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I hate living in a small, southern town on Sundays...

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Yeah... your city is NOT small. At all.

Try this on for small:

Bremen, Ohio
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bremen%2C_Ohio
Total population: 1265
Area size: 0.8 mi²

Junction City, Ohio
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junction_City%2C_Ohio
Total population: 818
Area size: 0.6 mi²

Logan, Ohio
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logan%2C_Ohio
Total population: 6704
Area size: 3.1 mi²

Those are the three cities nearest me. A bit farther away is:

Lancaster, Ohio
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lancaster%2C_Ohio
Total population: 35335
Area size: 18.1 mi²
(comparable to the size of Panama City)

Next in line:

Columbus, Ohio
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbus%2C_Ohio
Total population: 711470
Area size: 212.6 mi²
 
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