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I cannot believe this: Family in Crisis 3

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Dedpuhl

Lifer
Before you read the rest of my post, please read the archive:

Family in Crisis 2 and 1


Some of you may remember me posting how my sister went insane last year (Mardi Gras). She spent 29 days in a mental institution due to the consumption of a cup of formaldehyde. She was messed up for months. Read the above link to get the details.

Shortly after her psychedelic trip, the God Squad "ensnared" her and took over her life. She was a good little christian for several months. The mind control was quite disturbing. Anyway, In August she decided she wanted to live with my mom and stepdad in Indiana. My mom sent a plane ticket and off she went. From August until the end of December, everything seemed ok. January rolls around and my sister calls. She is upset about my mom and stepdad trying enforce rules in the house. My dad bought the story...hook, line, and sinker. He sends her a ticket and she comes back. He helps her get a job.

I talked to my mom and found out the reason why she left: she was drinking and doing drugs. My mom couldn't control her and my stepdad threatened to have her locked in a mental institution again. That set my sister off and she demanded to leave.

I talked to my dad and we pieced a little bit of the puzzle together. We came to the conclusion that my sister used my mom (and other family) for:

a. sympathy - "you poor thing"
b. attention
b. presents - her birthday was in November and X-mas in December

Suddenly after X-mas, she became violent and disrespectful to my mom and the rest of the family. Her attitude changed completely. My mom couldn't handle her, so she ships her off to my dad.

Supposedly, my dad told my sister if she did drugs or didn't work that he would kick her out. I figure that he was serious. I was sure he didn't want to see his "little girl" back at the insane asylum.

A few days ago, I walked by my sister's room and noticed a quite familiar odor. She was smoking dope. I knocked on her door. She quickly locked it and started spraying deoderizer. I also noticed she was burning incense. I immediately called my dad and informed him. He acted angry. He claimed to have told her he would kick her out.

TODAY, I walk by her room and almost get knocked over by the smell of weed. She was spraying that Lysol SH!t to cover it up. 10 minutes later, he walks in the door and I tell him to go smell for himself. He almost acts as if he doesn't CARE! I tell him again. He walks away.

WHAT THE F**K is his problem? She has been arrested at high school, arrested on the street, and locked in a mental institution. She is completely fuct in the head.

I have come to 2 conclusions:

1. My sister is a piece of trash that is a leech off her family and will be a leech off society. She has destroyed my mom's feelings and is working on my dad. She has not learned her lesson. She will wind up dead in the street and I will not care. When I am on my own, she had better NEVER try to contact me. She better NEVER ask me for money. Some may think I am being harsh and insensitive. If she doesn't want to help herself, then I am not going to help her.

2. My dad is a piece of trash. He allows her to walk all over him. I thought he learned his lesson when he saw her impression of a nutcase. I was wrong. He still lets her run the show. Is he afraid to kick her out?


I graduate from college in May. I can't afford to move out yet. I am pretty much stuck until I transfer to my new job. I can't take it anymore. I am ready to pull out the gun and start bustin' caps.



btw, excuse the spelling and grammar. I am not thinking straight right now...
 
alright, sorry to be blunt about it, but your sister is pretty hopeless

get her the hell outta there

your mom/stepdad mean well, and so do you

i'm pretty sure your dad does too, but he's not assertive enough/doesn't have the heart evidently to kick out your sis
 

A few days ago, I walked by my sister's room and noticed a quite familiar odor

rolleye.gif
 


<< A few days ago, I walked by my sister's room and noticed a quite familiar odor

rolleye.gif
>>




If she is doing that, then I am sure she is doing the other things she used to do.
 
Better yet replace her stash with ditchweeds. The withdrawal pangs of smoking the wrong weed will hit her harder than any of your bitching.
 
I don't condone what she is doing, but please reconsider your position of breaking off all contact with her. Clearly she has some major problems, and she is going to need help to get back on track. It could be that you end up as the person to help her when that day comes.

At age 20, she should be looking forward to starting her adult life but it seems as if she's not able/willing/interested in doing so. If a professional can help her, I hope it can be arranged.

This situation is very difficult, as I would have said "kick her out", but after thinking about the background of what happened I don't really think that is going to help her. If she's on her own she won't be getting any help, I don't think.

I'll keep her and your family in my prayers.
 
Dude, you have my complete sympathy. I wish you luck in solving the problem. My personal opinion is that you've tried your best. She knows that what she's doing is harmful to herself. She is making a concious choice to destroy her life and leech off those around her. If you moved out once, I say move out again. Let your father know why you are leaving. Maybe he'll see that he's losing one child because of the other that is killing herself.
 


<< I don't condone what she is doing, but please reconsider your position of breaking off all contact with her. Clearly she has some major problems, and she is going to need help to get back on track. It could be that you end up as the person to help her when that day comes. >>



Oh please. If someone has a serious problem with addiction, help and support are about the last thing they need. Because if you help them they will take it for granted and will reassure themselves that they don't need help ("see, I'm doing fine!"). You need to let them fall flat on their ass and suffer, they have to WANT to get better, and they're not going to want to get better until they've suffered.

I'd rather not rehash the entire story here, but let's just say that I have an aunt who is addicted to crack and heroin, she got pregnant and had her kid taken away from her because he (her son) tested positive for some of those narcotics, which means she did drugs while pregnant. She has had nothing but support for her entire life, and she has "tried" to get better many times.
She's on her way to jail (after evading the system a few hundred times) for driving without a license, and she is also guilty of shoplifting.
My family keeps trying to "help" her, she doesn't even have to pay rent because she lives with my grandfather. Why she even has access to a car, I don't know.
 
Dedpuhl: Sorry guy, I believe the problem stares back at you in the mirror. So she does drugs, hell, she might even be addicted to some drugs, but you seem to have it in for her. Chill out.
 


<< Dedpuhl: Sorry guy, I believe the problem stares back at you in the mirror. So she does drugs, hell, she might even be addicted to some drugs, but you seem to have it in for her. Chill out. >>



I gave up on trying to help. She doesn't want help.
 


I read through all of your threads and I am sad to say that it seems like there is little hope left with your sister. BUt, there is still hope no matter what. I imagine the reason your dad is letting this all happen again is because he feels too weak to do anything anymore. His child is uncontrolable and doesn't care for him anymore. It would be tough to take. I think you should try to strengthen him rather than abandon hope. It's going to take more than one person, working together, to solve this problem. Do you have a rehab center you can stick her in?

I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong.
 
🙁

This is going to sound harsh, but I don't think your sis will get better. She'll probably be in and out of one institution (whether it be jail or a mental hospital) for most of her life. As sad as it sounds, I think life in a mental hospital would probably be the best thing for her. I'd hold to the hope that one day she'll straighten up, but after ingesting formaldehyde, I just don't know. That has got to cause some serious long term problems.

As for your dad, you're upset and hurt and disappointed in him. Understandably so. From the sound of it, he might be in a sort of denial. Her actions have hurt him and hurt him and hurt him and now he may be tring to block them out by ignoring them. This doesn't necessarily make it ok, however. Talk to him, try to be there for him.

I can also see why you just want to get out of the whole mess and get on with things. In a situation like this, I don't know how helpful any advice would be. I could suggest looking into committing your sister yourself, but I don't know how well that would go over. I'd highly recommend counseling, for your entire family, yourself included. People trained to deal with these types of situations.

Other than that, what I can offer is a stranger's ear. Sometimes it helps to vent. PM me or email me, and I'll do what I can to help.
 

This is going to sound harsh, but I don't think your sis will get better. She'll probably be in and out of one institution (whether it be jail or a mental hospital) for most of her life. As sad as it sounds, I think life in a mental hospital would probably be the best thing for her. I'd hold to the hope that one day she'll straighten up, but after ingesting formaldehyde, I just don't know. That has got to cause some serious long term problems.



Yeah. I've tried. I give up. In two months it will no longer be my burden...
 


<< Yeah. I've tried. I give up. In two months it will no longer be my burden... >>


The problem with this is that, while it shouldn't be your burden, I think you care a great deal for your family. I can certainly understand why you feel the way you do, but taking a "not my problem" stance will not solve the problem, nor will it make the problem go away. You also will not be immune to the problem, as news and events will invariably come to you. Because you care, the news will affect you.

What are your options? Why is your sister motivated to this self-destructive behavior?

...🙁



 
I think you'll have to let your dad be the parent. You should just step aside. I don't think you should snitch on her either.

Apart from the formaldehyde and going insane, my life between the ages of 18 and 24 wasn't too different from your sisters. Now, I'm married, haven't used drugs or alchohol for 3 years, and have a great job. Pot isn't a physical addiction, its more of a mental one (at least for me). If she is doing other stuff, or drinking very heavily, thats a different story. Still, I think your involvment(forcing your dad to act when maybe he isn't ready to make a stand) is making the situation worse. What if your dad kicked her out of the house? Then what? She ends up on the street or living with a man who doesn't treat her right.
 


<< Better yet replace her stash with ditchweeds. The withdrawal pangs of smoking the wrong weed will hit her harder than any of your bitching. >>




what, do you have any idea what you are talking about...
 


<< That'll never happen. She is a weak-minded follower... >>


It sounds like your sister actually made some progress when she sought God for help. You mock her for it.

She knows her life is empty and is trying to find something to give her peace and comfort. It doesn't sound like she gets any spiritual or moral guidance from anyone in her family.

What a sad, sad situation.
 


<<

<< That'll never happen. She is a weak-minded follower... >>


It sounds like your sister actually made some progress when she sought God for help. You mock her for it.

She knows her life is empty and is trying to find something to give her peace and comfort. It doesn't sound like she gets any spiritual or moral guidance from anyone in her family.

What a sad, sad situation. >>




I am very anti-religious, but I did like her a little more when she went to church. She and my dad went all the time. I didn't mock her (to her face). I kept my views to myself. As much as I hate religion, I would welcome it back...
 
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