• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

How to say 'no' when invited to an uncomfortable event???

redgtxdi

redgtxdi

Diamond Member
So, the wife & I have been invited to a 'bbq/birthday' celebration by another couple. Sounds fine.

Association with this couple is that our daughters both go to the same private school. Here's where the 'ackward' part comes in.........

#1.) ------We're the kind of folks who are "barely able to afford private school".

#2.) ------They're the kind who "get the new gymnasium" named after them due to their contributions!!

#3.)-------They're also about a half generation older than we are, but I don't really have a problem with that.

#4.)-------As such, there's also the ackward giving of a "present" to the wife (remember, only a couple play dates, we don't really know them that well) and what do you get the 'millionaire couple' for a gift?

#5.)-------Last but not least, we're dropping our daughter off for another 'play date' up there so we have to go there to pick her up anyway.

Suggestions?? Or are we just hosed?? :gift:
 
Make up a "prior engagement". If you've already told them you're free, then "something came up".
 
Originally posted by: SlitheryDee
Make up a "prior engagement". If you've already told them you're free, then "something came up".
Click to expand...

Ya, that's basically what I'm thinking, just so friggin' obvious though, ain't it??

That's when you get the obligatory 'head-nod' & it becomes almost impossible to NOT read the virtual comic dialogue box above their head that says in bold neon colors.....

:light: "THEY TOTALLY HAVE NOTHING GOING ON, THEY'RE JUST DITCHING OUR INVITE!" :light:

😱
 
If you are adamantly opposed to going, don't go, but . . . why not?

But, hey, they're monied! The food and ambiance should be great.

If a big part of your reason is the cost of a present, don't let that stand in your way. Put more thought and creativity than raw dollars into what you chose. "Grill" your daughter until you get a better understanding of what her friend's Mom might like.

This is a social opportunity, and it was quite gracious of them to invite you. But, yeah, the level of openness and graciousness with which you respond is entirely up to you, it's your life.

One thing, if by play date "up there" you mean their very house where the party will be ON the day it will be . . . Christ, man, go already.
 
"Gosh...thanks for the wonderful invitation, but sadly, we have another engagement that day. We're having the oil and muffler bearings changed in our Yugo and just can't put it off any longer. If we'd ONLY have known earlier..."
 
Way to assume they are not down to earth people by how much money they make. People are people, why not go to this one event and see what it is like before assuming that you will be out of place. It seems to me like you are just acting socially awkward.
 
Originally posted by: barfo
You could benefit from being in good terms with this couple.
Click to expand...

Ya, that speaks to my 'male' side. The wife is less motivated than I am.

I'm kinda' rackin' my brain more for her than anything.

(LOL at the muffler bearings/Yugo)


EDIT: And, yes, it's all going down TODAY/TONIGHT!!! Kid's getting dropped off right now & we're supposed to pick her up "later" which almost inks the deal right there!!!

😛
 
Just bring a decent bottle of wine or a fruit basket...its not like they are going to expect you to give them a new yacht.

Some of my best friends are exactly their type. Older than me, more well off than me...I had to get over my fear and self pity and accept their friendship. I'm very glad I did though.
 
Well, looks like we're going.

I told the wife........"We'll see what the douche-nozzles over at ATOT can come up with".


Needless to say.......

😉

😛

😀

I had to tell her, "Douche-nozzles got nuttin', babe" :laugh:
 
Some of the best friends I've had in life have been much poorer than me. You really shouldn't hold this against them, I never did. It's kind of like being too good looking, people assume that those kind of people don't need friends because they should be popular and have many friends and lovers due to their good looks. But often the opposite it true. Give them a chance.
 
Give her a book as a gift - you must have something around the house that's new and wrappable. It's very hard to get the "right" book for someone you don't know, so don't sweat it, just give her something random.

Have a great time at the party!
 
Originally posted by: redgtxdi
Originally posted by: SlitheryDee
Make up a "prior engagement". If you've already told them you're free, then "something came up".
Click to expand...

Ya, that's basically what I'm thinking, just so friggin' obvious though, ain't it??

That's when you get the obligatory 'head-nod' & it becomes almost impossible to NOT read the virtual comic dialogue box above their head that says in bold neon colors.....

:light: "THEY TOTALLY HAVE NOTHING GOING ON, THEY'RE JUST DITCHING OUR INVITE!" :light:

😱
Click to expand...
Get into the habit of not explaining yourself. At that level of society it seems inappropriate. Just say you recently got sadled with another engagement and cant get out of it.
People that rich tend to know better than to ask questions. Its considered "impolite" in polite society.
As opposed to my cousins on the farm who have to know every single god damn thing I'm up to every day. :|
 
I am guessing that the other couple is not sitting at home wondering if you will grace them with your presence. If you don't want to go, don't go. At the party, they will likely not notice.
 
Originally posted by: redgtxdi

#1.) ------We're the kind of folks who are "barely able to afford private school".

So what?

#2.) ------They're the kind who "get the new gymnasium" named after them due to their contributions!!

Once again, so what?

#3.)-------They're also about a half generation older than we are, but I don't really have a problem with that.

Age isn't a big deal

#4.)-------As such, there's also the ackward giving of a "present" to the wife (remember, only a couple play dates, we don't really know them that well) and what do you get the 'millionaire couple' for a gift?

Same crap you get a normal couple for a gift at these kind of events
Click to expand...



Money is not a big separator like you think it is. Trust me. I grew up with tons of rich kids. I know people with houses on 4 lots, people with two stories of basements alone, people with indoor tennis courts, people who gave the land to the big local college, etc.

I lived in a 3 bedroom 2 bath house just like an average person. I've had no trouble associating with rich people. People are people, irregardless of income.
 
Originally posted by: Leros
Age and money are not a big of a separator as you think.
Click to expand...

I didn't say they were.
BTW, sorry I missed jumping out of your cake. RossMAN kept me up late the night before and I was.. tied up.
 
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
I am guessing that the other couple is not sitting at home wondering if you will grace them with your presence. If you don't want to go, don't go. At the party, they will likely not notice.
Click to expand...

Actually, I think quite the opposite is true. They seem to really be inspired to "get together" with us. (Eyes wide shut? LOL)

But, obviously, nothing regarding a bbq get-together is the end of the world.


We're definitely going, just gonna play it by ear. Wife's gonna do the "bath & bodyworks" universal-gift solution.

I'll probably bring Coors Light suitcase, slap it on top of the grand piano in the foyer, rip it open & come up w/ something like.......

I BET YOU COULD USE A COLD-ONE, EH CLARK??

rotflmao

😛
 
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Originally posted by: Leros
Age and money are not a big of a separator as you think.
Click to expand...

I didn't say they were.
BTW, sorry I missed jumping out of your cake. RossMAN kept me up late the night before and I was.. tied up.
Click to expand...

My birthday is coming up soon :lips:
 
Originally posted by: redgtxdi
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
I am guessing that the other couple is not sitting at home wondering if you will grace them with your presence. If you don't want to go, don't go. At the party, they will likely not notice.
Click to expand...

Actually, I think quite the opposite is true. They seem to really be inspired to "get together" with us. (Eyes wide shut? LOL)

But, obviously, nothing regarding a bbq get-together is the end of the world.


We're definitely going, just gonna play it by ear. Wife's gonna do the "bath & bodyworks" universal-gift solution.

I'll probably bring a Coors suitcase, slap it on top of the grand piano in the foyer, rip it open & come up w/ something like.......

I BET YOU COULD USE A COLD-ONE, EH CLARK??

rotflmao

😛
Click to expand...

Had to repost to glorify my killer line.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top