The b/f has had a dog for almost 17yrs. And the arthritus in the dog's back is so bad that she can longer use her legs. His mother called last night and she cannot walk or anything. So, he took the dog to the vet today to have her put to sleep. She has been in pain for quite a while and it is time.
He just called me.. he took her to the park for a special lunch. She is laying in the grass with him and he was on the phone crying his eyes out. He says she knows. And she is ready.
I could not go with him. The thought of what is happening has me sitting here, crying to the point where I can hardly breathe. But I just cannot be there, to take this pet to the vet for this. I do not have it in me to do this. I will comfort the b/f and cry with him when he gets home, but I cannot sit in the jeep looking at the dog, knowing where she is going.
I feel really guilty about not being able to go and I hate myself for it, but just cannot do it. The b/f is a big tough guy, and hearing him cry on the phone makes me so fvcked up, i ... i cannot find the words for it.
I am a horrible g/f.
Update
I went to go to the vet's office... just to sit in the waiting room. Just to be there for the b/f, ya know?
so I left the house and went to get in my car, and he called my name. He was sitting in the jeep, in the parking lot across the street. He knew where I was going and said thanks and that he loved me, but he did not want me there... ONLY because he did not want to put me thru that.
He went to his mom's house to get her. he had to bathe her first... since she cannot walk or move her hind legs, she was ... she needed to be bathed first. I dont know what it takes of a person to do this... to bathe a dog for the last time. To have her trusting eyes look up at him while he washed her, knowing where he was taking her. That is a strength that I could never find within myself.
So, he took her to the park and loved her for a while. He said that she knew this would be her last day. He said that he believes that she was ready. She has been in pain for some time and was ready to go.
He was kissing her and talking to her while she went. He said it was very quick since she was really ready for this. He came home and sat in the jeep for a few minutes to collect himself so he did not have to come in as a wreck and upset me. Again, this type of strength escapes me.
Now he is gone to see his mom. She is a big softy and was devistated by this. And since they raised this dog together, he wants to go see her alone and not have her embarrassed by falling to pieces by anyone else.
for Casey!
and :heart: for the b/f!
UPDATE 2
!Wow! I am surprised at all the responses and kind posts in this thread.
Here is an update:
It was a really crappy weekend here. I took the b/f out on Thursday and got him drunk but that was a fleeting respite. He was a wreck on Friday, and did not go to work. Nor did he work on Saturday or Sunday. There was a deafening silence in this house and the only clear thing I heard was the sound of his heart breaking. He spent a lot of time puttering around in the garage, and when he was in the house, I felt about as useful as a chocolate fire grate. I am not good at walking on eggshells. He brought her blanket home with him. All of our cats shied away from it immediately, he said because it smelled of death. It is now haging on the line in the backyard and I am not sure if I should remove it so he doesnt have to, or to leave it there out of respect until he is ready to put it away.
Monday was much of the same, but we talked a lot. What he went thru with Casey was pretty much the straw that broke the camels back. He has a lot of stuff going on right now, and was just trying to get all his responsibilites taken care of when this hit him. And to be honest, he is a real hardass outside the house... but ... well, to be honest, he has a separate look in his eyes, tone in his voice and demeanor that is dedicated to when he walks in the front door and is reserved only for me, VeggieFrog and our animals. He is a huge softie for us. This really hit him hard and here is the only place he could express that.
Anyway... yesterday he laughed and something on teevee and I just took his hand and did not say a word. He look at me and said 'thank you for being so patient and understanding'. To be honest, I had stopped being patient on Monday morning, but love him, so I faked it. He said that there were times that he felt the depression lifting, when it would sneak up on him and hit him hard. He asked me if i understood. HA! He was asking someone who spent 6yrs on Paxil, going to work and going thru everyday daily responsibilities while secretly wanting to be home hurting themselves if they understood depression. I understood.
So, I softly and lovingly told him that while i understood how he felt and that I was here for him if needed, he had stuff to do that was piling up and he needed to start getting his stuff together. He needed to go back to work, help his brother and get back to daily life... even if he felt bad. It would ease with every day, but if he did not get his stuff done, it would only get worse. He would start drowning.
So, he went to the dentist today, will help his brother tommorrow and go back to work on Friday.
He read most of this tread and teared up at it a few times. Not only for the sharing of stories of some of the members, but also for the outpouring of support and kind words from ppl he did not even know. He asked that I extend his most heartfelt thanks to you all.
To answer the questions... Casey was a rottie. Not the round headed kind but the longer snouted one. 17yrs is a long time to live for a rottie, and I attribute her lifespan directly to the love and care she got from him and his mom. As for pics. There is one below that he took when she was in the jeep on the way to the park. There are more, but I dont want to wait and drag up this thread when he finally gets around to finding them.
Casey
So, in closing, please let me say thank you to everyone... I really mean it... for all your kind words and wishes. It really means a lot to me.
If anyone turns this into a flame war, I will personally break out the fire hose and wash all the trash out the door.
AnandTech Moderator
He just called me.. he took her to the park for a special lunch. She is laying in the grass with him and he was on the phone crying his eyes out. He says she knows. And she is ready.
I could not go with him. The thought of what is happening has me sitting here, crying to the point where I can hardly breathe. But I just cannot be there, to take this pet to the vet for this. I do not have it in me to do this. I will comfort the b/f and cry with him when he gets home, but I cannot sit in the jeep looking at the dog, knowing where she is going.
I feel really guilty about not being able to go and I hate myself for it, but just cannot do it. The b/f is a big tough guy, and hearing him cry on the phone makes me so fvcked up, i ... i cannot find the words for it.
I am a horrible g/f.
Update
I went to go to the vet's office... just to sit in the waiting room. Just to be there for the b/f, ya know?
so I left the house and went to get in my car, and he called my name. He was sitting in the jeep, in the parking lot across the street. He knew where I was going and said thanks and that he loved me, but he did not want me there... ONLY because he did not want to put me thru that.
He went to his mom's house to get her. he had to bathe her first... since she cannot walk or move her hind legs, she was ... she needed to be bathed first. I dont know what it takes of a person to do this... to bathe a dog for the last time. To have her trusting eyes look up at him while he washed her, knowing where he was taking her. That is a strength that I could never find within myself.
So, he took her to the park and loved her for a while. He said that she knew this would be her last day. He said that he believes that she was ready. She has been in pain for some time and was ready to go.
He was kissing her and talking to her while she went. He said it was very quick since she was really ready for this. He came home and sat in the jeep for a few minutes to collect himself so he did not have to come in as a wreck and upset me. Again, this type of strength escapes me.
Now he is gone to see his mom. She is a big softy and was devistated by this. And since they raised this dog together, he wants to go see her alone and not have her embarrassed by falling to pieces by anyone else.
for Casey!
UPDATE 2
!Wow! I am surprised at all the responses and kind posts in this thread.
Here is an update:
It was a really crappy weekend here. I took the b/f out on Thursday and got him drunk but that was a fleeting respite. He was a wreck on Friday, and did not go to work. Nor did he work on Saturday or Sunday. There was a deafening silence in this house and the only clear thing I heard was the sound of his heart breaking. He spent a lot of time puttering around in the garage, and when he was in the house, I felt about as useful as a chocolate fire grate. I am not good at walking on eggshells. He brought her blanket home with him. All of our cats shied away from it immediately, he said because it smelled of death. It is now haging on the line in the backyard and I am not sure if I should remove it so he doesnt have to, or to leave it there out of respect until he is ready to put it away.
Monday was much of the same, but we talked a lot. What he went thru with Casey was pretty much the straw that broke the camels back. He has a lot of stuff going on right now, and was just trying to get all his responsibilites taken care of when this hit him. And to be honest, he is a real hardass outside the house... but ... well, to be honest, he has a separate look in his eyes, tone in his voice and demeanor that is dedicated to when he walks in the front door and is reserved only for me, VeggieFrog and our animals. He is a huge softie for us. This really hit him hard and here is the only place he could express that.
Anyway... yesterday he laughed and something on teevee and I just took his hand and did not say a word. He look at me and said 'thank you for being so patient and understanding'. To be honest, I had stopped being patient on Monday morning, but love him, so I faked it.
He said that there were times that he felt the depression lifting, when it would sneak up on him and hit him hard. He asked me if i understood. HA! He was asking someone who spent 6yrs on Paxil, going to work and going thru everyday daily responsibilities while secretly wanting to be home hurting themselves if they understood depression. I understood. So, I softly and lovingly told him that while i understood how he felt and that I was here for him if needed, he had stuff to do that was piling up and he needed to start getting his stuff together. He needed to go back to work, help his brother and get back to daily life... even if he felt bad. It would ease with every day, but if he did not get his stuff done, it would only get worse. He would start drowning.
So, he went to the dentist today, will help his brother tommorrow and go back to work on Friday.
He read most of this tread and teared up at it a few times. Not only for the sharing of stories of some of the members, but also for the outpouring of support and kind words from ppl he did not even know. He asked that I extend his most heartfelt thanks to you all.
To answer the questions... Casey was a rottie. Not the round headed kind but the longer snouted one. 17yrs is a long time to live for a rottie, and I attribute her lifespan directly to the love and care she got from him and his mom. As for pics. There is one below that he took when she was in the jeep on the way to the park. There are more, but I dont want to wait and drag up this thread when he finally gets around to finding them.
Casey
So, in closing, please let me say thank you to everyone... I really mean it... for all your kind words and wishes. It really means a lot to me.
If anyone turns this into a flame war, I will personally break out the fire hose and wash all the trash out the door.
AnandTech Moderator
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