i feel stupid

[bandXtrb]

I am a college student, and I am having a horrible time this semester. The events of this last week have really exacerbated my problems.

It's very hard to bring myself to start doing work or studying. When I do, I have problems concentrating and staying with what I'm trying to do. I can read a page for an hour and not have understood anything. When I try to understand something, I get anxious. My breathing gets irregular and I feel very tense. I get angry at myself and I feel stupid for not being able to understand concepts that are probably very simple. Indeed, things that should be simple seem very hard. Even when I manage to accomplish something, it is with so much effort that I find it a waste to have spent so much time and energy for so little progress. And once again, that makes me feel stupid.

Another part of my problem is that I feel swamped by the work I have to do, even though it's not too much. I always feel like I am behind. Even though there is a good amount of free time, I feel like it's just not enough, and even unuseable.

This is not a new thing -- I've felt this way for maybe a year now, though increasingly worse. I decided to take classes this semester that I thought I would enjoy, and it still sucks. I thought about quitting school, but people around me thought I might be in worse shape if I do so.

And the events last week have made me very emotional, and so utterly uninterested in the things I should be doing, that I find it very hard to continue.

Please I would appreciate some real responses.

 

[Robert01]

Try seeking out a counselor, seriously.

 

[spanky]

college is all about time management. you also have to separate between what you have to do, and what you want to do. know the difference and get your priorities straight. otherwise, stop wasting you money. no beating around the bush here...

 

[bandXtrb]

Yeah, I have been seeing a therapist for a year, and she has been no help. I am going to tell her I'm quitting tommorrow.

 

[bandXtrb]

I feel if I give up on this semester, I may feel worse.

I am thinking about doing volunteer work.

 

[j0lly]

Learn to meditate.

 

[tweakmm]

<< Learn to meditate. >>


Ah.... I need to start meditating again....
I think that ill start tonight

 

[gopunk]

see a psychiatrist perhaps? sounds like something they would have meds for, i mean i don't like meds in general, but if you have no other options...

 

[Chris A]

Might be time to see a DR... How is your diet.. Do you get out and exercise at all.. Heavy smoking amd drinking dont help..

Stupid things can cause Things like this.. Like poor eyesight.. Ear infections... Gritting your teeth..

How are your sleep patterns.. People with Sleep Apnia complain of simular things..

I am just throwing out some suggestions.. Good luck..

 

[bandXtrb]

Yah I have bad depression. I have taken some meds earlier this year, but I gave up because I thought they were making me feel worse (side effects). Now I see that I really need them.

School makes me feel more depressed, though.

As for excercise, I joined a gym last month, but I could only bring myself to go about three times. When I start sweating, I try to think why I am doing it. There is no good enough reason to be there, so I am a pretty inactive person.

 

[Martin]

I usually have the same problems. The thing is, I don't actually have free time

I get up and go to school, followed immidiately by work. I come home exhausted at 9 and have to do hours of math and other sh!t....


conclusion: life is pathetic.....




Try going something you love.....for example......i love table tennis and volleyball......if I could play those in my free time, I'd feel much better.

 

[bandXtrb]

<< I get up and go to school, followed immidiately by work. I come home exhausted at 9 and have to do hours of math and other sh!t.... >>

Wow, I cannot do even a small fraction of that

 

[kru]

you described something close to how i regarded schoolwork for most of my life. i cruised through most of high school barely opening any of my textbooks. this went on through the end of my freshman year. i don't know what changed things for me, but all i know is that halfway through the first semester of my sophomore year i went through a rough time: broke up with my g/f of 3 years (with whom i was having a long distance relationship by then), moved off campus and away from all my close friends. all i had left was my schoolwork, and found that once i started cranking it out, the sense of accomplishment i felt just motivated me to keep up the momentum.

i had flunked 4 out of my 5 midterms, but ended that semester with Bs and B+'s in spite of that. granted, i didn't undergo depression, so i would recommend consulting professional help for that. it sounds like you might be suffering anxiety attacks or something similar. if it were just poor time management or being motivationally challenged, writing a list of things you have to do and prioritizing them would deal with time management. and tackling your work in smaller amounts, and rewarding yourself after meeting your goals could help you address the motivation issue.

you also might want to take a step back and examine your life...is there anything else going on that might be weighing on your mind and affecting you without you consciously knowing it?

 

[mithrandir2001]

Sometimes we make ourselves sick subconsciously in order to avoid something we don't want to do. Perhaps college is just too much for you right now and by becoming sick, you are establishing a way out. I'm not assigning blame; again, this could be a subconscious reaction.

 

[Martin]

<<

<< I get up and go to school, followed immidiately by work. I come home exhausted at 9 and have to do hours of math and other sh!t.... >>

Wow, I cannot do even a small fraction of that >>



You can, it gets your mind off things.

The bad thing is, I've been doing that for 3 weeks and its starting to take its toll on me. Fridays I do nothing but sleep when I come home, while my friends go out

fortunately, my job lasts for only another month and a half....then things will improve.


my advice. Calm down (try some classical music) and take everything little by little. I had the exact same feeling as you did when I started my calculus course (the feeling of being stupid and not being able to get anything), but I worked and now I'm keeping pace with the class.....

good luck..

 

[Poncherelli]

smoke some bud with your friends, it'll really settle you down

 

[Fraggle]

don't be afraid to take a year off, if that's an option for you; the college environment is a VERY difficult place to address issues like depression...

just promise yourself that you'll do your best to fix things up, and you'll go back in a semester or a year and do better -- education costs are too high to not embrace the curriculum fully, so you may be wasting your money right now.

keep getting therapy... switch therapists if necessary. as you go thru different therapists, and none of them really seems that much better than the others, you'll realize exactly what they wanted you to know all along: that you're ulitimately responsible for yourself. that's a hard thing to see during a time of depression, but it'll click and seem obvious when you start to see/feel a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

in my opinion, medicines are very temporary measure; they are best used for people who NEED to keep going in whatever they're doing, and don't have the option to step back... they help simulate an internal environment that will allow you to function more normally. however, I personally feel that medication is best reserved for suicidal people, and those -- such as students -- that are attempting to continue with their lives thru their depression... but all of the above will have to face the music and deal with the root causes of their problems eventually. so i feel that it's better to take a step back (take a semester off school), patch things up, and then go back and truly kick some ass. if you're able to take advice, as so few people are, then maybe you can at least intuitively learn from the collective experiences of millions of people that have been in your position, and will tell you that it'll work out.

i speak of all this from experience; i happened to fizzle out near the end of high school, but went straight into a first tier university anyway; i paid a tremendous monetary price and lost a lot of confidence in myself before i realized that i needed to take a break. but that was the point i had to reach -- the point where my performance was SO bad -- before i was willing to see that my problems were not going away. i was afraid to take time off from school -- i was afraid that i'd become another drop-out statistic. but i kept my promise to myself and now i'm back in school, and, at almost 22 years old, i've found that i'm far the wiser for my experience than any of the people who stayed in school straight through and are now seniors. they'll learn their lessons eventually soon, and i hope to be there as a good example of positive results.

Hope this helps and makes some sense. PM if you need help & and hang in there!

 

[Ameesh]

maybe your not cut out for college its not for evryone and it doesnt make you a bad person if you quit. hope you feel better.

 

[bandXtrb]

Thanks Fraggle, that was very insightful.