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I just OWNED this ant

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Originally posted by: FallenHero
Originally posted by: jonmullen
than the ant's thousands of kids OWNED you 3 days later.
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NEVER! I will defend my brothers. I will raid and ransack the ants homes and villages. No ant city is safe. I shall carry on this war to the bitter end! Squire, prepare...the gas can!
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That's the spirit! This battle can't be won without confronting the enemy in their own homes. Get the garden hose and prepare to flood them all!
 
Dude, I just owned your Aunt. After an interesting sexipade, she wanted me to pay her. Didn't know she was like that. So...

the closest thing was a pen, so i thrust my weapon down on her. it struck and crushed her backside.

the aunt was a fighter, though. she started running around rampant. she was going down too fast for me to successfully connect with a second shot. she made a turn and charged straight for me, going under my computer. before I could react, she jumped right off the desk onto my lap, wanting more.

at this point i flipped out and jumped out of my seat. I brushed her off of my naked lap and she landed on the ground. at this point she stopped moaning wildly and begin wandering away.

it was clear to me that I could not let this go on and keep my pride. it would either be her or me, in a fight to the death. so, pen in hand, i thrust a mighty blow down upon her. the fat end of the pen crushed her skull, and the day was won.

after brushing the aunt's corpse under my desk, i just felt so relieved i thought i'd tell you all of my adventurous endeavor. another battle fought, and another victory won.

Unfortunately, she's starting to stink up the place now. I'm going to have to rent a woodchipper soon.
 
Originally posted by: DanJ
Originally posted by: Cougar
Originally posted by: xEDIT409
yes, i admit, it was close match to the death, but in the end, I reigned supreme.
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I applaud your bravery. I've fought many a battle with our house centipedes and even though I have always emerged victorious I always fear the day that my can of compressed air runs dry. I know they secretly plot against me in my sleep, waiting for the perfect time to strike when I am unarmed. I know that day will come soon but I still carry on the good fight.

Sleep well my friend for you have emerged from your battle victorious and they will sing tales of your courage for generations to come.
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Man i'm sorry, but house centipedes are nothing like ants. House Centipedes are the devil incarnate. They can move at like 300mph and they are just hideous.

God they're hideous.

AND I KNOW they were plotting against me in my old apartment..many days I'd wake up and there would be one, 2 feet away from me, about a foot up from where my bed was against the wall...just sitting there..looking at me...waiting...plotting...
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oh yes centipedes they are disgusting, poisonous too. where i used to live there were a lot of these. one time a small one fell in the bathtub while i was taking a bath... didn't touch me but scared the crap out of me i wa slike 10 or something at the time.

and the bigger ones are absolutely nasty. once i saw one in a park that had greenish shiny body and red claws... omg
 
Hah, your bard's tale is nothing. Just this morning I wiped out a line of over one hundred ants with my can of instant death - Raid Ant and Bug Killer.



Hundreds of ants - that's what you get for leaving the pizza box on the counter over night. 😛
 
Originally posted by: xEDIT409
i was sitting on my computer listening to some music, and out of the corner of my eye i saw an ant. he was quite big, a real fighter. anyway i knew he had to go down, less he colonize in my house. i didn't want to touch him, and he looked fiesty. the closest thing was a pen, so i thrust my weapon down on him. it struck and crushed his backside.

the ant was a fighter, though. he started running around rampant. he was going too fast for me to successfully connect with a second shot. he made a turn and charged strait for me, going under my computer. before i could react, he jumped right off the desk on to my lap.

at this point i flipped out and jumped out of my seat. i brushed him off of my pants and he landed on the ground. at this point he stopped running wildly and begin wandering away.

it was clear to me that i could not let this go, and keep my pride. it would either be him or me, in a fight to the death. so, pen in hand, i thrust a mighty blow down upon him. the fat end of the pen crushed his exoskeleton, and the day was won.

after brushing the ant's corpse under my desk, i just felt so relieved i thought i'd tell you all of my adventurous endeavor. another battle fought, and another victory won.
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Wow. That makes you almost brave enough to kill a fly or a bee now, huh?

I mean, I think the ant is the winner here, and here is why:

The guys got this weapon that probably weighs 500-5000x as much as the ant, and is that much bigger, also.

The ant was unarmed and surprised.

Still, when the ant attacked (already mortally wounded) you jumped up, and i could hear your little girl scream from here.)

The ant fought valiantly, it wins on the honor count.

 
That was a pretty funny story. 🙂 I gave you a 10 as well.... And I just discovered this "Quick Reply" feature.
 
Dude, what's with brushing a dead ant under your desk? Ever heard of a TOILET for things like that!?!
 
I've got a good one too.

I was just out working in the yard pulling weeds. I have this flower garden in my back yard that is comprised of decorative blocks which form an oval shape. I was pulling weeds out between the rocks and felt something on my hand... One of them big black suckas.

So I tracked his little ass back and found the enemy base. There were about 20-40 crawling around the entrance to the base, which was located between two of those blocks.

I wanted to infiltrate the base but since I'm 6 foot tall and couldn't fit inside the 1mm high caverns, I decided to lift up the blocks acting as their shelter.

I found a ant nest. A pretty big one too.

I pwned them pissants with over a liter of Ortho bug killer.

I pulled the adjoining block and found more of the nest, and with some careful excavation, I believe I found the queen. Circled by hundreds of little white egg things, she was about 2cm long and a kinda pinkish brown color with a big ass on her.

I owned her outright with my boot. Goomba!

I continued to spray for about 3 minutes, and satisfied with my genocidal behavior, placed the blocks back where they belong, went inside and had a beer.

 
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