I need a good, clean joke for tomorrows exam...

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Frosty3799

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2000
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My principles of speech teacher has a blank on each exam for us to write in a clean joke, and if it makes him laugh out loud then we get some bonus points... so whose got a good joke?
 
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Frosty3799

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2000
3,795
0
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Originally posted by: fanerman91
too bad he's not a math teacher. you coulda used that joke that was in ATOT today.
Click to expand...

link me?

EDIT: i just got here now... meaning 12:30 EST so i missed it
 
freakflag

freakflag

Diamond Member
Mar 22, 2001
3,951
1
71
What do blondes and computers have in common?























You don't appreciate either one until they go down on you.

(Not sure if this qualifies as clean, but, it's funny.)
 
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pennylane

Diamond Member
Apr 28, 2002
6,077
1
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A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.

e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"

diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"

shamelessly copied from Elemental007
 
F

Frosty3799

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2000
3,795
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0
Originally posted by: freakflag
What do blondes and computers have in common?























You don't appreciate either one until they go down on you.

(Not sure if this qualifies as clean, but, it's funny.)
Click to expand...


Heh... yea he said it has to be presentable to his wife and two small kids...
 
F

Frosty3799

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2000
3,795
0
0
Originally posted by: fanerman91
A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.

e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"

diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"

shamelessly copied from Elemental007
Click to expand...

lol... yea i don't see him understanding that
 
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fatbaby

Banned
May 7, 2001
6,427
1
0
Three men were shipwrecked on a desert island and where captured by the local natives. They were brought to the chief native. The chief gave the men two choices; they could have death or submit to unga bunga. The first man decides he does not want to die, so he chooses unga bunga. Ten of the natives took him into the woods, when he came back one hour later he was all beaten up. The second man chooses unga bunga and he was taken out the woods for 2 hours where the natives beat him up. The third man not wanting to go through all that torture decided upon death. So the chief said ok death by Unga Bunga
 
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pulse8

Lifer
May 3, 2000
20,860
1
81
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"


or


A puerto rican, a russian and a pollock walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
 
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RyanM

Platinum Member
Feb 12, 2001
2,387
0
76
And MY favorite joke.










Ready?







Two baby seals walk into a club.

::rimshot::

Get it? Setup and punchline, in one sentence! IT'S THE SHORTEST JOKE IN THE WORLD!
 
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MercenaryForHire

Lifer
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: MachFive
And MY favorite joke.










Ready?







Two baby seals walk into a club.

::rimshot::

Get it? Setup and punchline, in one sentence! IT'S THE SHORTEST JOKE IN THE WORLD!
Click to expand...

/muffles laughter in order to not wake entire family

Okay, now that was funny! :D

- M4H
 
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pennylane

Diamond Member
Apr 28, 2002
6,077
1
0
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: MachFive
And MY favorite joke.










Ready?







Two baby seals walk into a club.

::rimshot::

Get it? Setup and punchline, in one sentence! IT'S THE SHORTEST JOKE IN THE WORLD!
Click to expand...

/muffles laughter in order to not wake entire family

Okay, now that was funny! :D

- M4H
Click to expand...

Excuse my slowness.... I don't get it...
 
M

MercenaryForHire

Lifer
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: fanerman91
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: MachFive
Two baby seals walk into a club.

::rimshot::

Get it? Setup and punchline, in one sentence! IT'S THE SHORTEST JOKE IN THE WORLD!
Click to expand...

/muffles laughter in order to not wake entire family

Okay, now that was funny! :D

- M4H
Click to expand...

Excuse my slowness.... I don't get it...
Click to expand...

You broke my sarcasm meter.

- M4H
 
H

HappyCracker

Senior member
Mar 10, 2001
939
5
81
Did you hear the one about the Indian that had to sleep in the lobby because he didn't have a reservation?
HA!
or: What does a constipated mathematician do?
.......
Works it out with a pencil

Good luck! (the test I mean)
 
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pennylane

Diamond Member
Apr 28, 2002
6,077
1
0
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: fanerman91
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: MachFive
Two baby seals walk into a club.

::rimshot::

Get it? Setup and punchline, in one sentence! IT'S THE SHORTEST JOKE IN THE WORLD!
Click to expand...

/muffles laughter in order to not wake entire family

Okay, now that was funny! :D

- M4H
Click to expand...

Excuse my slowness.... I don't get it...
Click to expand...

You broke my sarcasm meter.

- M4H
Click to expand...

Oh it doesn't matter what I think. But I just don't see how it could be funny. Why it is lame... why it qualifies as a joke... etc....
Okay, if it's as lame as I think... then... nevermind.
 
F

Frosty3799

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2000
3,795
0
0
ehh the british scientist one can be a fall back... and no offense MachFive, but I think he would take off points for the baby seals joke...

what else we got?
 
M

MercenaryForHire

Lifer
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: fanerman91
Oh it doesn't matter what I think. But I just don't see how it could be funny. Why it is lame... why it qualifies as a joke... etc....
Okay, if it's as lame as I think... then... nevermind.
Click to expand...

Because clubbing baby seals is funny? :twistedSOBsmiley;

- M4H
 
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