I don't believe this. New Beer Warning Labels. Will you drink it anymore?

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Locutus of Board

Diamond Member
Dec 14, 1999
7,187
0
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Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
freak.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't
remember).

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster, sexier, and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may
seem to literally disappear.
 
V

VoodooExtreme

Golden Member
Jan 25, 2000
1,907
0
71


<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may
seem to literally disappear. >>

Wow, cool stuff!!! Can you travel in time too? ;)
 
T

TripleJ

Platinum Member
Apr 29, 2001
2,667
0
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Hehe, I got that emailed to me years ago. I thought there were heaps on the list?
 
T

Tauren

Diamond Member
Jan 30, 2001
3,880
1
0
They have known this all along and kept it hidden from us. I have personally been damaged by these side effects and I think a class-action lawsuit is in order.
 
BoberFett

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,562
9
81
I wish they'd put those warnings on the label sooner. There's only 2 of those that I haven't experienced. :Q
 
E

Elledan

Banned
Jul 24, 2000
8,880
0
0


<< I wish they'd put those warnings on the label sooner. There's only 2 of those that I haven't experienced. :Q >>

And which two might that be? :D
 
L

Locutus of Board

Diamond Member
Dec 14, 1999
7,187
0
0
Bober......I hope one of the are

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!)
 
BoberFett

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,562
9
81


<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hellhappened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!) >>

This has never happened to me but I have gotten phone calls the day after wondering if I found a bra in my room.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. >>

I was at a trade show a couple weeks ago and someone sponsored an open bar. After a few glasses of wine, I started talking really loudly at people who came by the booth to check out our product.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a freak. >>

After I was done yelling at those customers, I went to a techno bar near the beach and danced like a wildman all night.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. >>

I love you man.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. >>

I'm a karaoke fiend.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. >>

I didn't realize it was that late.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. >>

WHAT DID YOU TTTHAY TTTHWEETIE? as she wipes off her face

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked. >>

I do study kung fu, but I have to keep in mind when drinking that my skills do not give me the ability to pick fights with the entire rugby team sitting across the bar from me.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). >>

She looked good the night before.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. >>

Forehead, arms, legs. To this day I still don't know exactly how they got there.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, sexier, and better looking than most people. >>

I think that when I'm sober too, I'm just more vocal about it when I'm drunk. ;)

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. >>

Never had this one happen yet. I guess I need to keep drinking until I do.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. >>

Aren't they? :confused:

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. >>

I don't remember my birthday in April of this year. That's when I got those rugburns I can't explain. :Q
 
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