I hate it so much when....

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Ben90

Platinum Member
Jun 14, 2009
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I fucking hate it so much when you go to pee and the stream shoots in two different directions and it hits your leg.
 
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MikeMike

Lifer
Feb 6, 2000
45,885
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um... next time after you jerk off, clean the tip off, and you wont have the tip sticking together...
 
ahenkel

ahenkel

Diamond Member
Jan 11, 2009
5,357
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You need to develop a more powerful pee stream so you can blast out whatever is clogging your tip.. Since you can't seem to wash well enough.
 
Dumac

Dumac

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2005
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What?

I mean, I've had pee split into two streams, but the angle between the streams is usually quite small. Small enough that I can land both streams safely in the toilet.

Having one stream hit my leg?? Crazy talk.
 
TridenT

TridenT

Lifer
Sep 4, 2006
16,800
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Dumac said:
What?

I mean, I've had pee split into two streams, but the angle between the streams is usually quite small. Small enough that I can land both streams safely in the toilet.

Having one stream hit my leg?? Crazy talk.
Click to expand...

I've had it blast out onto walls and shit.

I was once at a friends place and I went to the bathroom... as soon as I started to pee, one solid stream just flew a completely different direction than where I was pointing(the toilet) and just plastered their wall in piss. I was like, "WTF IS THIS SHIT?!?!!" You have no idea how hard it was to stop pissing in that sheer moment of terror. Needless to say... I cleaned up the place after I was done. :eek:
 
Dumac

Dumac

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2005
9,391
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TridenT said:
I've had it blast out onto walls and shit.

I was once at a friends place and I went to the bathroom... as soon as I started to pee, one solid stream just flew a completely different direction than where I was pointing(the toilet) and just plastered their wall in piss. I was like, "WTF IS THIS SHIT?!?!!" You have no idea how hard it was to stop pissing in that sheer moment of terror. Needless to say... I cleaned up the place after I was done. :eek:
Click to expand...

Do you not clean your penis or something?

Or is this related to circumcision?

I've peed a lot in my life, but have never come across issues like this.
 
TridenT

TridenT

Lifer
Sep 4, 2006
16,800
45
91
Dumac said:
Do you not clean your penis or something?

Or is this related to circumcision?

I've peed a lot in my life, but have never come across issues like this.
Click to expand...

Uh, I clean it enough...

I'm circumcised...

Yeah, it doesn't happen often to say the least... It's a very infrequent occurrence...
 
Dumac

Dumac

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2005
9,391
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TridenT said:
Uh, I clean it enough...

I'm circumcised...

Yeah, it doesn't happen often to say the least... It's a very infrequent occurrence...
Click to expand...

What does enough mean?

At least every day, right, if not more?
 
Dumac

Dumac

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2005
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TridenT said:
What am I cleaning it from again....? My dick doesn't get dirty and neither do my balls...
Click to expand...

Keep telling yourself that.

But man, I'm not the one who has urination problems and pees everywhere due to an obstructed urethral opening.
 
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MAKENITO

Diamond Member
Aug 21, 2009
3,766
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:horror:

I hate it when you desperately need to pee at 3am, and there is no toilet paper.
 
yhelothar

yhelothar

Lifer
Dec 11, 2002
18,409
40
91
<- turtleneck here
I used to get this all the time until I learned to let the turtle out before doing the deed. I haven't pissed myself since.
 
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Ben90

Platinum Member
Jun 14, 2009
2,866
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Well I'm no turtleneck, Ive decided the second post hit the nail on the head (heh, on the head)
 
E

eLiu

Diamond Member
Jun 4, 2001
6,407
1
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TridenT said:
I've had it blast out onto walls and shit.

I was once at a friends place and I went to the bathroom... as soon as I started to pee, one solid stream just flew a completely different direction than where I was pointing(the toilet) and just plastered their wall in piss. I was like, "WTF IS THIS SHIT?!?!!" You have no idea how hard it was to stop pissing in that sheer moment of terror. Needless to say... I cleaned up the place after I was done. :eek:
Click to expand...

Before entering this thread, I had a feeling that TridenT would be saying "oh yeah that's happened to me."

I am not disappoint.

OP: clench up your equivalent of the PC muscle (imagine that you have to pee really bad & you're holding it in--the muscle that allows you to hold it), then forcefully switch to pushing w/that same muscle (motion you use to force poo out). I can't imagine that you'd have this split-stream issue if you start the peeing process at higher pressure.

And when you're done, clench up again and you should be able to halt the stream w/minimal drip.

If you can't do it, then go do some kegel exercises. Your sex life will thank me later.
 
yhelothar

yhelothar

Lifer
Dec 11, 2002
18,409
40
91
MAKENITO said:
:horror:

I hate it when you desperately need to pee at 3am, and there is no toilet paper.
Click to expand...

Can't girls do a clam clentch and shake as a decent alternative until they get the TP? I can't imagine it leaving the underpants more wet than a guy doing the squeeze and shake after a good golden hosing.

/looking for the corresponding rage comic.
 
coldmeat

coldmeat

Diamond Member
Jul 10, 2007
9,234
142
106
This happens to me occasionally. Maybe once every few months. Sucks, but I can cut off the stream pretty quickly. I'm not sure what causes it, but I think it usually happens after waking up.
 
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