I need help guys. input required. family problems and i dont know how i can help. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DannyLove]

okay. let me first describe what is going on. I've had it with my brothers. I have two older brothers. one 22, the other 25. and guess what? they live with my parents. I'm 20 and I live on my own already. but here is the problem. My parents are very sensitive and religious. My brothers of course are the opposite. They go out party come home drunk, etc.

Now. Ever since i started college and left the house, i continued to tell my parents to kick these damn bastards out. my dad told me that he would never do that. and my mom says the same damn thing. but my brothers are causing hell and make my mom cry many times. Everytime i talk to my parents about my brothers, they tell me how irresponisble they are, etc. I tried to talk to my brothers about moving out and they just don't see the real picture. I need in trying to get them out of that house. My brothers aren't responsible as it is right now, but they seriously need to get out of the hosue before they kill my parents with such saddness. It hurts for me to even think this and me being away from all this hurts me too, cause i want to help my parents and my brothers. how can i do it? i tried talking to my brother right now and he starts blaming my dad for evertthing. i tell him to shut the f up and just hangs up. HOW CAN IT GET THROUGH THEIR HEADS? anyone with a similar problem? i just want the best for my parents. my brothers are just destroying them. :|

any help?

danny~!

 

If they won't listen, there is next to nothing you can do.

Maturity is learned by one's self.

 

[Linux23]

do you have a gun??? you could pull a Clint on them!


"go ahead, make my day!"

 

[GoldenGuppy]

Danny - it's simple parental love... no matter how bad their children are (in the case of your brothers) the parents will always love them.

You can settle this w/ an argument, you have to get your brothers to understand what your parents are going through everytime they get drunk or bring up havoc. You have to try to sit down and talk w/ your brothers. Tell them how they are "hurting their flesh and blood" and that they should learn to fend for themselves and get off their parents backs.

You should lead by example... show them how you, even though are younger than both of them, have found a way to survive. They shouldn't depend on their parents for life.

THat's the bottom line

><GG>

 

[Yeeny]

Danny, my brother was the same way, always yelling, partying, doing what he wanted. (He was younger than yours, but still.) My mom would call me crying because he would not respect her, and treated her like garbage. But what it comes down to is until your parents say something, this behavior will continue, unless your brothers decide to change. Thank God mine did, and now has a good job, and a good head on his shoulders. He still has a long way to go, but now at least he is going in the right direction. Really, there is nothing you can do, besides try to talk to them. Good luck honeybuns, I know how rough it is to feel torn between your family.

 

[DannyLove]

><GG>: i know what you're talking about and I do try to talk with my brothers. but its hard to talk to them, why? because they don't like the fact that their &quot;little brother&quot; is teaching them a thing or two. They have gained so much &quot;hatred&quot; or (other word i cant think of) towards me ever since i left to college. they just wont hear me out. even though i know for a fact that my maturity level totally exceeds theirs. I know my parents wont take action. man......this is horrible and all i can do is sit and watch as they all tear each others hearts away.

danny~!

 

[GoldenGuppy]

<< because they don't like the fact that their &quot;little brother&quot; is teaching them a thing or two. >>



I hate these type of people who think that they're too good to learn anything. I suggest that you take matters into your own hands, seeing how your parents seem as if they won't do anything at all. I don't know what you can really do though, cuz once an argument starts, it's really hard to end, especially in a situation like this. Arguing won't get you anyway.

You might talk to your parents; tell them , &quot;Hey, I love you guys, and I want what's best for you, so please be firm and tell my brothers to take a hike - if you don't, I don't know how I'd ever live w/ myself&quot;

This might work, cuz if you bring yourself into the scenario, your parents will feel as if they are obligated towards your well being, that if they don't take action - YOU would be hurt, and they wouldn't want that - so this may work.

Might want to try professional counselor's help too <- but they can get really costly and annoying - the way they'd prob into your family affairs and all :|

><GG>

 

[DannyLove]

<< &quot;Hey, I love you guys, and I want what's best for you, so please be firm and tell my brothers to take a hike - if you don't, I don't know how I'd ever live w/ myself&quot; >>

you have absolutely no idea how many times i tell this to my parents. there is no hope. thanks for replying.

danny~!

 

[GoldenGuppy]

Maybe it's for the better.. since both your parents seem to be set on the principle that they shouldn't be kicking out their own sons.

Just let things take care of themselves from here, at least you know that you've tried your best to make things right. But I guess this is one of those times when you just have to let those you love make their own decisions.

Maybe your parents just really enjoy their sons' company (trying to look at things on the bright-side)

><GG>

 

[GL]

I say just leave it be. Right now, you're the exception. Your parents are fine with the way your brothers are and you interfering might upset them. Just let is slide...you're 20, you've got better things to do like bring hot women home to meet your mom

 

[Azraele]

Danny: As hard as this is to say, I don't think you're in much of a position to make a change. All you can do is what you have been doing until your words no longer fall on deaf ears. Either your brothers will clean up their act, move out, or your parents will finally get fed up enough and force them out. Until then, be as supportive of your parents as possible, and perhaps you can find a way to convince them that being on their own would be in your brothers' best interest. Your parents are letting them stay there because they love them and want what's best for them. If they believed that your brothers' best interest lay in striking out on their own, they might work harder to get them out and in the world (where with luck, they'll straighten out and learn some responsibility and the family can be better off).

If you have a question or if I can in any way help, don't hesitate to send me a pm or quick enail.