Sorry for posting this, I am probably wasting all your time, but I need to get it off my chest before I snap and I could not talk to me best friend and confidant as it's about her.
I have a friend who broke up with her boyfriend nearly a year ago. She did not feel it was going well and they were changing as they got older (she had sarted seeing him at 16 I believe). We were good friends as we worked togetgher and it turned into something more. That essentially made me rebound guy, but I was happy being there for her and with her. Anyways, during this time I could tell she had feelings for him even though she left him in the first place. She often mistakenly called me by his name and talked about him and his family often, like every second day often. In early December, his grandfather died and it stressed her out so badly it made her push back all her exams... that was the last straw and I was a bit nasty with her about how someone else's family could affect her so much. She said it might be best if we went back to friends. She could not be alone though so she ran back to him, which lasted all of 2 weeks as he still was not the kind of man she needed. Following this second (and final according to her) breakup we were still good friends and even more which is what always made it hard for me. It was as if we were a couple. I mean she stayed here nearly all the time, even sleeping in the same bed, and we were great together, like a regular healthy couple. Still, she always told me she was not ready to be in a relationship with me even though she stayed here around 5-6 nights a week.
I don't hide the fact that I love her, I have been trying to get back with her for months now. I mean it's doubly hard for me since she sometimes called me very late (like 3 am late) to go get her because she wanted to come over to be with me. I mean what am I supposed to think... the woman I love calls because she wants to lie in bed next to me. Anyways, lately it has been more difficult, I am in a very stressful situation and I need someone who loves me close to me. I wrote her a letter last night saying that it was time for her to stop living in the past and that I wanted to give her new memories to cherish. It was not a harsh letter, it was a love letter really. She did not mention the letter but I mentionned it to her tonight... I wanted to know if I was wasting my time or if I should wait for her. She did not even answer, she sat there silently holding my hand. I dropped her off at home and she started speaking to me on MSN when I got here. I asked if she wanted to talk about it, but she crying because she does't know what to do. Anyways, I said again that she should really try to move on but its like it broke something inside her. She said she was crying uncontrollably and was afraid something bad would happen to her. I offered to go get her to bring her here but she did not want to because of what her parents would think (I think she just did not want to see me). I apologized best I could but she couldn't stop crying... all I wanted was for her to tell me she would go to sleep and forget about me, but she wouldn't.
Now I know she won't do anything stupid but I am still very worried and frightened... I would never live it down if she caused herself some harm. I am not worried though, she gets dark thoughts sometimes due to her situation. She had has a rough life... her mother is pretty much a shining example of a bad parent and her brother and sister are so far she has not seen them in years. She carries a larger emotional baggage than anyone I have ever met and all I wanted was for her to let me help her, support her, love her...
Anyways... I don't know what more I could have done... I was there as best I could for her, but after nearly a year, it is becoming harder and harder to see her constantly sad and depressed while I love her. I guess if someone read through this, I could use advice... should I stop being her friend and leave her alone? Should I shove my feelings in a closet and be there for her? I just can't take it anymore and it's tearing my up inside. I've always thought that falling in love with your best friend would be the most fantastic thing in the world... but ends up it's the most painful instead.
Cliffs :
No cliffs
No pics
She is 22, I'm 26, this isn't a high school romance, I want to spend my life and raise a family with her.
I am going to bed... I might bring up this thread tommorow to read the advice, but I posted mostly to just get this huge weight off my chest- which revealed that I am heartbroken. I envy you happy couples... cherish every day you have together because for some of us, it is something we cannot experience.
I have a friend who broke up with her boyfriend nearly a year ago. She did not feel it was going well and they were changing as they got older (she had sarted seeing him at 16 I believe). We were good friends as we worked togetgher and it turned into something more. That essentially made me rebound guy, but I was happy being there for her and with her. Anyways, during this time I could tell she had feelings for him even though she left him in the first place. She often mistakenly called me by his name and talked about him and his family often, like every second day often. In early December, his grandfather died and it stressed her out so badly it made her push back all her exams... that was the last straw and I was a bit nasty with her about how someone else's family could affect her so much. She said it might be best if we went back to friends. She could not be alone though so she ran back to him, which lasted all of 2 weeks as he still was not the kind of man she needed. Following this second (and final according to her) breakup we were still good friends and even more which is what always made it hard for me. It was as if we were a couple. I mean she stayed here nearly all the time, even sleeping in the same bed, and we were great together, like a regular healthy couple. Still, she always told me she was not ready to be in a relationship with me even though she stayed here around 5-6 nights a week.
I don't hide the fact that I love her, I have been trying to get back with her for months now. I mean it's doubly hard for me since she sometimes called me very late (like 3 am late) to go get her because she wanted to come over to be with me. I mean what am I supposed to think... the woman I love calls because she wants to lie in bed next to me. Anyways, lately it has been more difficult, I am in a very stressful situation and I need someone who loves me close to me. I wrote her a letter last night saying that it was time for her to stop living in the past and that I wanted to give her new memories to cherish. It was not a harsh letter, it was a love letter really. She did not mention the letter but I mentionned it to her tonight... I wanted to know if I was wasting my time or if I should wait for her. She did not even answer, she sat there silently holding my hand. I dropped her off at home and she started speaking to me on MSN when I got here. I asked if she wanted to talk about it, but she crying because she does't know what to do. Anyways, I said again that she should really try to move on but its like it broke something inside her. She said she was crying uncontrollably and was afraid something bad would happen to her. I offered to go get her to bring her here but she did not want to because of what her parents would think (I think she just did not want to see me). I apologized best I could but she couldn't stop crying... all I wanted was for her to tell me she would go to sleep and forget about me, but she wouldn't.
Now I know she won't do anything stupid but I am still very worried and frightened... I would never live it down if she caused herself some harm. I am not worried though, she gets dark thoughts sometimes due to her situation. She had has a rough life... her mother is pretty much a shining example of a bad parent and her brother and sister are so far she has not seen them in years. She carries a larger emotional baggage than anyone I have ever met and all I wanted was for her to let me help her, support her, love her...
Anyways... I don't know what more I could have done... I was there as best I could for her, but after nearly a year, it is becoming harder and harder to see her constantly sad and depressed while I love her. I guess if someone read through this, I could use advice... should I stop being her friend and leave her alone? Should I shove my feelings in a closet and be there for her? I just can't take it anymore and it's tearing my up inside. I've always thought that falling in love with your best friend would be the most fantastic thing in the world... but ends up it's the most painful instead.
Cliffs :
No cliffs
No pics
She is 22, I'm 26, this isn't a high school romance, I want to spend my life and raise a family with her.
I am going to bed... I might bring up this thread tommorow to read the advice, but I posted mostly to just get this huge weight off my chest- which revealed that I am heartbroken. I envy you happy couples... cherish every day you have together because for some of us, it is something we cannot experience.
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