I just broke up with my girlfriend. I feel terrible.

[Red Dawn]

<< Do you ignore a pain in your hand? Of course not. Then why would you ignore that pain in your heart? >>Because the "heart" is irrational >>

Well isn't love sometimes irrational?

I've been in his shoes and regretted not trusting my heart. To me the answer is clear and simple. If he's hurting over this then he really doesn't want to break up. Maybe the fear of being in a relationship was the deciding factor for him to breakup with her. It might not even be a conscious fear, just something that was eating at him, causing him doubt and confusion. Being unaccustomed to this feeling he naturally thought it was bad. Of course, in reality, it is just a different feeling, one that he's never felt before and is not necessarily bad.

BTW, there is a great benefit in making up. Makeup Sex. It?s usually some of the best as it is not only physical but highly emotional too.

 

[gopunk]

i think apathy and bitterness would be a good way to define our generation

i think it's the world's answer to the hippie generation. we're a punk generation!

 

[datalink7]

<< i think apathy and bitterness would be a good way to define our generation

i think it's the world's answer to the hippie generation. we're a punk generation! >>



Great fun for us then :disgust::frown:

 

[pulse8]

<< If he's hurting over this then he really doesn't want to break up. >>

That is not true at all. You can hurt over a break up and have it still be the best thing for you in the long run. It only hurts because you're losing a large part of your life and someone who you cared about.

Just because you care for, or even love, someone it doesn't make them the right person for you. There's more to being in a relationship than love. If they were arguing as much as he makes it out to be, they may have just been incompatible. It doesn't make him care for her any less, it may just be that their personalities clash. I think it's huge problem and a big reason a lot of people divorce. They feel as long as they love the person, everything will be alright. It doesn't work that way.

If he can't accept the faults of the relationship and the girl, then they are both better off without each other. It's his first relationship and I'm sure it won't be his last. He'll eventually get over her and learn that breaking up isn't the end of the world. It happens every day to a lot of people. They only went out for 5 months. It's not really that big a deal. People have survived worse and he will, too.

Sometimes you have to think with your head as well as your heart and figure out what's best for you. It isn't always what your heart thinks. This isn't the movies.

P.S. As for make up sex. You're right about that.

 

[AreaCode707]

Well said, pulse8.

 

[weezergirl]

<< Maybe the fear of being in a relationship was the deciding factor for him to breakup with her. >>



actually it was because she had small breasts.

ok, that was mean. but that comment just stuck out in my head when u were listing the things wrong with her. I seriously think what you did was right. First off, from your original post she seems emotionally unhealthy. u should never get in a relationship with somebody like that until they themselves get their life in order. It will only be harder on you. Also, you commented about how she can't take criticism. after reading your original post I find you very critical, u comment her height and weight and go on to say she's not fat (but not skinny). hello! 6 ft and 140lbs. sorry but teh average guy doesn't expect his gf to be model waifish skinny to be called skinny. and of course the breast comment. perhaps u are overly critical and she has every right to feel the way she does.

conclusion: u said she has a habit of being with creeps....makes ya think huh?

 

[LakerGod]

<< BTW, there is a great benefit in making up. Makeup Sex. It?s usually some of the best as it is not only physical but highly emotional too. >>




LOL...that's a great point. Maybe you should give it one more chance. Either way, good luck.

 

[Red Dawn]

So maybe I'm wrong. This is ATOT, not the Love connection!

Consider this, you can always break it off again. On the other hand, if she get's over you and you find that you haven't gotten over her it's really going to hurt when you see her out with some other swinging dick instead of being with you.




<< : u said she has a habit of being with creeps....makes ya think huh? >>

Ah sharp Knife (or in this case tongue) draws blood!

 

[bizmark]

I feel for ya Stefan. It hurts doesn't it? I think that breaking up with a person is almost harder than being broken up with (unless you're an uncaring bastard), because you hurt someone that you care about, and you feel their pain and it causes you pain, so your pain is doubled.

Although it's not possible right now, I would advise you to try to not feel too bad. Things like this have their way of working themselves out As long as you didn't totally cut yourself off from her, and as long as you didn't lie when you broke up with her and told her all of your reasons and were sincere about everything, maybe she'll understand and maybe things will change.

baffled: aww, don't cry. That made me tear up to hear (read) you say (write) that. Although we may be cynical and bitter on the outside, we're just hiding the fact that we're really searching for something that's genuinely good and true. Don't count all of us out yet.

Wow, I'm a n00b but to hear Red Dawn wax emotional is quite touching.



I'm not religious, but I'm sending out a big happy thought to you all.

 

[Geekbabe]

<< I feel for ya Stefan. It hurts doesn't it? I think that breaking up with a person is almost harder than being broken up with (unless you're an uncaring bastard), because you hurt someone that you care about, and you feel their pain and it causes you pain, so your pain is doubled.

Although it's not possible right now, I would advise you to try to not feel too bad. Things like this have their way of working themselves out As long as you didn't totally cut yourself off from her, and as long as you didn't lie when you broke up with her and told her all of your reasons and were sincere about everything, maybe she'll understand and maybe things will change.

baffled: aww, don't cry. That made me tear up to hear (read) you say (write) that. Although we may be cynical and bitter on the outside, we're just hiding the fact that we're really searching for something that's genuinely good and true. Don't count all of us out yet.

Wow, I'm a n00b but to hear Red Dawn wax emotional is quite touching.



I'm not religious, but I'm sending out a big happy thought to you all. >>




lol, don't worry about it, I'm just a sentimental old lady who wants all of you to get the best out of life and that includes the magic otherwise known as love !


I wish all of you full hearts



<-- now too stirred up to sleep for some reason

 

[datalink7]

<< Although we may be cynical and bitter on the outside, we're just hiding the fact that we're really searching for something that's genuinely good and true. >>



Yah, this is true. There is still some hope left inside. I still get out of bed each morning, after all (though some times I do ask myself why).

 

[pyonir]

<< Yah, this is true. There is still some hope left inside. I still get out of bed each morning, after all (though some times I do ask myself why). >>


couldn't agree more. i think with me it is more stubbornness than anything...

 

[gopunk]

<<

<< Although we may be cynical and bitter on the outside, we're just hiding the fact that we're really searching for something that's genuinely good and true. >>



Yah, this is true. There is still some hope left inside. I still get out of bed each morning, after all (though some times I do ask myself why). >>




of course there is hope left... we're not against the idea of love. it's just that we can see the mistakes that happen over and over again, and learn from those mistakes. somebody mentioned earlier that we're too young to be jaded... if you think about it... it just means we learn faster

 

[Orsorum]

I'll pray for her... that's hard, dude.

 

[Orsorum]

<< don't cry, baffled... *tugs at sleeve* >>



For some reason... that made me really sad and really happy at the same time...

 

[Orsorum]

<<

<< Although we may be cynical and bitter on the outside, we're just hiding the fact that we're really searching for something that's genuinely good and true. >>



Yah, this is true. There is still some hope left inside. I still get out of bed each morning, after all (though some times I do ask myself why). >>



I never ask why. There are moments where I question our generation... then I think back to the children I met in inner-city LA (on a church mission trip), to the kids I've met at my old churchs' VBS'... and I remember what it feels like to be looked, full on in the eyes, and told that you're loved... that you mean something to someone... that you're looked up to and admired, simply for being the person God made you to be...

And I lose all doubt.

 

[bizmark]

<< <-- now too stirred up to sleep for some reason >>



Hey... I know I turn you on. There's no need for you to hide it.

Sorry to break the tone of a nice, touchy-feely thread, but hey.... I couldn't resist making it a bit more touchy-feely... :Q