How would you dispose of a body?

[DurocShark]

Originally posted by: aircooled

Originally posted by: DurocShark
Step 1: Buy cheap chainsaw.
Step 2: Rent boat.
Step 3: Take out to sea.
Step 4: Chop up body in little pieces.
Step 5: Chum water with pieces.
Step 6: Watch whales.
Step 7: Rinse off boat.
Step 8: Have a brewski.
Step 9: Return boat.

You up for a boating trip?

Well, makes more sense than most of the other crap posted. This way destroys the large bones that would clue someone in to the fact that a human corpse is around... Teeth sink, and nobody would say anything if they found a fish with a tooth or bone fragment in its gut.

Plus it gets taken care of all at once, no driving around the country with body parts, and the mess is easily done away with since most boats have a seawater hose w/pump to hose the boat down. An electric chainsaw would be quiet and disposable (drop it over the side).

My friends and I have spent many a drunk night discussing just this situation.

 

[obiwaynekenobi]

Well Logically throwing a body in water attached to rocks never works because people try it.

bodies float because of excess air in the blood and lungs,

people can be Identified by hair and teeth as well.

so just for basis, for starters

Puncture the lungs fill with water.
Pull teeth
Scalp+shave entire body (Don't forget those pesky nose hairs)
Yank Fingernails

visual confirmation is a secondary identificantion. So you'd need to mangle the face as well.

But you can still get DNA from Skin Graphins.

so now you need to at least Burn the flesh. so Fire is nessecisary.

so now you need to do

Puncture the lungs fill with water.
Pull teeth
Scalp+shave entire body (Don't forget those pesky nose hairs)
Yank Fingernails+toe nails
Fane mangle
start the corpse on fire.

Burning flesh Smells bad. so you'd need to do it somewhere that the public would not notice the smell. If you live in New Jersey, this isn't so much of a problem. The smell of Burning flesh is 50% of the air content there anyway.

outside of that your better off finding some what to chop up the corpse so it'll burn easier in chunks.

now bone marrow also carries DNA.

A Grinder/Woodchipper is needed to Grind it up into Dust.

Take the remaining dust and throw it off a large bridge into a body of water.

there problem solved.

don't forget the grind the teeth as well.

 

[badmouse]

Having thought about this for a while, I'd:

Sit the body in a seat at a movie theater
Put a cell phone in it's hand
Wait until a crucial scene in the movie and call the cell phone.


That ought to do it.