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I don't believe this. New Beer Warning Labels. Will you drink it anymore?

L

Locutus of Board

Diamond Member
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
freak.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't
remember).

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster, sexier, and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may
seem to literally disappear.
 


<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may
seem to literally disappear. >>

Wow, cool stuff!!! Can you travel in time too? 😉
 
They have known this all along and kept it hidden from us. I have personally been damaged by these side effects and I think a class-action lawsuit is in order.
 


<< I wish they'd put those warnings on the label sooner. There's only 2 of those that I haven't experienced. :Q >>

And which two might that be? 😀
 
Bober......I hope one of the are

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!)
 


<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hellhappened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!) >>

This has never happened to me but I have gotten phone calls the day after wondering if I found a bra in my room.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. >>

I was at a trade show a couple weeks ago and someone sponsored an open bar. After a few glasses of wine, I started talking really loudly at people who came by the booth to check out our product.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a freak. >>

After I was done yelling at those customers, I went to a techno bar near the beach and danced like a wildman all night.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. >>

I love you man.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. >>

I'm a karaoke fiend.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. >>

I didn't realize it was that late.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. >>

WHAT DID YOU TTTHAY TTTHWEETIE? as she wipes off her face

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked. >>

I do study kung fu, but I have to keep in mind when drinking that my skills do not give me the ability to pick fights with the entire rugby team sitting across the bar from me.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). >>

She looked good the night before.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. >>

Forehead, arms, legs. To this day I still don't know exactly how they got there.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, sexier, and better looking than most people. >>

I think that when I'm sober too, I'm just more vocal about it when I'm drunk. 😉

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. >>

Never had this one happen yet. I guess I need to keep drinking until I do.

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. >>

Aren't they? 😕

<< WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. >>

I don't remember my birthday in April of this year. That's when I got those rugburns I can't explain. :Q
 
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