I am a terrorist. (weak rant inside)

[Deeko]

Don't get me started on polygraphs....I also went through that whole process, back in August.

I got the full test though, where in addition to the 'are you a terrorist' stuff, I was basically asked everything I've ever done wrong in my life. There isn't much, and this test is generally given to people with shady drug/criminal backgrounds. So the guy basically assumed I was lying, when I wasn't. After going through the whole process, he told me I failed, I needed to "man up" and tell him what I was holding back, etc etc...this went on for almost an hour, him lecturing, me not being allowed to say a word. Eventually he let me take the test again, and surprise! I passed with the same answers.

I was so mad when he was lecturing me that I needed to fess up, when I wasn't lying, I almost stormed out and quit my job. 8 hours total strapped into that chair, it was probably the most stressful day of my life.

 

[SlickSnake]

Originally posted by: Deeko
Don't get me started on polygraphs....I also went through that whole process, back in August.

I got the full test though, where in addition to the 'are you a terrorist' stuff, I was basically asked everything I've ever done wrong in my life. There isn't much, and this test is generally given to people with shady drug/criminal backgrounds. So the guy basically assumed I was lying, when I wasn't. After going through the whole process, he told me I failed, I needed to "man up" and tell him what I was holding back, etc etc...this went on for almost an hour, him lecturing, me not being allowed to say a word. Eventually he let me take the test again, and surprise! I passed with the same answers.

I was so mad when he was lecturing me that I needed to fess up, when I wasn't lying, I almost stormed out and quit my job. 8 hours total strapped into that chair, it was probably the most stressful day of my life.

Damn! At $100 per hour he made a sucker out of you for $800! Don't you miss the good old days when they only got $50 per hour to fail you and kicked you out after the first test?

 

[5to1baby1in5]

Stick a tack in your shoe, and when they ask you if your name is <insert your real name here>, push down on the pointy part with your big toe until it hurts. Do the same for other random questions.

Ought to be good for a laugh.

:evil:

 

[OutHouse]

i will never take a polygraph.

 

[Deeko]

Damn! At $100 per hour he made a sucker out of you for $800! Don't you miss the good old days when they only got $50 per hour to fail you and kicked you out after the first test?

Well, he didn't really make a sucker out of me...I wasn't paying for it, and neither was my employer. The customer for the project they hired me to do paid for it. Oh, and that project had its budget withdrawn a week after I started, but the process had already begun so they were still paying for it. And your tax dollars fund that customer. So, really, that guy made a sucker out of all of us here.

 

[BooGiMaN]

answer yes or no...

have you thought about bombing the polygraph place?

have you thought about killing everyone inside?

now please tell us, how long have you had these terrosists thoughts?

 

[TheCanuck]

Originally posted by: SlickSnake
Polygraphs are about as reliable as voodoo.

It is all about how comfortable or uncomfortable the examiner makes you feel who is giving you the exam. I had some preemployment polygraphs a long time ago. For one job, I passed with flying colors. For another job, with a different examiner, He told me I utterly failed the test, and it was similar questions, even failing it when answering about my name on the control questions! LOL!

The guy that failed me was some excop. He was a complete jerk for the entire test, and made all kinds of comments about how great he was and all the murderers and thieves he helped catch using the polygraph. He made all kinds of sarcastic remarks to me before the test, I think just to make sure I failed it. The first guy that tested me was trained as a psychologist, and was completely laid back and his mellow attitude did not influence my test results negatively. The testers attitude is where the voodoo comes into play.

The scam the guy who failed me was using was: he was getting more business from the grocery store where I was applying at by failing most of the applicants. When I went back to the store and talked to the manager complaining about the polygraphers style, or lack of it, he claimed he had failed 3 cashiers over a shortage in one of the registers one time, and obviously not all the 3 cashiers had stolen the money. But they all got fired. I asked him why he even still used this guy, and he told me it was corporates decision, not his. When I asked him if I could take it again somewhere else even if I paid for it and give him the results, he said no. This examiner had a cash cow on his hands at $50 a pop just by simply failing the majority of applicants this store sent him. Voodoo indeed.

What kind of Nazi grocery store makes you take a polygraph for a job? That should've been a red flag right there that you don't want to work for them!

 

[flashbacck]

Originally posted by: Deeko
Don't get me started on polygraphs....I also went through that whole process, back in August.

I got the full test though, where in addition to the 'are you a terrorist' stuff, I was basically asked everything I've ever done wrong in my life. There isn't much, and this test is generally given to people with shady drug/criminal backgrounds. So the guy basically assumed I was lying, when I wasn't. After going through the whole process, he told me I failed, I needed to "man up" and tell him what I was holding back, etc etc...this went on for almost an hour, him lecturing, me not being allowed to say a word. Eventually he let me take the test again, and surprise! I passed with the same answers.

I was so mad when he was lecturing me that I needed to fess up, when I wasn't lying, I almost stormed out and quit my job. 8 hours total strapped into that chair, it was probably the most stressful day of my life.

Isn't that standard? I was under the impression they make you as uncomfortable as possible, because that's when a person's concentration starts to break down and you can't control your physiological stats (sweating, breathing, etcetc).

 

[SlickSnake]

Food Basket. The store closed down like a year later, but I think the ghost of Food Basket lives on as Market Basket.

Also Tom Thumb was giving pre employment polygraphs for management, too.

 

[SlickSnake]

Originally posted by: flashbacck

Originally posted by: Deeko
Don't get me started on polygraphs....I also went through that whole process, back in August.

I got the full test though, where in addition to the 'are you a terrorist' stuff, I was basically asked everything I've ever done wrong in my life. There isn't much, and this test is generally given to people with shady drug/criminal backgrounds. So the guy basically assumed I was lying, when I wasn't. After going through the whole process, he told me I failed, I needed to "man up" and tell him what I was holding back, etc etc...this went on for almost an hour, him lecturing, me not being allowed to say a word. Eventually he let me take the test again, and surprise! I passed with the same answers.

I was so mad when he was lecturing me that I needed to fess up, when I wasn't lying, I almost stormed out and quit my job. 8 hours total strapped into that chair, it was probably the most stressful day of my life.

Isn't that standard? I was under the impression they make you as uncomfortable as possible, because that's when a person's concentration starts to break down and you can't control your physiological stats (sweating, breathing, etcetc).

Nope, not standard at all. But if they want to catch you supposedly lying, they do this to make it easier to falsely trap people into confessing, I guess. You can't get a good result if the polygraph victim is in an agitated state at all. Which is why they tell you to not move your eyes around, and either close them or stare at some fixed point on a wall.

 

[Jeeebus]

I would suggest answering your next polygraph like Christian Bale

 

[Throckmorton]

Originally posted by: Codewiz
"No wonder there's no talent in the government. All the smart people leave for industry to make twice as much money for a tenth of the hassle. I'm not too far behind. "

The talented people who are in the government do it for one reason alone. They do it to serve their country in a different way.

A different way from what?

 

[Deeko]

Originally posted by: SlickSnake

Originally posted by: flashbacck

Isn't that standard? I was under the impression they make you as uncomfortable as possible, because that's when a person's concentration starts to break down and you can't control your physiological stats (sweating, breathing, etcetc).

Nope, not standard at all. But if they want to catch you supposedly lying, they do this to make it easier to falsely trap people into confessing, I guess. You can't get a good result if the polygraph victim is in an agitated state at all. Which is why they tell you to not move your eyes around, and either close them or stare at some fixed point on a wall.

Yup. If you're nervous or agitated, you throw off the results, they want you to be calm...unless you're lying.

Basically, the way I took it, he couldn't get a "good read" on me, so he wanted to scare me into telling him things I was holding back. Problem is, I WASN'T holding anything back, which is why it was so frustrating.

 

[thomsbrain]

Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
Polygraph examiners can make the tests bend to their will, not to mention that the test itself is barely more accurate than chance. Read the 2003 NAS report on polygraphs, they're horrible.

Which is why it is illegal for employers to use them... except for the government. Brings new meaning to the phrase "good enough for government work."

 

[lyssword]

When they ask control question, squeeze your butt. It will raise your blood pressure and they won't be able to detect shit (no pun intended ) There must be other tricks too.