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I have a crush on this girl.. well sort of..

goofy2000

Member
I know a girl from my church..
She is more likea..an angle than a human.. 😉
She's really honest, kind to everyone, (even someone like me) and caring.
And, yes, she's pretty. She's got a very kind face. A sort of face you'd like to stare at for as long as you live..
She is modest and very down to earth and yet, very fragile and sophisticated. 🙂
Unfortunetly, I have no will to approach her, because I know that I'm kinda a loser.. I have nothing to offer.. I'm short and ugly.. and have no money or job. I got no social life, and I'm very stubborn. I have no passion or a goal. And ultimately I have no sense of humour.
I would only be a bad influence..
I know this by my experience..
I'll be happy if she meets a really great guy. (and at the same time, I'll be lil bit sad..) I wish I'm a better man than what I am. But I see no hope..

I just would like to ask a question.
Why god made person like me, and person like her..
Just to make me look bad.. that's why..
 
Well, first off, looking over all her good points, and all your bad points doesn't help. Get some self-confidence. Self-Confidence is the only feeling holding you back, it's the feeling that makes yourself feel like crap right now. If she is the girl you describe, time is running out before she is single. Smarten up, get some confidence(not too much) and ask her to a date or something!
You must be a cool guy, you're here on Anandtech 🙂

Good Luck!

Pid
 
Jeeze, I would think she would be an inspiration to you.

Why not rise to your highest potential, knowing that there is someone out there whom you would like to show your very best?

Why lament your failings?

If I were you, I would be looking to be the very best me I could be.

Just my .02
 
You are worth something, c'mon. Remember, if she doesn't feel the same way about you that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you at all. Means that she wasn't good enough FOR YOU!
 
dont get down... theres a legend that i witnessed first hand back when i was in h.s. this guy, ugliest guy you've ever seen. he would get ALL the girls. this is not a joke, this is true. im telling you this guy brought tears to my eyes from his bad looks. anyways, he always had the most beautiful girls around him (hes not gay either). all he had going for him was his personality, humor, and boldness to approach women. ive always believed that you can grow on others as they can grow on you. just be yourself and show her that you can treat her the way she would like to be treated. never underestimate the power of a compliment! showing low-self esteem is the worse thing to do. show her how shes makes you feel inside and itll be all good.

good luck bro!
 
No offense dude, but your post is really depressing. Build up some self confidence in yourself. If anything, look as it as motivation to change yourself for the better. It might look impossible to you but hey, you never know. Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll still be among the stars.

Trust me, firsthand experience here. 🙂
 
Almost all the things you list as negative about yourself, can be changed or viewed differently with a fresh perspective. Have you tried talking to your pastor/priest/whatever from your church? Perhaps they could be of some help.

This person who you admire so much is probably "being kind" to you because she likes you, not as a charity so don't be so hard on yourself.
 
Slightly OT:

is it more appropriate to go to dinner and a movie or a movie and dinner?

For some reason I think option 2 would be better so you could discuss the movie while eating. Isn't that the non-traditional one though?
 


<< She is more likea..an angle than a human >>



really? an angle? like obtuse or acute or right?
guess you'll need a really big protracter


okay all teasing aside here is my advice.
step one. take a shower/brush your teeth
okay no matter what anyone tells you smelling bad is a turnoff to all girls, trust me you may be a great person inside but if you smell bad it makes a bad first impression. you dont have to dress nice or even do your hair those are bounuses, just make sure you dont smell bad! (i know you probley dont smell when you go to church but someone else outthere maybe reading this does.)

step two. get involved
get in her line of vision: youth groups, sports, just sitting beside her.

step three. talk to her
okay hardest step, mutual friends help but yeah let her know that you want to be at least an aquaintance

step four. get to know her
most criticle step because here you find out that she probley isnt an angel (or angle whatever) or if you want to continuing persuing a friendship

then you can take it from there.

easier said than done, i know.

*kat. <-- knows you're probley a great guy (that doesnt need a shower) just a shy

ps everyone is equal, it just what you do with what cha got that matters.
 


<< Unfortunetly, I have no will to approach her, because I know that I'm kinda a loser.. I have nothing to offer.. I'm short and ugly.. and have no money or job. I got no social life, and I'm very stubborn. I have no passion or a goal. And ultimately I have no sense of humour. >>



You are your thoughts...change your thoughts and you will change who you are. ITS THAT SIMPLE!
ITS THAT SIMPLE!
ITS THAT SIMPLE!
ITS THAT SIMPLE!
ITS THAT SIMPLE!
ITS THAT SIMPLE!
ITS THAT SIMPLE!
ITS THAT SIMPLE!
 
ack...my 2 cents, don't get involved with a girl from church if that is the only relationship the 2 of you have. Too many complications can occur.

If you are friends outside of church- that's something totally different. If you are, and she isn't half your age, be a man and let her know how you honestly feel.
 
hey, my first relationship started from a girl i met in church, and things went good, till she joined another that convinced her to &quot;denounce&quot; my group, i still chat with her once in a great while, but she's just gone (kinda happy, it's left me room to meet new person) person i like now i met at church, but trust me, getting to know w girl has never been detrimental to my health, or any one i know of. unless her dad works for colt, and . . . nvr mind that, she wasn't from church and things fell bad really wuick with that one. church (if you're religious) is a good place to start. also goofy2000 turn on profile
 
I see that you are love, good for you!

Be cocky, be arrogant! Have confidence! Most of all never think of yourself as a loser! You are money, you are so money!

Don't deny yourself of happiness, approach her and don't let the chance slip you by, you will regret it!
 
Picking up chicks at church. Oh yeah!!!

I knew there was a reason I managed to sacrifice an hour of my time each week for 6 years (besides my parents made me do it).

Anyways, just think of it this way, you have something more to pray about.

🙂

Scrapster
 
Church girls can be a totally different person outside of the church. Sometimes that's good, sometimes it's bad... depending on the person. If she were as kind and gentle as you say, she'd have no problem being your friend and talking to you. If you actually started talking to her, she may grow a larger interest in you. If she doesn't, you've got a nice new friend to hook you up with other girls.
 
Dude, cheer up. Women worth dating care more about personality than looks. Why do you think Julia Roberts would marry Lyle Lovit?
 
self confidence.. that I don't have.. (maybe you've noticed that)

But, really.. Even in this forum, I'm not even a junior member after over a hundred post, and I think I lost my password on the forum...I don't know.
(That's why I'm using different nick)

and I know time is running out. I'm not even sure she's a single!
Doesn't matter really.. what if she's not.. where do I go from there?


<< your post is really depressing >>


I am depressed..

I think I'll get some phsychiatric treatment.. well.. at least after 2 month for a reason.. (I've been getting counselling.. but haven't helped)

Ask her for dating!!!!??? You know I can't do that. That would be like .. jumping out the window on 10th floor..

Is she an inspiration? well.. don't know... I rarely see her, even in church because I'm sort of inactive on.. activities. Ok, I admit.. my dad made me to go to the church.

And I never had a chance to have a real conversation with her until a few weeks ago.
I had this chance.. where she and I were left alone in a room (well.. sort of)
I tried to talk to her.. but I must've looked really 'trying hard'..
I tried not to look trying hard.. 😉 gees..
What if she thought &quot;why is this creep trying to talk to me, doesn't he know he doesn't stand a chance?'.. well.. she wouldn't think so, I know, because she's not like that at all.


<< Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll still be among the stars >>


wow, great phrase..


<< This person who you admire so much is probably &quot;being kind&quot; to you because she likes you, not as a charity >>


If that's true then, that's prolly because she has not yet discovered who I really am. 🙁


<< step one. take a shower/brush your teeth >>


ok.. but I don't smell.. I don't think.. 🙂


<< step two. get involved >>


I'm sort of anti-social person.. 🙁 bummer..
besides, I'm not even sure I'm a christian although I wish I was.. I know that's the only way I can see her.. and prolly one of the many ways that she can find out how uncool I am..


<< step three. talk to her >>


I kinda suck at talking to a girl.. I choke..
She will realise how pathetic I am the minute I open my mouth. I CAN'T TALK TO HER!! Can I send her an anonymous email instead? oh no.. what if she can track the source of the mail, and finds about me..


<< step four. get to know her >>


I know there are still too many good things on her I haven't found out yet, and I prolly won't..


<< easier said than done, i know. >>


I know that too.. 🙁


<< just a shy >>


I am...


<< change your thoughts and you will change who you are. ITS THAT SIMPLE! >>


How do I change my thoughts.. They control my actions..


<< don't get involved with a girl from church if that is the only relationship the 2 of you have. Too many complications can occur >>


I agree........ sigh..


<< Don't deny yourself of happiness >>


She will be unhappy if I be close to her. I feel like I have to deny mine for her.


<< you have something more to pray about >>


yeah...


<< Everybody feels just like you >>


Really?


<< Church girls can be a totally different person outside of the church >>


Yeah.. but she's different from other girls..


<< If you actually started talking to her >>


I should.. but she's always with someone.. Hard to see her alone, which means hard to approach her.. and what do I say to her.. We don't have much in common.
I can't say the usuals....like..
what's a girl like u doing in a place like this.. 🙂


<< remember the 4-F's of relationships with women >>


..? what's 4-F?


<< Women worth dating care more about personality >>


My personality is worse than I look.. 🙁






 
Dude believe me it isn't that bad. I used to feel exactly how you feel, but now I have a girlfriend and all is great. Granted I didn't meet her at church and it took me twenty-two years to finally get a girlfriend, but believe me one day you will get what you deserve. And it may not necessarily be exactly who you are wanting it to be but that person will be all that matters.
 
Really, but it is a deep secret. It explains everything if you have the eyes to see, and it is a lie, that's the part you need to think about. Feel how you got to feel the way you feel. You'll find you were put down and bought the lie. Notice the joy in being in every young mammal. That's your birthright, your central core.
 
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