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I am immature but what a wonderful day

E

Exterous

Super Moderator
We made the unfortunate flight from Orlando to Phoenix last Thursday and I can confirm what I have heard: This is perhaps the worst possible route you can fly. The combination of strollers, wheelchairs, rowdy worn out children with tired cranky parents, crazy long lines of pre-boarders and slow walkers is excessive to say the least. Pro-tip: If you are traveling by yourself and your bag is too heavy to lift 3 inches off the ground perhaps you should check it.

Anyway, I saw a row of three kids and deftly skipped a row to leave a DMZ between me and the seat rocking, crying mayhem that awaited any poor soul seated nearby. As I settled into my window seat, happy to have avoided such terror I thought I was at least mostly in the clear. I mean - what could be worse than sitting behind or in front of a row of three young children?

Fate was not to be kind though and threw something at me that I had not seen before. A family of four opted to split into two groups of 2 and take the seats in front of and directly behind us despite available consecutive rows just behind us. The father opted to sit in front of me and his son behind me.

For the rest of the trip we were subjected to the occasional passing of things back and forth. I was awakened when a tablet hit my head as it was passed to the seat in front of me.

While my noise cancelling headphones allowed me to escape the racket the snot nosed devil spawn that were ubiquitous in the cabin were making they could do nothing to stop the random but frequent bludgeoning of my chair by the child behind me.

Finally I had had enough and turned to the lady behind me:
"Excuse me ma'am, can you get your son to stop kicking my seat?"
"He's not kicking your seat. He was just looking out the window."
"Well, my seat keeps moving from someone hitting it."
"It wasn't him. I'm very conscientious about this."

Oh well it must have been someone else who snuck into the row and kicked my chair then. What the eff is wrong with people? You can't just say something to your kid? You have to argue with a politely worded request? Sorry - this isn't even close to my first flight so I can tell when my chair is being kicked or hit. Hatred simmered and with every bump my rage threatened to boil over until a moment of pure clarity cut through the angry red I was seeing. It was so simple, so glorious:

The father was in front of me.

A simple transfer of momentum was all that was required. Almost giddy with excitement I now eagerly awaited a kick to my seat. There! That was one. I had to temper my transfer lest I stop the game too soon. A slight kick to the seat in front of me was delivered by my foot

Over the next several minutes while junior 'just looked out the window' several times I transferred his momentum to his father who appeared to be trying to sleep.

His son blessed me with a precious gift just as his dad's head nodded off to the side.

*Kick*

Opps - did I disturb him? Oh darn I think I did.

Its probably wrong to think this way but it seemed like every kick was a victory for all those who have been subjected to repeated kickings and for those who had suffered under the torment of poorly parented children. A strike for the underdogs! A strike for the downtrodden! I was a freedom fighter bringing the wrath down upon those who had so tormented us for years. It was glorious and I was happy as I eagerly awaited the signal to strike the next blow for justice

Finally the dad had had enough and turned around
"Can you stop kicking my seat?"
"Oh I'm sorry. Was that bothering you?" *innocent smile* "You see my seat has been being kicked by your son this whole time and I asked your wife to have him to stop. She declined to do so so I am simply transferring the momentum of his kick from my seat to yours."

He looked pretty angry at this and stared me straight in the eyes "Seriously?"

I dropped the smile and stared back. "Seriously. I stop when he stops."

Now he was definitely angry. "Why don't you act like an adult and grow up."

"Why don't you act like a parent and control your kids."

He turned away quickly in quite a huff and I waited for the explosion to follow - curious to see how this played out.

Minutes went by with nothing until the moment of truth when my seat was kicked. I dutifully fulfilled my purpose and kicked the seat in front of me.

He whipped around. This was it. Were we both to be escorted off the plane for a free TSA ball massage and prostate exam?

"Laura!" He bellowed past me. "Get Josh to stop kicking the goddamn seat!"

Victory! I won! I couldn't believe it it was all so amazing, perfect and glorious. My wedding day was nothing compared to this! The birds were singing as sunshine, rainbows, and puppies swirled around my head the rest of the kick free flight. Fondly, I gazed down at my Leg of Dominance.

Oh sure he tried to stare me down when we got off the plane but nothing could wipe the self satisfied smirk off my face as I stared back. It was indeed a wonderful day.
 
I agree, childish.

But, deservedly so. Congratulations on your victory. I hope all other parents on the plane noticed and at least try to control their children better.
 
Nice one, you just struck a blow for all the poor S.O.Bs that have to deal with this crap. I have said for a long time I would gladly pay 30-40% more for a ticket on a plane guaranteed to have over 18s only. The final straw for me was an overnight flight back from dubai on which a mother of a newborn (less than 1 year) baby had decided to book a flight on. We (by that I mean the entire cabin) were subjected to non stop crying from about 3 hours after the plane took off until we landed. The mother declined 3 offers to be taken to the crew area so other passengers could get some rest as "I'm sure he will stop in a minute" roll on 5 1/2 hours of misery for everyone else on board.
 
If your flight doesn't include Newark Liberty International, then it's perhaps the second worst possible route you can fly at best (at worst?).
 
OP you really needed to put your fabricated story on Twitter so you can get a bunch of people to follow you and even "news" to pick the story up and laud you as a hero of the modern age! :sneaky:
 
Genius! Glorious victory! :biggrin:

Childish? Yeah - but we're all childish, and it can be so blissfully righteous at the right time.

And it's always the right time when parents refuse to control their children and demand their little hellspawn actually behave like decent mini humans when in public. My parents expected and demanded that out of me, and I had one hell of a red ass when I forgot.
 
I've only had this "kid with parent nearby is being obnoxious" moment a couple of times, but when it has happened I address the kid directly. Screw the parent. If they wanted to be part of the conversation they should step in before I have to. So I have turned in my seat and addressed a little boy and said "Hey dude, you probably didn't notice you're kicking my seat?" all said with a big smile, of course, and that ended it. The parent just smiled uncomfortably at me.
 
Loved it. And I for one wouldn't consider it childish. How can a parent seriously sit there and do NOTHING about that; I wouldn't let it get much past one or two kicks, much less wait for someone to ask me to have them stop. Planes need to be filled with people considerate of EVERYONE around them.
 
Markbnj said:
I've only had this "kid with parent nearby is being obnoxious" moment a couple of times, but when it has happened I address the kid directly. Screw the parent. If they wanted to be part of the conversation they should step in before I have to. So I have turned in my seat and addressed a little boy and said "Hey dude, you probably didn't notice you're kicking my seat?" all said with a big smile, of course, and that ended it. The parent just smiled uncomfortably at me.
Click to expand...

This is a good route too.

I've actually yet to experience a situation with kids like these scenarios, but both could be equally valid.
Kids do sometimes respond better to strangers who provide that relaxed, respectful tone when making requests - but some kids are so full of hellfire and malice that they'd see that approach as a reason to continue, because they enjoy being little shits that terrorize adults.
 
mvbighead said:
Loved it. And I for one wouldn't consider it childish. How can a parent seriously sit there and do NOTHING about that; I wouldn't let it get much past one or two kicks, much less wait for someone to ask me to have them stop. Planes need to be filled with people considerate of EVERYONE around them.
Click to expand...

Indeed. It's much too late if the stranger feels a need to intervene. I expect if I were a parent I'd prefer a stranger not correct a kid and speak with the adult the handle it, but there are few situations where it can "rightfully" get to that point. Generally, parents agree and strangers agree, which is why we all will likely wait until it boils over before even saying anything. That's far more time than a parent should ever reasonably need to spot the behavior and make their own corrections. If they aren't correcting, I don't care, I'm not putting up with it.
Which is how it also should be - we are supposed to be a social creature, and whether one likes it or not, the community truly does help raise the youth, and it needn't be an entirely passive operation.
 
Exterous said:
We made the unfortunate flight from Orlando to Phoenix last Thursday and I can confirm what I have heard: This is perhaps the worst possible route you can fly. The combination of strollers, wheelchairs, rowdy worn out children with tired cranky parents, crazy long lines of pre-boarders and slow walkers is excessive to say the least. Pro-tip: If you are traveling by yourself and your bag is too heavy to lift 3 inches off the ground perhaps you should check it.

Anyway, I saw a row of three kids and deftly skipped a row to leave a DMZ between me and the seat rocking, crying mayhem that awaited any poor soul seated nearby. As I settled into my window seat, happy to have avoided such terror I thought I was at least mostly in the clear. I mean - what could be worse than sitting behind or in front of a row of three young children?

Fate was not to be kind though and threw something at me that I had not seen before. A family of four opted to split into two groups of 2 and take the seats in front of and directly behind us despite available consecutive rows just behind us. The father opted to sit in front of me and his son behind me.

For the rest of the trip we were subjected to the occasional passing of things back and forth. I was awakened when a tablet hit my head as it was passed to the seat in front of me.

While my noise cancelling headphones allowed me to escape the racket the snot nosed devil spawn that were ubiquitous in the cabin were making they could do nothing to stop the random but frequent bludgeoning of my chair by the child behind me.

Finally I had had enough and turned to the lady behind me:
"Excuse me ma'am, can you get your son to stop kicking my seat?"
"He's not kicking your seat. He was just looking out the window."
"Well, my seat keeps moving from someone hitting it."
"It wasn't him. I'm very conscientious about this."

Oh well it must have been someone else who snuck into the row and kicked my chair then. What the eff is wrong with people? You can't just say something to your kid? You have to argue with a politely worded request? Sorry - this isn't even close to my first flight so I can tell when my chair is being kicked or hit. Hatred simmered and with every bump my rage threatened to boil over until a moment of pure clarity cut through the angry red I was seeing. It was so simple, so glorious:

The father was in front of me.

A simple transfer of momentum was all that was required. Almost giddy with excitement I now eagerly awaited a kick to my seat. There! That was one. I had to temper my transfer lest I stop the game too soon. A slight kick to the seat in front of me was delivered by my foot

Over the next several minutes while junior 'just looked out the window' several times I transferred his momentum to his father who appeared to be trying to sleep.

His son blessed me with a precious gift just as his dad's head nodded off to the side.

*Kick*

Opps - did I disturb him? Oh darn I think I did.

Its probably wrong to think this way but it seemed like every kick was a victory for all those who have been subjected to repeated kickings and for those who had suffered under the torment of poorly parented children. A strike for the underdogs! A strike for the downtrodden! I was a freedom fighter bringing the wrath down upon those who had so tormented us for years. It was glorious and I was happy as I eagerly awaited the signal to strike the next blow for justice

Finally the dad had had enough and turned around
"Can you stop kicking my seat?"
"Oh I'm sorry. Was that bothering you?" *innocent smile* "You see my seat has been being kicked by your son this whole time and I asked your wife to have him to stop. She declined to do so so I am simply transferring the momentum of his kick from my seat to yours."

He looked pretty angry at this and stared me straight in the eyes "Seriously?"

I dropped the smile and stared back. "Seriously. I stop when he stops."

Now he was definitely angry. "Why don't you act like an adult and grow up."

"Why don't you act like a parent and control your kids."

He turned away quickly in quite a huff and I waited for the explosion to follow - curious to see how this played out.

Minutes went by with nothing until the moment of truth when my seat was kicked. I dutifully fulfilled my purpose and kicked the seat in front of me.

He whipped around. This was it. Were we both to be escorted off the plane for a free TSA ball massage and prostate exam?

"Laura!" He bellowed past me. "Get Josh to stop kicking the goddamn seat!"

Victory! I won! I couldn't believe it it was all so amazing, perfect and glorious. My wedding day was nothing compared to this! The birds were singing as sunshine, rainbows, and puppies swirled around my head the rest of the kick free flight. Fondly, I gazed down at my Leg of Dominance.

Oh sure he tried to stare me down when we got off the plane but nothing could wipe the self satisfied smirk off my face as I stared back. It was indeed a wonderful day.
__________________
"Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule." -Friedrich Nietzshe
Click to expand...
:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
 
These are the times when I am glad that I am blessed with being somewhat intimidating-looking. When I'm pissed, people know it; but more than that, I simply know how to put a look on my face that makes people say 'holy shit I think that guy might seriously be about to murder me.'

I think it's gotten worse (better) since I decided to keep a mustache with my chinbeard (or goatee for you fucking frenchies). Totally unshaven, I just kinda look like a bum. But when I'm trimmed up...it's kind of an evil look on me.

Anyway, I probably just wouldn't turned and stared the child down until he cried. Much faster solution. But I do approve of the OP's methodology. However...

You see my seat has been being kicked by your son
Click to expand...

I cannot condone this grammar, sir. It is an affront to the past tense and I will not stand for it. :colbert:
 
destrekor said:
This is a good route too.

I've actually yet to experience a situation with kids like these scenarios, but both could be equally valid.
Kids do sometimes respond better to strangers who provide that relaxed, respectful tone when making requests - but some kids are so full of hellfire and malice that they'd see that approach as a reason to continue, because they enjoy being little shits that terrorize adults.
Click to expand...

That and they know they can get away with it. I personally don't have much shame when it comes to providing embarrassment to others at the expense of embarrassment to myself so long as it gets done what needs to be done. I would probably have done something similar as the OP did.
 
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