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I have a situation with a girl... (con't... ladies, I need your help)

H

hpkeeper

Diamond Member
I'm continuing this thread from before... located Here

Anyways... Like I said in my previous thread, she wants to remain friends, knowing her as well as I do, I know how she behaves around her ex-boyfriends, which I now am. With her, either you are her current boyfriend and you get all the attention or you are an ex-boyfriend and she either

A. Doesn't talk to you, because she doesn't like you at all
---or---
B. Rarely sees you, and smiles and waves, maybe have a small conversation with you

But for the most part, there is no middle ground... but apparantly there is with me, I've taken over the roll of best guy friend, if not best friend flat out. Does she have some wild oats to be sewing or something? is that why she's hanging onto me? Is it because I'm around more than the rest of her ex-boyfriends because I go to school with her... is she nice to me because of that simple reason, just because I'm around? She's not mean by nature in any sort or form anyhow though...

The next portion to this whole scene is that I've talked to her this week and she said that she had seen some guy this past week, which kind of erked me because the reason we broke up was because she said that "I don't have time for myself with these courses at school I'm taking and sports and work, much less a boyfriend." and she comes back and tells me about this guy that she went out with. I tried not to act upset, even though I was, and it was a wonderfull job of acting on my part. Being that she told me about this guy, I decided to dig deeper and find out what she thought about him "so do you like this joe kid?" and before I could get the word "kid" out, she had already said "no, he's a d!ck." She said that "he wanted the relationship for one reason and one reason only..." as many guys often are. Then there are the nice guys like myself, who aren't like that... but we always finish last.

Aparantly this new guy also met her parents, and my ex told me about that as well. Her dad decided to have a talk with this kid about how to treat his daughter (I never recieved any talk... what was this talk about???), I'm assuming this talk consisted of the birds and the bee's thing... but I never got any talk from him. That was just the impression this kid gave her father... Now after he left, my ex's mother turned to my ex and said "I like Don (me) better." I've got the family backing me up, which is nice, but at the same time it kind of scares me... I don't want to become a family friend, I want my girlfriend back. I fear that I'm becoming Mayor of Friend City... and that's like one step closer to priesthood... which would suck even more.

Like I said before, is this trying out the field? Before me she was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years... do you think she could potentially be scared of getting into another serious relationship so quickly? I'm trying to look at this the most optimistic ways possible...
I'd like to hear from the ladies.



As promised in the last thread... I have pictures of her for you all. (forgive my poor photography, but you'll see at least one reason why I miss her)

Since I can't get the pictures to work... go here

The file names are:

jolandkelly.jpg
jolandma.jpg
jolonmybed.jpg

Feel free to look at the other ones if you like, nothing too important...
 
I'm working on it... and it's not the guys I'm looking to get the reply from, so it really wouldn't matter unless the majority of the females on this board are homosexual.
 


<< and it's not the guys I'm looking to get the reply from, so it really wouldn't matter unless the majority of the females on this board are homosexual. >>



Well, it's a proverbial needle in a haystack situation then.
 
I think geocities is down... I'll have to work on it later... right now I have class... I may have to bump this thread later.
 
theres nothing you can do at this point in time, except wait it out. please don't become the "best guy friend" you'll just be like a brother and we all know where that'll get you.
 
Look like you've become her bitch where she'll come to you when she have problems with other guys.
 
Did she say whether she is going out with that guy again? Btw, good move not reacting at all. Above all else, you should appear to be indifferent to who she goes out with. You should be working on getting something else though in the meantime in case it you guys don't get back together. Interesting though that the guy already met her parents. Just goes to show that being an a$$hole works. Good luck. 🙂
 
It seems to me like one of those situations where I would say "bide your time." It's cool that you have the parents backing AND that you two have gotten so close (as friends, which is the most important thing). I think there are lots of opportunities for this thing to go farther, but I wouldn't push it right now.

If she said she doesn't have time for a steady boyfriend, she was probably serious. However, you said she was in a steady relationship for two years before you. Yes, I DEFINATELY think that has something to do with it. She probably wants to be with you but just wants to be careful, not wanting to make the same mistake (be with a guy for a long time and then not have it work out). I'm in that same position right now.

Just bide your time. Odds are it'll work out. 😉

--Sarah
 
Sounds a little bit like you're being used - but I don't get a sense that she wants to be doing that to you. However, she is. I think she wants to explore around a little bit, not be tied down, but still have you as her return point. Note that I didn't say as a backup, because I think you're still her first pick, but as first pick you're going to be last called on, the moment she's done exploring. So it's your choice to make. So it's your choice. Do you want to hang on and suffer through the next few months of hearing about her expeditions and then have her come back or do you want to lay down the law and tell her you won't be used? The second option has two possible results - she says okay and lets you go, or she comes back. I think she'd let you go.
My recommendation is to stick around for a few months while she convinces herself that you're not tying her down and that there isn't a better guy out there. If she's worth it, that is. Meanwhile, continue to have your own life. Hang out with your friends and don't coming running at her every beck and call.
🙂
 
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