's a keeper. I appreciate the help guys a whole bunch, i am coming clean TODAY! Ahh, now where would i be without ATOT.

 

[Shelly21]

Tell her,

if she leaves you because of it, she's probably not the person who you want to be with in the first place.

 

[Shelly21]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: erikiksaz
Well, the girl that i'm seeing began to talk about what we've done (how far we've gone in a relationship). And thinking back on it, i knew that i couldn't tell her that i'm not a *you know what* because i didn't know how she would react. She's also fairly religious, so it might play an even larger role in her agenda. I was worried because i want to be completely honest with her, and up to this point, i have been, and so has she. But when it comes to this, I don't know what to do. I really want to tell her, but as we've only been unofficially/officially seeing each other for about a month, i don't know if it's too early, or if she's ready to hear this. I just couldn't stand lying to her. But i know i also wouldn't be able to stand losing her to this lie. What am i supposed to do? The conversation's over, and all i told her was that i ended on kissing, and the many varieties. I feel like such a bastard

You should say:

"I didn't want to tell you that i'm not a virgin because i didn't know how you would react. I was scared your faith might play a role in your reaction. I'm worried because i want to be completely honest with you, and up to this point, i have been. But when it comes to this, I don't know what to do. I really want to tell you, but as we've only been unofficially/officially seeing each other for about a month, i don't know if it's too early, or if you're ready to hear this. I just couldn't stand lying to you. But i know i also wouldn't be able to stand losing you over this. What am i supposed to do? I feel like such a bastard

Simply amazing. I'd be emontionally teary with this one.