I feel so damn guilty!!!

[Total Refected Power]

I am being recruited by a company for a really great position. Appears to be intellectuallly stimulating, excellent pay, stock options, benefits etc. However, in my current position I have become an my mentor's right hand man and a defection would be the equivalent of dropping a bomb on him. He has treated me very well but I have doubts about the viability of the position long-term, hence my putative interest in an industrial position. I just feel so bad even thinking about leaving. I know I have to do what it is best for myself and my family but I have always been a loyal person and I hate letting people down.

If I left, it would be one of the hardest things I have ever done to date.

 

[kamiam]

I understand where your coming from...since he is your mentor( I wouldn't suggest this if he wasn't) why don't you try talking to him about your current position where it's heading,what you expect in the future in regards to your position and place within the Co. what your employer see's for your future and your position there ect. ect.As a mentor he/she would appreciate and respect the conversation...and be honest...mention your moral dilemma and options...as a mentor he/she should understand and make helpful suggestions. Good luck

 

[skull]

I know how you feel. I'm going to have to quit my first job because this one doesn't pay enough but the guys I work with are like my second family.

 

[Viper GTS]

but the guys I work with are like my second family

I know that feeling. I still miss people from my last job, it's been 18+ months since I last saw them.



Viper GTS

 

[montanafan]

Do you think you'll like the people you work for and with at the new place? That's a big part of job satisfaction you know.

I moved to a new school a long way from home and the commute and the price of gas is a real pain, but I love the principal at the new school and the whole atmosphere of the place. I honestly wouldn't trade it for my old school 5 minutes from the house. Just my .02 worth.

 

[Amused]

<< I am being recruited by a company for a really great position. Appears to be intellectuallly stimulating, excellent pay, stock options, benefits etc. However, in my current position I have become an my mentor's right hand man and a defection would be the equivalent of dropping a bomb on him. He has treated me very well but I have doubts about the viability of the position long-term, hence my putative interest in an industrial position. I just feel so bad even thinking about leaving. I know I have to do what it is best for myself and my family but I have always been a loyal person and I hate letting people down.

If I left, it would be one of the hardest things I have ever done to date. >>



Go to your current boss with the offer from the other company. Tell him you'd prefer to stay with him, but he has to match the offer and make a long term commitment to your employment with him because you have a family, and a future to consider.

Loyalty is not shooting yourself in the foot. Loyalty is giving your boss the chance to meet the offer, or accept the fact that you must move on to realize your full potential.

 

[classy]

I'll tell you like my father told me. Its better to make a little less and be happy, than to make a lot and be miserable. If you enjoy your present job and the oppurtunity is there and the family is not in want of anything, stay where you are and be happy that you enjoy where you work. Trust me the grass in always greener on the other side of the river till you get there.:Q

 

[EagleKeeper]

Make sure that you have the offer in hand before spilling the beans to your present employer (mentor or boss)
If they feel like you are trying to place them into a bidding war, it will backfire. They may match you at present, but you loyalty has notw been placed in doubt.

Also make sure that you do not have a non-compete sword hanging over your skull.

 

[GL]

If you do get the job, give your current mentor a lengthy warning (like 1 month) before you quit. Let them know you're committed to wrapping up your current projects and work. And tell them the truth. You absolutely love it at this job and that the only reason you're leaving is because you feel the new job gives you much more headspace for growth. Treat your mentor to dinner on your last day and keep the lines of communication open in the future.

 

[vash]

Your life and future is more important to you, so don't hesitate leaving. Leaving is for YOU and YOU only. Just because you are in a good position doesn't mean you shouldn't think about yourself in the 5-10-15 year range.

Leaving jobs you like isn't easy, especially when you are treated well. But time comes to move on, so you have to do it -- one way or another.

vash

 

[propellerhead]

There is nothing more flattering to a mentor than to see his/her trainee succeed. Go for it. Move on. Move up. Thank your boss for all the training and guidance he/she has given you. Tell him/her there will be no other boss like him/her, etc. etc?.

 

[HansHurt]

The same happened to me recently, he invested so much time in me...I felt bad, especially since I built so many positive work relationships w/ ppl there..it's kinda like losing a family

 

[Electric Amish]

I can't wait until I get a job where I give a rat's ass about the people I work with.

amish