I hate my cats

[rudeguy]

I have an older cat. She's fat and fluffy and lazy. Today I was eating some pizza and she decided to jump IN my pizza. Nice.

Then I go to plug my phone in because its almost dead (Android Power!). My younger cat at ANOTHER charger.

Sigh...

 

[zerocool84]

Maybe your cat is fat cus it eats pizza all day. Also if it's fat and lazy how would it climb up anywhere to get on pizza? Did you leave your pizza on the floor?

 

[rudeguy]

Maybe your cat is fat cus it eats pizza all day. Also if it's fat and lazy how would it climb up anywhere to get on pizza? Did you leave your pizza on the floor?

I'm still confused about the pizza part too. It was on my desk and she jumped from the floor into it.

Why would a cat just up and jump into pizza?

 

[Raduque]

Miscalculated? My cat is pretty bad at calculating where she's going to land, and ALWAYS lands on something. Like one time she landed on my desk, one single paw on my vibrant and sent it flying off the desk and, thankfully, onto my bed.

 

[IronWing]

I have to lock up one of our cats when I eat a pizza. He's is a former stray and seemed to have eaten a fair amount of pizza out of people's garbage.

 

[rudeguy]

Miscalculated? My cat is pretty bad at calculating where she's going to land, and ALWAYS lands on something. Like one time she landed on my desk, one single paw on my vibrator and sent it flying off the desk and, thankfully, onto my bed.

D:

 

[alevasseur14]

I have to have lids on all my garbage cans. My male cat always knocks them over and scatters garbage all over the apartment when I'm at work. I hate it.

 

[Newbian]

Then I go to plug my phone in because its almost dead (Android Power!). My younger cat at ANOTHER charger.

Sigh...

English?

 

[cKGunslinger]

English?

It's dangerous to go alone, take this -> "e"

 

[kyrax12]

Wow?!?!

Guys actually own cats as pets?

 

[rudeguy]

It's dangerous to go alone, take this -> "e"

thanks. My typing is getting worse the worse my wrists get. Its like some of the signals don't get sent or something?

And yes, guys do own cats. On a normal day I'm gone 12+ hours at a time. I don't have time to take care of a pup.

 

[Balt]

Then I go to plug my phone in because its almost dead (Android Power!). My younger cat at ANOTHER charger.

What?

 

[plumbob]

Sometimes it may seem very irritating, but think of those times your cats were there to comfort you and linger on your side so you'll touch them...Cats are so adorable when they never poof.

 

[Ruptga]

English?

The beast at Tanagra.

 

[Dankk]

Your cat ate a charger? Seriously? My cats are troublemakers, but even they aren't that bad.

Ah well. My cats have tipped over garbage cans, crapped on the floor, pissed on the couch, and I still love them. Of course, there are many things I've learned to do since I started owning cats (such as covering up the garbage cans) but it's the price you have to pay for having kitties.

 

[Perknose]

Then I go to plug my phone in because its almost dead (Android Power!). My younger cat at ANOTHER charger.

What?

While his younger cat was still being charged, his other, almost dead cat, named Android Power, somehow landed in pizza, which the OP strangely blames on his phone not being plugged in.

At least that's what I got out of it.

 

[sjwaste]

Hold on, is your cat orange and loves lasagna?

 

[rudeguy]

Hold on, is your cat orange and loves lasagna?

close

Black and white and loves any kind of human food. Her name used to be Blossom (after the Power Puff Girl) but I renamed her Awesome.

 

[D1gger]

Time to take that bucket of cats down to the river and practice your fastball.

 

[DVad3r]

I hate cats too. The best cat is the kind that runs inside the closet and hides the moment I enter the door.

 

[ArJuN]

close

Black and white and loves any kind of human food. Her name used to be Blossom (after the Power Puff Girl) but I renamed her Awesome.

Lol. Best thing I've heard today.

 

[child of wonder]

After going to the nearby lake and seeing that the beach is basically a big litter box I am convinced there should be a wild cat hunting season just like there is a pheasant and deer hunting season. If the cat doesn't have a collar on it is fair game.

Then, after a grueling day hunting feral felines, I shall retire to my study and relax by the fireplace with a cigar and glass of scotch as I admire my many trophies of mounted cat heads on the wall.

Ahh... Snuggles. I tracked you for two days. My most prized kill.

Peaches. You were a fighter.

Princess Fluffy. It took three shots to bring you down. What a fighter!

 

[IronWing]

After going to the nearby lake and seeing that the beach is basically a big litter box I am convinced there should be a wild cat hunting season just like there is a pheasant and deer hunting season. If the cat doesn't have a collar on it is fair game.

Then, after a grueling day hunting feral felines, I shall retire to my study and relax by the fireplace with a cigar and glass of scotch as I admire my many trophies of mounted cat heads on the wall.

Ahh... Snuggles. I tracked you for two days. My most prized kill.

Peaches. You were a fighter.

Princess Fluffy. It took three shots too bring you down. What a fighter!

You're putting too much effort into it.

 

[KIAman]

I hate cats but wife loves them.

Our compromise: Cat's live in the garage and only allowed to (rarely) come inside the home under strict supervision. I turn our 3rd garage spot into the most awesome cat sanctuary with A/C and cat structures and a huge litter box.

 

[edro]

My cats killed a rabbit and hid it in our basement.
We found it after it had been rotting for a few weeks.

Yay cats.