-
We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.
I can't see the point behind getting married nor having kids.
Page 13 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
Posts: 1764
Joined: 06/13/2005
This is why you don't know what a good woman can do to a man's life.
Your life belongs to Anandtech and the internet.
you average 9.8 posts per day approximately.
A bit of advice.
turn off the computer, work out, and go get yourself a big breasted woman to explore.
🙂
Joined: 06/13/2005
This is why you don't know what a good woman can do to a man's life.
Your life belongs to Anandtech and the internet.
you average 9.8 posts per day approximately.
A bit of advice.
turn off the computer, work out, and go get yourself a big breasted woman to explore.
🙂
well I've had plenty of sex unlike the OP, but I have no desire whatsoever to get married. Have kids for sure, but no marriage. Why?
a) Women are a freaking nightmare to live with and all the stereotypes are pretty much based on truths.
b) should some woman love with with all her heart and vise-versa, we surely wouldn't need to have some piece of paper to 'prove' our love for each other. We should love each other sufficiently to not need marriage for that reason.
c) Everyone has heard of women marrying for money.
d) I'm not religious and really wouldnt want to go through a 'white wedding' as most women desire.
e) What's the advantage of marriage other than tax reasons? There appear to be none, but the cost losses if you bail are huge, and we all know how the courts favor the poor 'victim' women especially if there are kids about.
a) Women are a freaking nightmare to live with and all the stereotypes are pretty much based on truths.
b) should some woman love with with all her heart and vise-versa, we surely wouldn't need to have some piece of paper to 'prove' our love for each other. We should love each other sufficiently to not need marriage for that reason.
c) Everyone has heard of women marrying for money.
d) I'm not religious and really wouldnt want to go through a 'white wedding' as most women desire.
e) What's the advantage of marriage other than tax reasons? There appear to be none, but the cost losses if you bail are huge, and we all know how the courts favor the poor 'victim' women especially if there are kids about.
HomeAppraiser
Platinum Member
Well The Linuxator you seem to be riding the storm of rude posts fairly well.
Personally I did not feel ready for marriage until I turned 26. I don't know if it was my internal clock or the girl I was with, who I wed seven months later, but something just clicked. When we said "I do" it was for life. Still going after 11.5 years and three kids!
To get your parents off your back just tell them that you don't feel ready yet and things could change when you are older. Also you don't want to get hitched just to be married. The commitment is suppose to be for life so you want to make sure that you find the right person.
Best of luck.
Personally I did not feel ready for marriage until I turned 26. I don't know if it was my internal clock or the girl I was with, who I wed seven months later, but something just clicked. When we said "I do" it was for life. Still going after 11.5 years and three kids!
To get your parents off your back just tell them that you don't feel ready yet and things could change when you are older. Also you don't want to get hitched just to be married. The commitment is suppose to be for life so you want to make sure that you find the right person.
Best of luck.
The Linuxator
Banned
ROFL !! OK that might help me tend towards marriage.
ROFL @ a big breasted woman.
You have insulted me it's no 9.8 posts /day it's 10 posts / day 😀
The reason why I am always online @anandtech is that during school me my friends are each in a different college and our houses are far away from each other and each is busy with hius own classes, job and what not. SO we only get to see each other at breaks in between semesters and such occassions.
So I made a new set of friends and enemies for me here on anandtech and parapapa I am lovin it 😉
It's hard to find a point in there I don't agree with you on.
Thanks for the advice 😉
OrganizedChaos
Diamond Member
love makes you do stupid things.
The Linuxator
Banned
Another one of the reasons that I try to avoid relations, that's a very accurate point.
MixMasterTang
Diamond Member
There are other legal reasons to consider getting married, such as if your S.O. was in the hospital are you are not married you basically have no say over anything. Sure these are "romantic" reasons to get married but they do qualify as valid reasons in my eyes.
Other examples:
1.Assumption of Spouse?s Pension
2.Automatic Housing Lease Transfer
3.Bereavement Leave
4.Burial Determination
5.Crime Victim?s Recovery Benefits
6.Domestic Violence Protection
7.Exemption from Property Tax on Partner?s Death
8.Immunity from Testifying Against Spouse
9.Joint Bankruptcy benefits
10.Medical Decisions on Behalf of Partner
11.Reduced Rate Memberships to a variety of organizations, clubs, etc.
12.Federal Sick Leave and Family Medical Leave benefits to Care for Partner
13.Visitation of Partner in Hospital or Prison (if this ever becomes an issue)
14.Intimate emotional support from a spouse
15.Monogamous sex
16.Access to military stores if your spouse has access
17.Immigration and citizenship benefits
18.Some Federal Veteran?s discounts for married people
19.Children
20.Children living with married parents tend to be much safer than
children living with single parents, because they are statistically
less likely to be aborted and less likely to be abused or neglected
21.Compared to children in single-parent families, children raised in
married-parent homes have better emotional and physical health and
engage in fewer risky behaviors, such as premarital sex, substance
abuse, delinquency, and suicide.
22.Children with married parents do better academically and fare
better economically.
23.Children raised in intact homes are less likely to cohabit and more
likely to view marriage positively and maintain life-long marriages.
24.Married people have better emotional and physical health and
statistically live longer than do unmarried people.
25.Married couples have greater incomes than do single adults, and the
longer they stay married, the more wealth they accumulate.
26.Married couples enjoy greater sexual satisfaction than do unmarried
people because they tend to be more secure with one another.
27.Married women are safer than unmarried women. Never-married,
cohabiting, separated, and divorced women experience higher rates of
domestic violence than do married women
28.Marriage makes homes safer places to live, because it curbs social
problems such as domestic violence and child abuse.
29.Communities with more married-parent families are safer and more
attractive places to live, because they are less likely to have
substance abuse and crime among young people.
30.Marriage is the best antidote to poverty and welfare dependency
because combines assets make for better homes and relationships.
31.Married people are more likely to be healthy, productive, and
engaged citizens, benefiting businesses and, ultimately, the economy.
32.Married people are more emotionally and financially stable and goal oriented.
33.They tend to be more committed to the relationship than single or
cohabitating people.
34.Reliable companionship
35.Married couples are traditionally a two-car family so you?d have a
backup vehicle if one of them ever breaks down
36.Some married couples can share portions of their wardrobes, giving
you more dress and fashion options
37.If you?re married you actually get Christmas and Birthday presents
that are a surprise instead of buying for yourself.
38.Holidays are much more fun with a spouse
39.Vacations are much more fun with a spouse
40.There?s always someone to confide in
41.In a marriage you have someone there who is as concerned about your
health and well-being as they are their own health and well-being
42.In a marriage you always have someone you can bounce ideas off of
and get honest and beneficial feedback
43.In a stable marriage you never have to worry about your partner
cheating or leaving you
44.When you get old and ugly there?s still someone who loves you and
thinks you?re gorgeous.
45.In a marriage you evolve and mature with someone else at the same
pace and share similar interests
46.By getting married you avoid the cultural stigma of being single
47.If you marry you have a chance to experience and enjoy both
lifestyles ? single and married.
48.Married people enjoy the satisfaction of caring for someone else in
a way that single people often never experience.
49.Married people who have children also get to experience a larger
extended family (grandchildren, cousins, aunts, uncles, in-laws, etc)
50.By virtue of the larger extended family married people have a much
larger support base if the need ever arises.
51.Married people are often extended greater credit because of dual
incomes and combined credit ratings.
52.Marriage promotes a greater sense of self and character. People who
are married are confident about their place in their relationship and
in the big scheme of things.
53.Religious beliefs and religious growth (if you are so inclined)
54.The courtship process that leads up to the marriage is an important
growth phase that is viewed by most people as extremely rewarding and
satisfying.
Edit: Not saying I agree with every single one of these, but these were found on this post.
The Linuxator
Banned
I agree with most of them, as I said I don't beleive in pre-marital sex and therfore if I ever want to have children I would want them to come from a stable marriage.
Now I have been listening to alot of wise posts about the benefits of marriage. Now lets listen to the disadvantages of marriage, anyone(Keep in mind that I don't want children without marriage so don't mention things about having children without a marriage) ?
Now I have been listening to alot of wise posts about the benefits of marriage. Now lets listen to the disadvantages of marriage, anyone(Keep in mind that I don't want children without marriage so don't mention things about having children without a marriage) ?
rivan
Diamond Member
Where do you think all those people came from?
Don't get me wrong - you're young. I wasn't married until my very late 20s - and I'm of the persuasion that believes I'm better off for having waited. You're at an age (or I assume you are, since you're talking this way and still in college) where you're questioning everything, (at the risk of sounding cliche) experiementing, and figuring out who you are. There's nothing wrong with any of that.
I got married because I wanted consistent companionship, the sort of consistent companionship that comes with marriage. I could have had it without marriage, I'd still be with her, but the convention of marriage sort of solidifies the whole thing. Puts it out there for the world to see - it's much more clear to others our status when we introduce each other as "my husband" or "my wife", as opposed to "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". It's a delcaration of seriousness - for us it's got nothing to do with religion and everything to do with convenience of relaying our relationship to others.
My personal moviation for having a child (my daughter's almost two now) was that I'd seen the joy children bring to your life. It's hokey, but I saw a pal of mine with his newborn daughter, days after she was born, with a serene look on his face I'd never seen before. We grew up, partying together - he was always the wildest guy at the party, and I was the one that drove everyone home at the end of the night. He grew out of that the day his daughter was born and hasnt looked back. The bond between father & child is like nothing else - but you've got to be ready to enjoy it that way. You have to be ready to accept a child is now your number one priority - it's no longer about self-gratification (you can still do what you want, but it's gotta take a back seat to the kid!).
So, the way I see it there's nothing wrong with your point of view, at your age. There will be something wrong with it if you don't grow out of it. Visions of the pathetic 45 year old with the beer gut sitting in his hot tub in the back yard of his pachelor pad come to mind...
MixMasterTang
Diamond Member
The disadvantages of marriage don't really matter if you don't plan on having a long term relationship. But a few of them are:
You are locked in with a single person?If you like to be with a different person every week, marriage is not for you.
You give up a great deal of freedom?Every decision will now be a compromise between two people.
You are going to have to work to maintain and build your human qualities?Trust, loyalty, commitment, kindness, patience, etc. are not easy. You have to work at these skills every day in a marriage to become better at them. If you are not willing to put in the effort, you will fail in the marriage.
Also on this list of the 10 most popular inventors 8 were married (at least at one time, some of them multiple times) and 7 had children (most having many kids)
Also here is a list of the 20 richest americans
1 Gates, William H III 43,000 46 married Seattle, WA Microsoft
2 Buffett, Warren Edward 36,000 72 married Omaha, NE Berkshire Hathaway
3 Allen, Paul Gardner 21,000 49 single Mercer Island, WA Microsoft
4 Walton, Alice L 18,800 53 divorced Fort Worth, TX Wal-Mart
4 Walton, Helen R 18,800 83 widowed Bentonville, AR Wal-Mart
4 Walton, Jim C 18,800 54 married Bentonville, AR Wal-Mart
4 Walton, John T 18,800 56 married Durango, CO Wal-Mart
4 Walton, S Robson 18,800 58 divorced Bentonville, AR Wal-Mart
9 Ellison, Lawrence Joseph 15,200 58 divorced Atherton, CA Oracle
10 Ballmer, Steven Anthony 11,900 46 married Redmond, WA Microsoft
11 Dell, Michael 11,200 37 married Austin, TX Dell Computer
12 Kluge, John Werner 10,500 88 married Charlottesville, VA Metromedia
13 Mars, Forrest Edward Jr 10,000 71 married McLean, VA candy
13 Mars, Jacqueline 10,000 63 divorced Bedminster, NJ candy
13 Mars, John Franklyn 10,000 66 married Arlington, VA candy
16 Anthony, Barbara Cox 9,500 79 married Honolulu, HI media
16 Chambers, Anne Cox 9,500 82 divorced Atlanta, GA media
18 Redstone, Sumner M 9,000 79 divorced Newton Centre, MA Viacom
19 Johnson, Abigail 8,200 40 married Boston, MA mutual funds
20 Newhouse, Donald Edward 7,700 72 married Somerset County, NJ media
20 Newhouse, Samuel Irving Jr 7,700 74 married New York, NY media
22 Pritzker, Robert Alan 7,600 76 married Chicago, IL hotels, investments
22 Pritzker, Thomas J 7,600 52 married Chicago, IL hotels, investments
24 Johnson, Samuel Curtis 7,000 74 married Racine, WI S.C. Johnson & Son
24 Soros, George 7,000 72 married Bedford, NY hedge funds
Only 1 of them has never been married, out of the top 10, 9 of them have children (I didn't bother to check the rest, but you get the idea).
You can be very successful both financially and offering something to better humanity and have children and be in a commited relationship. I would also venture further and say that sometimes having children changes your perspective on life and everything to do with it and could help you think outside of the box and could actually could help you contribute to your goal by changing your thinking or letting you see the way other people think.
It's amazing sometimes to watch a child and see how they interrupt stuff and learn, you can actually learn quite a bit about a lot of things this way.
bonkers325
Lifer
from the sound of it, it looks like you're doing everyone a favor 😛
there are plenty of people who lead the solitary life - but its socially unacceptable to be a bachelor all your life (unless you're Hugh Hefner).
But that just makes it sound like it's better to be married to "someone" than to be alone, which is saying that a loveless marriage is better than no marriage. It sounds like the important thing is just being able to claim that you are married, regardless if the two of you are happy with it or not.
homercles337
Diamond Member
Nothing is wrong with your logic. Im in my LATE 20s and have no intention of getting married, and surely dont want kids. Stick to your guns man. The single life is great!
DarkKnight69
Golden Member
The unfortunate part of this hopefulness is that the liklyhood of your egsistance have an impact at all on anyone but yourself and those immediatly around you is so slim. You look at the size of you compared to everyone else and u cannot deny the fact that there is little to no chance of you doing anything meaningful. Instead of hoarding this knowledge you are gaining, passit on to the next generation so they can put it to good use same as you can.
Think of every influential person in your life. And think of your parents...would you be where you are not, reaching for the goals you reach for with out them?? No way in hell! Think of your influence on someone like that! Think of the true impact you can make!
DarkKnight69
Golden Member
Me personally, I want to get married. If you love a girl, then u might want to spend the rest of your life with her!!!
The Linuxator
Banned
ROFLMAO!!
I've been married 10 years and have two kids, 6 years old and 1 year old.
I love my wife, I love my kids. I like being with them, playing with them, answering the older's questions, teaching the younger one how to talk, reading stories with the older, taking the younger on "boat rides" through the house. If anything I watch them both growing up and wish that I had more time to spend with them.
That said, I never quite pictured myself as the married type, nor with kids, when I was 18.. or even 21. I dated a fair number of girls. I travelled around the world (well, not exactly literally, but I spent 6 years travelling/living in at least 20 countries). And then I met the woman that I later married and found that everything was even more fun when I had someone to do it with. That's me - I never pictured it, never dreamed it, never really thought about it, but within a week of meeting my future wife, I knew we'd marry... and we did 3 years later.
I don't think marriage is for everyone, and I definitely don't think kids should be for everyone. If anyone had asked me at 21 when I was going to get married, I'd have said "probably never". I never had anyone pressure me, or even ask me about it - although I was gone from home at age 19 and lived a long ways away for years.
Kids are hard. They challenge your patience, they cost a lot of money and sleep, it's awful watching them suffer through an illness, and trying to get them to eat a decent meal or just wear warm clothing is difficult, they impact every aspect of your life leaving you with little free time and a lot of things to worry about. Marriage is hard too - requiring patience, compromise and perserverance.
I took my older daughter to Narnia last night. We'd read it a-half-chapter-at-time at bedtime over the end of summer, and she watched the movie and a few minutes after Lucy stepped through the wardrobe in the movie, my daughter grabbed my arm and turned to me and whispered with a glowing smile "Dad, it's JUST like the book!" and I gave her a half-hug. It was really wonderful to see her so happy. Like the time that she learned to ride without training wheels. Or just taking her to a beach and helping her find shells and build sand castles.
If you don't see the point of marriage or kids, then give it time. If you never see the point, then that's probably for the best too - I can think of several friends who never should have married their partner, and I can think of several others who probably would be happier without children.
I love my wife, I love my kids. I like being with them, playing with them, answering the older's questions, teaching the younger one how to talk, reading stories with the older, taking the younger on "boat rides" through the house. If anything I watch them both growing up and wish that I had more time to spend with them.
That said, I never quite pictured myself as the married type, nor with kids, when I was 18.. or even 21. I dated a fair number of girls. I travelled around the world (well, not exactly literally, but I spent 6 years travelling/living in at least 20 countries). And then I met the woman that I later married and found that everything was even more fun when I had someone to do it with. That's me - I never pictured it, never dreamed it, never really thought about it, but within a week of meeting my future wife, I knew we'd marry... and we did 3 years later.
I don't think marriage is for everyone, and I definitely don't think kids should be for everyone. If anyone had asked me at 21 when I was going to get married, I'd have said "probably never". I never had anyone pressure me, or even ask me about it - although I was gone from home at age 19 and lived a long ways away for years.
Kids are hard. They challenge your patience, they cost a lot of money and sleep, it's awful watching them suffer through an illness, and trying to get them to eat a decent meal or just wear warm clothing is difficult, they impact every aspect of your life leaving you with little free time and a lot of things to worry about. Marriage is hard too - requiring patience, compromise and perserverance.
I took my older daughter to Narnia last night. We'd read it a-half-chapter-at-time at bedtime over the end of summer, and she watched the movie and a few minutes after Lucy stepped through the wardrobe in the movie, my daughter grabbed my arm and turned to me and whispered with a glowing smile "Dad, it's JUST like the book!" and I gave her a half-hug. It was really wonderful to see her so happy. Like the time that she learned to ride without training wheels. Or just taking her to a beach and helping her find shells and build sand castles.
If you don't see the point of marriage or kids, then give it time. If you never see the point, then that's probably for the best too - I can think of several friends who never should have married their partner, and I can think of several others who probably would be happier without children.
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 24K
-
-
