I got problems with my parents :(

[novalogic88]

How do i start, i mean im 17, typical teenager if you know what i mean, not as typical as those typical skateboarders, plus im in australia so its a little diffrent than the US.

ummmm, my parents, they'll just come into my room without knocking which is really really annoying, sometimes they just stare at me for no reason, and im like doing homework or something, im like FFS, go and do something, they are employed though.

second, my parents will ask me are u cold, and its like summer and my fan is turned on blowing on my face, and ill go, no, and they go, really?, and i go, YES, jesus christ, doesnt include jesus christ, but you know what i mean.

third, my parents will ask a lot of things, like hey what did you learn today (IM NOT IN KINDERGARDEN ANYMORE), and i go yeah, lots of things.

and when my friends comes over my parents will go, hey is my son good at school, and ask all sorts of stupid questions, and freak my friends out.

and last time i went to a LAn party, my dad just went completely mad, YOU CANT JUST PLAY GAMES FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE, you must learn harder, but i have finished all my homework, and actually got a 3rd in the maths test, 35/46, best in my class was 41/46 then followed by my friend which was 38/46.

i mean im really sick of this not knocking on door sh1t, i could be doing something private, actualy on MSN talking, and i dont have anyone on MSN who are not from my school, and my parents will go " who are u talking to", im like, friends from school, and they'll just do something like use my phone in my room, which is totally unnessasry coz we have other phones in other rooms.

Its like they ask sh1tloads of unessasary questions which really bugs me, and i like to be alone at home, i mean i dont have much to talk about with my parents.

cant wait to move out till i finish high school, in australia its year 7- year 12. then i'll go to uni by my self.


question: what should i do to make them normal, i mean my friends parents dont even bugs them at all, they have something in common which is computer games, and my parents hates computer games. and my parents like arts and classical music which i really dont like.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

<< Its like they ask sh1tloads of unessasary questions which really bugs me, and i like to be alone at home, i mean i dont have much to talk about with my parents. >>

you'll grow up, dont worry about it. they arent abnormal, all parents do that. only thing that i didnt like was the walking in your room without knocking. they shouldnt do that. everything else is fine hell, im in my 20's and now i like telling my folks what i learned it'll get better, sounds like normal stuff to me.

 

[VirusDub]

I had the EXACT same things happen to me last year. The best thing to do is just talk to your parents about it. They don't know it's a problem unless you tell them.

 

[MrDingleDangle]

thats what parents do

mine mother still calls me up to make sure everything is ok even if i tell her it is...and im 23 now..

my father wouldnt let me leave the dinner table till i told him somehting i did at school

its just the way they are.... i always got ?'s from other peoples parents about school and stuff...one of my friends parents would go through their stuff

sometimes parents can be annoying...but just be glad you have them...a lot of people dont

 

[Keego]

I bet they'd knock if they found you playing pocket pool more often

 

[DuffmanOhYeah]

Ummm, I really don't know if there is anything you can do to make them "normal" They actually sound a bit like my parents were. And as far as them going into your room. Man, if that is the least they do, feel lucky. Mine went through my drawers once and found some ummm "pics" of my gf if you know what I mean. Got balled out like crazy for that one. (oh, and by the way, to everyone who is wondering.....NOT A CHANCE!!! ) They also tried to be concerned with how I was doing in school, and made me work hard. Typical parent thing I think. Just try to deal for a little longer, if you really want to, you will be outta there soon enough. Plus, think of all that your parents have provided you with over all these years, food, clothing, room, etc. Just putting up with their grief for a little while should be worth it. Good luck with it.

 

[BlackSoul]

Damn, you really have it rough

About the door thing, yes, it is rude, but it is thier house and the can do as they please.

Heaven forbid if they are interested in your schoolwork.

Sounds like average parents to me, maybe a little stiffiling, but they could not give a sh1t at all. Would that make you happy?

Did you ever try *gasp* talking to them about it?

 

[novalogic88]

its the thing, my parents arent normal, trying to talk to them and telling them what to do is gonna make it worse

 

[Static911]

Sounds common enough in our household and more

1) Mail is inspected by mom, CC bills, Phone bills, xyz bills

2) Phone is monitored (The usual 10 questions after hanging up the phone...who, why, when, because, why, who, who, who, who, who)

On a more personal note, I used to love hanging out with my cousin's house (father's side). I mean, he had all the perks...got SNES when it first came out, pool table, swimming pool, tennis court, basketball court, huge entertainment center and most of all, not so many restrictions (he does well in school too).

Well, every other weekend my father would go over to strategize with his sister (also coowner of the business). Well, naturally, I want to go there too cuz its the hangout place for all our cousins. Naturally, every time I wanted to go, my parents, mostly my mom, would say, "Do you expect to have fun all your life? Did you finish your homework? If so, read the encyclopedia? (After reading it, she would say I was wasting my time...catch 22 situation)"

Unfortuantely, (I do take personal responsibilty for my actions!), now my parents want me to become closer to my cousins and I seem to not want to. Everytime we go over to their house, I just choose to stay at home and "nef on AT" or do my own things.

I did try to talk to them about this during the situation. Of course, their typical response, "we are doing what is good for you." edit: or they would respond, "playing too much is bad (I have written extensive posts on bad HS experience on AT); studying is good; doing nothing is bad; get this, socializing is bad (no-joke!).

Now, my parents try to bring it up (on why I don't want to hang out with my cousins), I respond, "Had a chance, I don't feel like hanging out now."

Sorry for ranting, had to get it out of my system

edit2!: furthermore, Since I didn't have much friends in HS cuz frankly, my parents wouldn't let me have friends (like they always say, you can't trust anyone and everyone is out to get you!...um...yeah!), my brother will bring friends home and my father will be LECTURING THEM! I kid you not, imagine going to someone's house and having your friend's father lecture on good and evil in society. I'm sure the kids hear this crap enough at home, but my father, many times, on a power trip....

edit3: suggestion? Life is hard. Life is unfair. HOPEFULLY, this is only temp. For me, my parents really don't care anymore of what I do (not even grades, what I do) because I have proven my TRUST (no, I didn't do anything stupid, but my parents take this "trust" thing a tad bit extreme)... Of course, from my teachings, I still try my best to do good and study hard. I guess their "brutal tactics" of teachings did work on me

static911

 

[Static911]

edit 4: Hope all goes well for you


*oops, I started a new post instead of editing my previous one!*


static911

 

[Mday]

my mom cleaned my room last week, WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL.

I AM 21 YEARS OLD AND IS LIKE 3 MONTHS FROM BEING 22.

so i got mad, broke 2 chairs, and locked her out of the apartment.

 

[Static911]

you WHAT?

edit: I would never mind my mom cleaning "my" apartment.

static911

 

[DuffmanOhYeah]

<< my mom cleaned my room last week, WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL.

I AM 21 YEARS OLD AND IS LIKE 3 MONTHS FROM BEING 22.

so i got mad, broke 2 chairs, and locked her out of the apartment. >>


:Q

 

[MrDingleDangle]

<< my mom cleaned my room last week, WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL.

I AM 21 YEARS OLD AND IS LIKE 3 MONTHS FROM BEING 22.

so i got mad, broke 2 chairs, and locked her out of the apartment. >>



damn i wish my mom cleaned my room...she just laughs at the filth i live in

 

[Juniper]

I'd say that's pretty normal behaviour of parents. I'd rather have that, than get beaten or thrown out of the house

 

[linuxboy]

ahem. you call those problems? Some people I know would be happy to have your "problems". Life ain't easy, son and appreciate your parents since they're the only ones you have. Show some maturity and responsibility and they'll back off.


Cheers !

 

[ericb]

I would be happy to have anyone clean for me.

 

[yobarman]

You going to college soon...they might be getting worried about you leaving the house, yikes!



BTW Hey man it's cool if anyone wants to clean your room...let nature take it's course!



<< oh, and by the way, to everyone who is wondering.....THERE IS A CHANCE!!! >>

Tell me, what do i have to do to see these pics?!

 

[ShadowHunter]

WAAAAH WAAAAAH

Your life is SOOOO hard. Get over it. You HAVE parents that love you enough to do those things, so STFU.

 

[rahvin]

<<ummmm, my parents, they'll just come into my room without knocking which is really really annoying>>

It's their house, be glad you don't have to knock to be let in. If you start paying rent then you can expect privacy otherwise deal with the fact that you don't.

<<second, my parents will ask me are u cold, and its like summer and my fan is turned on blowing on my face, and ill go, no, and they go, really?, and i go, YES, jesus christ, doesnt include jesus christ, but you know what i mean.>>

Everyone has different thermostats, don't assume anything in life boy.

<<third, my parents will ask a lot of things, like hey what did you learn today (IM NOT IN KINDERGARDEN ANYMORE), and i go yeah, lots of things.>>

Your parents are interested in being involved in your life, their trust of you would increase if you actually DID involve them. Them asking questions of you is a good thing!

<<and when my friends comes over my parents will go, hey is my son good at school, and ask all sorts of stupid questions, and freak my friends out.>>

They are attempting to get information from anouther source, you aren't providing information so they are justified in finding another. Try talking to them.

<<and last time i went to a LAn party, my dad just went completely mad, YOU CANT JUST PLAY GAMES FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE, you must learn harder, but i have finished all my homework, and actually got a 3rd in the maths test, 35/46, best in my class was 41/46 then followed by my friend which was 38/46.>>

Why were't you first on the math test? Did you tell your parents any of this? Do your parents have a clue how well you do in school? Could you try harder? Try talking to your parents sensibly.

<<i mean im really sick of this not knocking on door sh1t, i could be doing something private, actualy on MSN talking, and i dont have anyone on MSN who are not from my school, and my parents will go " who are u talking to", im like, friends from school, and they'll just do something like use my phone in my room, which is totally unnessasry coz we have other phones in other rooms.>>

They are trying to make sure you aren't a drug dealer or some other sh!t. You don't talk to your parents so they assume the worst. The things you are experiencing are a result of your inability to communicate with your parents.

<<Its like they ask sh1tloads of unessasary questions which really bugs me, and i like to be alone at home, i mean i dont have much to talk about with my parents.>>

Those questions are never uncecessary, they are trying to keep track of who you are becoming and since you don't tell them they have to snoop on their own.

Just remember some day you will be just like your parents and everything you did to them your kids will visit back on you 10x worse.

 

[Theslowone]

It just sounds like they are caring for you; some people do not know how to show how they fell so they do an awkward job at it. Maybe they want to spend more time with you, or want you to involve them.

Your parents have been the most influential people in your life for a majority of your life, and now you are slowly cutting them off. It is not your fault, it is growing up. Knocking on the door would be nice, but the rest of the actions seem like normal concerning parents.

My parents split up when I was one, but my mom still does some of the same things that you talk about when I go home. They just need to feel like they are in control, give them a little and they may ease up.

 

[chansen]

Aha! The overprotective parents! I still have those, and I'm 29.

There is no proven way to cure the overprotective parent. They are not guided by logic or reason. Their lives revolve around their children, though they may not respect their children's wishes.

I battled my mother about such things as privacy too. Never solved a thing. In retrospect, it perhaps was not the most intelligent battle I could have fought.

I can tell you this: don't fly off the handle. That will just prove to them that you are still a child and require their protection and direct guidance. Basically, you're in this until you move out, and even then, it won't stop completely.

This is giving me flashbacks...

Craig

 

[Sir Fredrick]

How are you supposed to master your own domain if they won't give you any privacy? Get a lock for your door.

Seriously though, I had the same problem with my parents...drove me nuts. You won't get sympathy from older people, because as you grow older your perspective really changes. Your parents are probably concerned about you...they want you to do well in school and they want to make sure you're not getting into drugs. I know several people whos parents never checked up on them and they got into all kinds of horrible crap. But parents do need to learn some moderation. I say deal with it as best you can, and you may need to be confrontational at times.
Parents have a hard time understanding what teenagers go through, but it is natural for teens to want to become more independent and rebellious (you'll learn that in any Human Development class). Unfortunately, I don't know how to make them understand that. My teenage years were a time of great conflict between my parents and I...at the worst point I actually got into a physical fight with my father. But I have now established my independence, am living on my own and supporting myself, I have a much better relationship with them now, and when I do come home they respect my privacy and need for independence.

On a side note, maybe you should hone your english skills a bit.

 

[Geekbabe]

<< my mom cleaned my room last week, WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL.

I AM 21 YEARS OLD AND IS LIKE 3 MONTHS FROM BEING 22.

so i got mad, broke 2 chairs, and locked her out of the apartment. >>



Be very,very,very glad that you didn't enter this world from my body

 

[AreaCode707]

Best way to get all this to stop is to beat them to the punch. Tell them about your day, leave your door open once in a while so they can come in, when they ask you if you're cold- ask if they are, TALK TO THEM. (Y'know, conversation?) The words between you might be boring for a while but it doesn't take too much effort and it helps them feel connected to you so they don't feel like they have to try so hard. And you never know but you might develop a relationship with them in the process.