How's This for a flame?!!!

Toggle sidebar Toggle sidebar
L

LackCash

Member
Dec 17, 2003
158
0
0
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. ah heck off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you

Sorry, I can't do cliffs. It must be read in its entirety

Bwahahahahahaha!!!

I am the Watchful Mod, and I have the biggest and baddest FLAMETHROWER of anyone here. Members cower when I pull it out and fire it up. Bwahahahahahaha!!!

Watchful Mod
 
DannyBoy

DannyBoy

Diamond Member
Nov 27, 2002
8,820
2
81
www.danj.me
You joined 2 weeks ago and your flaming already?

Prepare to be flamed back, harshly...

This is of course when everyone wakes up.

Im off to bed.
 
P

PlatinumGold

Lifer
Aug 11, 2000
23,168
0
71
not very effective as most anyone would have stopped reading or listening after the first 3 or 4 words.

the most effective slams or flames are simple and direct.
 
L

LackCash

Member
Dec 17, 2003
158
0
0
It was hard for me to get through. It's pretty good though, a lot more creative than "Fvck you". I didn't write it but I saw it on another forum and felt I should share it.
 
M

Mill

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
28,558
3
81
I love a good flame, but that is so dull and stupid that I cried instead. :gift:
 
F

Fausto

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2000
26,521
2
0
I've seen better...

Quit spraying spittle and train yourself to shut the f*ck up
and look me in the eye when I grab you by the neck. Manners!
Didn't you go to Eton?

Now, look, boy. I grew up with blowhards. I've worked with
blowhards all my life; I must regularly socialize with
blowhards; and when I die, odds are I'll be buried by blowhards.

I know blowhards, Lloyd, and you're no blowhard.

You could work like Stakhanov all your life and still not make
it to blowhard junior grade. If John Perry pinned a tin star
on your tie and made you deputy blowhard the tack would fall
out the first time you bent over to drool on your shoes. You
couldn't even be a substitute blowhard; you couldn't fill in
for five minutes while the regular blowhard was in the bathroom
picking the pubic hair out of his teeth.

What are you? You're nothing. You're empty air; you have not
the substance or character of a puffball. You could no more be
a blowhard than the clouds turn to butter and fall from the sky.

Your only dignity you find in pesthood. You have the clotted
smugness of a mosquito fed to bursting off a corpse in a ditch.
It is not much, but it becomes you. Far be it from me to deny
a man his ambitions. If whining is your only pen to mark the
world, then by all means write your name in bold.

But write it elsewhere. You've been the wad of chewing gum
stuck to the underside of this newsgroup for as long as I know,
and in all that time I cannot remember being amused by your
words even once. Not once. You are constantly, gratingly,
abominably dull.

Yes. Yes, Lloyd, you are boring. You are more boring than
sand. You are more boring than bricks; if you stood still in
San Francisco the building inspectors would garb you in
unreinforced-masonry citations. You are more boring even than
that little brown lizard, the basilisk of old; it is a wonder
that all who see you do not turn instantly to stone. You are
just, plain, f*cking, boring.

I hope this comes as no surprise to you. God forbid you
discover your insipidity in one great gout of truth; it is a
pox that must be diagnosed as slowly as it heals. Perhaps you
don't know it, in which case the gods have pity on you; perhaps
you do, in which case you're just a common or garden asshole.

Or at least that's my opinion. And though I'm no arbiter of
the heavens I have never heard anyone speak your name without a
sort of slight frown, as of a beetle discovered in cheese. If
you're a caper anyone ordered in his soup, let him speak now.

Yes. Anyone? Is there a subtlety in Lloyd Wood that I have
lost, a secret grace in his flounderings? Has my bile draped a
drab curtain over the jewels in his heart? Is he a prize, a
man of wit and taste, a pearl in the mud? Is there any gold at
all in his pyrite?

Tell me, someone, or I'll assume the worst.

Which is bad; but not so bad. Lloyd, Lloyd, fear not our ire.
There are many of your kind in the world, perhaps many more
than ours.

But this is not your rock to hide under. The itch in your
spiracles is no phantom pox; you are not at home here. No matter
how deep you burrow our mud will never be yours. Stop trying.

You pollute this place. You cast your sh*t upon the waters and
drive away the fish. Go forth and find your own. Go, go, go.
Set your feet adance; make haste; get thee gone.

Git.

And don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

c

Now, FVCK OFF.
Click to expand...
 
M

mflacy

Golden Member
Aug 8, 2001
1,910
0
0
Perhaps people wouldn't need cliff notes if you were smart enough to break it into paragraphs.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

COMPANY
RESOURCES
FOLLOW
Top Bottom