My run-in with wrestling greatness takes place back in 2005 in Detroit - March 25th, to be exact. I know this because I still have the ticket stub. What show did I catch, you might ask? Was it a Royal Rumble? Smackdown taping? Oh no, my friends. This wasn't a wrestling show. That fateful Friday, at the Fox Theater across the street from Comerica Park, I was at an Ashlee Simpson concert.
My girlfriend at the time was an absolute sucker for anything reality-TV related, including Ashlee Simpson. That led to an unhealthy obsession with her "music," and in turn led me to purchase her two tickets to the Detroit show as a Valentine's Day gift. The tickets were meant for her and a friend of her choice; she didn't see it that way.
We were barely through the front doors when she already had to pee. I followed her over to the ladies' room entrance, where there were couches inside of a small waiting area, and executed my boyfriendly duties of holding the purse. As I took a seat on one of the couches, I noticed a giant hulk of red, white and blue mass, with slick black hair. He was hunched over looking at his phone, but as he put it away and sat up straight in the chair, we locked eyes. It was WWE superstar Dave Batista.
Being the only heterosexual male over the age of 18 anywhere near the Fox Theater, I was the only one to notice. As we sat across the room from each other, I gave him my best inquisitive face with a raised eyebrow, as if to say "what are you doing here?" A smile broke out over his face as he realized that at least one person could identify him. He returned the look with a shrug of his shoulder and his hands in the air, clearly not wanting to be there either. We both laughed and nodded our heads in agreement. Just then, a girl no older than 10 came out of the ladies room. Big Dave stood up in his full American flag tracksuit (!!) as the little girl took his hand as they made their way to find their seats. It turns out he has young daughters, and this one unfortunately had horrible taste in music.
Batista looked back over his shoulder and said "enjoy the show" with a big grin. I spend the next two hours fantasizing that he would jump on stage, give Simpson the trademark thumbs down, and powerbomb her off the stage. I have to believe he was imagining the same.
Facebook
Twitter