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I failed, then proceeded to fail again

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QueBert

QueBert

Lifer
Jan 6, 2002
22,979
1,178
126
I was at a friends house playing Texas Hold 'Em, his roomate was pregant and thought she was going into labor, he had bet her money awhile back on what day she would have the baby, it was that day. So she goes off the hospital. I left, and ended up going back a few days later to play some more cards. I don't really know her, but I know who she is and she knows who I am.

so did you have the baby yet? - me talking to her, I heard she came home from the hospital that night and hadn't had the baby.

what! I had the baby later that night! - she chirps back, looking annoyed. I think she's a bit offended because I did glance at her stomach before I said it. but I wasn't think about a size difference, I just looked to look. I did catch on to this pretty quick though. So I come back with

no, I mean, you look the same to me as you did the other night" - I was trying to compliment her because in my mind she really didn't look that big for a pregant girl the other night, especially one on the verge of having a baby. But the way it came out made me sound like I was saying she was still fat. lol I knew it was too late to try to save my 2nd fuck up in a row and I just shut up before I made things worse. It sounded good in my mind any ways haha.

Everyone else in the room had a laugh at my expense, and I got a couple "damn that's fucked up man!" I might be on her bad side now, sheeeet.

 
skyking

skyking

Lifer
Nov 21, 2001
22,777
5,939
146
OP, you should follow some form of Dave Barry's advice on this:
"10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment."
 
A

Auggie

Golden Member
Jul 18, 2003
1,379
0
0
Another random fail story:

A few weeks ago at a small research symposium, I was having lunch after one of the talks. I told my thesis advising committee member that "I wondered why the speaker chose such a boring topic to make the focus of his lab." Turns out, my committee member (basically one of the 3 people in charge of when I can defend my thesis and graduate with my PhD), well, she also researches auxin response in Arabidopsis. Epic fail.
 
BurnItDwn

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,353
1,862
126
IMO, women tend to fail at comprehension. Maybe the failures were on her side, and not yours? Perhaps she is the type that just talks nonstop and never listens, thus, she can't figure out intend based upon tone and context?

Just a thought ...
 
Amused

Amused

Elite Member
Apr 14, 2001
57,387
19,675
146
This is what you get for not using a GUI. You fail at visual and spatial recognition.
 
T

Tim

The baby sucking from her nipple didn't tip you off? Sheesh, stick with DOS, seeing things obviously won't help a bit.
 
Jeff7

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,596
20
81
"Oh god no, that's not what I meant! I meant, damn your vag must be totally stretched out now, right?
SHIT! I mean, I mean, did you have sex while you were pregnant? OH CRAP!
Your stomach's not big, it's just your boobs, you know, they're like huge!.......
Um, I have to use the bathroom. Boy I bet you sure had to pee a lot while you were pregnant, right?"

By this time, her husband has had ample time to walk up behind you in preparation to painfully sterilize you with his shoe.

 
Atomic Playboy

Atomic Playboy

Lifer
Feb 6, 2007
16,432
1
81
The real question is... if she just had a baby, where the hell was it? You went over to her house and didn't even see it? Did she throw it in the closet till poker was over?
 
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