I Have To Discuss SEX... With My Teenager!

[ThePresence]

You know your kid alot better than anyone else on here. You know how responsible (or not )he is. Give the talk that is appropriate for him. I don't believe there is one rule to follow, every kid is different.

EDIT: I'm not yet married, nor do I have any children, but this is the way I'd do it. I'd prolly be all casual and start discussing drinking or drugs. Lead the conversation where you want it to go.

 

[TommyVercetti]

Reminds me of the time when my bro told me about sex. I was 10, he was 13. I didn't believe a word he was saying. How could someone possibly live if you "insert" something in them. I just called BS.

 

[chiwawa626]

Originally posted by: TommyVercetti
Reminds me of the time when my bro told me about sex. I was 10, he was 13. I didn't believe a word he was saying. How could someone possibly live if you "insert" something in them. I just called BS.

I still call bs.

 

[SuperGroove]

I'm 19 years old. My parents have never had the birds and the bees talk with me.


I found my dad's porno tape at about the time I found the internet. Coupled with the vast power of the internet, and my dad's porno tape, I need not know anything more.

Except for me wanting to knwo if i'm good or not

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: LeRocks

Originally posted by: NeuroSynapsis
tell him if he has sex at this age hes' supporting terrorism

that would suck

Heh.. Definitely take the John Ashcroft / Pat Buchanan right-wing fascist-fundamentalist approach and tell him that it's all about abstinence or nothing. That'll work. Really.

 

[RealWarlock]

 

[RealWarlock]

What puzzle me is that fact that you waited until your child reach the 'teenager' age to talk about sex.

You should be talking about sex with your child when they are young. It is a LOT easier.

 

[Judgement]

Originally posted by: Ornery
My wife insists that I get this squared away. Ugh...

I'd rather just e-mail him a link or two, and perhaps give him a quiz afterward. Does that suck? He's a REALLY smart kid, so he probably knows everything he should already. Hate to take chances, though. Last thing anybody needs is a life long STD or worse, unwanted pregnancy! :Q

If you've been down this road with your kid(s), how did you handle it? If you're a kid, how would you want it handled? Is the link idea any good? Got any good links? What about a book, pamphlet or video?

If he is a teenager he probably already knows more then you're going to be comfortable talking to him about, not to mention you're starting late these days :disgust:

 

[CrazyDe1]

When my kids are around 8th grade I'll sit them down and be like if you ever have any questions about sex or need to know about anything come to me about it. I'm not gonna put you in that awkward situation but just know if you're ever curious or want to know about sex I'm here...

My parents never had the talk w/ me and I never wanted the talk from tehm

 

[Judgement]

Originally posted by: CrazyDe1
When my kids are around 8th grade I'll sit them down and be like if you ever have any questions about sex or need to know about anything come to me about it. I'm not gonna put you in that awkward situation but just know if you're ever curious or want to know about sex I'm here...

My parents never had the talk w/ me and I never wanted the talk from tehm

Me either, kids can find out all the information they need to know about sex itself without even trying to find out.

What you need to discuss is how to make it safe, and the potential consequences of not being safe.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

hmm...my dad never had a problem..he just said straight up...he even talked about fapping and how he caught me couple times...no biggie

 

[Ferrari355]

My dad never talked to me about it. I learned about it in middle school.

 

[BennyD]

when i was 17 i knew all about prettymuch everything

i was just waiting to put it into practise

 

[WyteWatt]

Originally posted by: EXman
You can tell him abstinence is perfectly ok that is the ONLY way %100 sure he wil not get into trouble...
I can't help it I'm a parent and have to do the same thing in about 10-12 years...

EXman btw good luck and have fun. This is one reason i don't want a kid right there though. If it seems like i am being mean about it sorry but in this world of today when you have kids you have to watch them like hawks 24/7 in my opinion. Parenting is a job that comes before your working job in my opinion too. I am sure you already know this already i am just saying thats all. Sorry if it sounded a little mean i just wanted to state my opinion of some of the reasons why i am not having a kid.

EXman abstinence is the best way though. Heck i am still a kid in my opinion. I think we always have a kid in us even as we get older. Heck look at me i am already talking like a parent and i am not even going to be one lol. I question my mom like i am her dad sometimes which is pretty ironic to me. I always tell her to not drink. Not even a single drop. Though i know most people drink just not to get drunk. She drinks not to get drunk like most people do. I just don't like it thats all. By the way i am only 19 and I don't do any of the crazy things that teens do. Why you may ask? What made me different? How was my parents even able to do that ? Well that didn't do it. I became my own super cop. Like i became my own strict person against myself to make sure i never ever drink (like wine or beer), not even a drop, that i don't ever have sex (And i mean never thats a 100% promise to myself), never smoke, never do any kind of drugs, never go to a wild party, never become bad, etc. No one made me do this or become this way. I chose it for myself. My parents i guess you could say are sorta lucky because they don't have to worry about me having a kid, getting a STD, etc. I am not saying i am a angel because none of us are perfect. I am just saying i was easy to deal with when it came to that kind of stuff. Sense i have great self-control.

 

[yellowperil]

Nowadays I don't think the Talk is necessary. I never got it - my dad is the stoical type who never discusses personal issues, and my mom tried the Talk a few times and it just didn't work (including pulling out the Bible and teaching me about Onan and "self-abuse as a sin" ). Nowadays teens are more savvy than that though. By middle school they pretty much have all the vocabulary down and in high school they learn first-hand. At 17 (junior in high school, I'm guessing) discussing the birds and the bees is going to be embarrassing for him. He's gonna think you're irrelevant when it comes to talking about sex. Chances are good he was fed all the facts in 5th grade or middle school. IMO the only thing you can do is tell him you trust his judgment to do the right thing.

 

[WyteWatt]

EXman almost remember with today teens or society, which i know i am part but it doesn't mean i have to be like them which i am not, take sex way to casually. I know how some people think and this is very true. If you heard some of the things i heard at school you would be scared half to death of some of this generation too. Its going to be a ongoing cycle too. I can't imagine what the next generation of there offspring will be like. Remember people i only said some so please don't think i am saying everyone. Its just going to be a scary world thats all i got to say.

 

[WyteWatt]

Originally posted by: kevin000

Originally posted by: Ornery
Up till now, his girlfriends have been long distance, and they rarely got together. This next weekend will be different...

So naive. You might be 4 year late, it gets younger and younger each year. You don't have to be too direct, just be casual and vague if it helps you. Tell him to protect himself both physically and mentally. Then try to convince him the easist girl, although very tempting, could cause a lifetime of regret. He should know what you mean...

kevin000 you said the magic words which is the scary thing. How low will it get you know? I don't even want to know to be quite honest.

 

[WyteWatt]

Originally posted by: PHiuR
damn.. oral herpes... can u get that from kissing someone who has it? (they dont know that they have it)

answer this! i want to know!


edit: found the answer... if someone has oral herpes and kisses you. U CAN get it too!

PHiuR yep and thank god i never kissed anyone! So i don't have it ! Now i know why i am the way i am.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: SuperGroove
I'm 19 years old. My parents have never had the birds and the bees talk with me.


I found my dad's porno tape at about the time I found the internet.

Me too..well not the Internet since it was back in the 80's but that's how i figured out how everything worked. A nice straight up meat and potatos porno is the best tool for sex ed. Most 17 year olds have seen several hundred of these so this issue has already taken care of itself.

 

[WyteWatt]

Originally posted by: chiwawa626
I dont even see why parents even need to have a sex talk with the kids. School pretty much takes care of informing them thru sex ed, its ultimatly up to them to remind themselves and take care.

chiwawa626 true. I never had the talk. If i did i don't remember. Thats exactly why i made sure i made myself a strict cop for myself! It pays off to have a good habit!

 

[Juniper]

I learned everything in school, and around 12yrs old. You'd be surprised by how much kids know at this age! My mom and dad always assumed I knew about sex and the dangers of it and would tell me to be careful and not to do things that I would regret.

 

[ndee]

Originally posted by: imtim83

Originally posted by: EXman
You can tell him abstinence is perfectly ok that is the ONLY way %100 sure he wil not get into trouble...
I can't help it I'm a parent and have to do the same thing in about 10-12 years...

EXman btw good luck and have fun. This is one reason i don't want a kid right there though. If it seems like i am being mean about it sorry but in this world of today when you have kids you have to watch them like hawks 24/7 in my opinion. Parenting is a job that comes before your working job in my opinion too. I am sure you already know this already i am just saying thats all. Sorry if it sounded a little mean i just wanted to state my opinion of some of the reasons why i am not having a kid.

EXman abstinence is the best way though. Heck i am still a kid in my opinion. I think we always have a kid in us even as we get older. Heck look at me i am already talking like a parent and i am not even going to be one lol. I question my mom like i am her dad sometimes which is pretty ironic to me. I always tell her to not drink. Not even a single drop. Though i know most people drink just not to get drunk. She drinks not to get drunk like most people do. I just don't like it thats all. By the way i am only 19 and I don't do any of the crazy things that teens do. Why you may ask? What made me different? How was my parents even able to do that ? Well that didn't do it. I became my own super cop. Like i became my own strict person against myself to make sure i never ever drink (like wine or beer), not even a drop, that i don't ever have sex (And i mean never thats a 100% promise to myself), never smoke, never do any kind of drugs, never go to a wild party, never become bad, etc. No one made me do this or become this way. I chose it for myself. My parents i guess you could say are sorta lucky because they don't have to worry about me having a kid, getting a STD, etc. I am not saying i am a angel because none of us are perfect. I am just saying i was easy to deal with when it came to that kind of stuff. Sense i have great self-control.

wow, you will have one boring life dude.

 

[WyteWatt]

At least i found out how bad it was and how it can tear up people's lifes. Plus that most people who get married in their 20s think that if it doesn't work out oh well they will just get divorced. They think if it as their trial marriage. Which is so sad. I mean thats the sadest thing. Whats next you know. Sad. Sad. Sad. Then how some people try to marry someone else and steal all their money from them. There is so many things i could list it would be endless.

 

[WyteWatt]

ndee actually its not boring and how would you even know? You haven't even tried it. At least i know I will be safe too. I rather be safe than sorry. I chose to defy human nature a long time ago and it is working haha!!!

 

[ndee]

Originally posted by: imtim83
ndee actually its not boring and how would you even know? You haven't even tried it. At least i know I will be safe too. I rather be safe than sorry. I chose to defy human nature a long time ago and it is working haha!!!

So what do you actually do, to have some fun? Only read books? Play with the computer(and of course not with yourself)?