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How to Sabotage Fausto/Armstrong/Other Professional Cyclists?

GTaudiophile

GTaudiophile

Lifer
One of my colleagues made a family picnic event this past weekend out of the Tour de Georgia. Her husband stood watching the cyclists whilst drinking a glass of red wine when one of the cyclists pointed and motioned to want to grab the glass. The cyclist of course was joking and sped on by.

But this got the "Dr. Evil" in me to start thinking. You know those guys who stand by the course with giant water coolers and hand the cyclists water as they pedal by? Well, what would stop someone from filling one of those paper cups to the brim with vodka? Cyclists tend to down the contents of these cups pretty fast without looking, so chances would be good to complete the sabotage.

Of course, a cup full of vodka would have several negative effects:

1) Initial burning sensation of alcohol
2) Would dehydrate the cyclist
3) Would make the cyclist tipsy.

So, why hasn't some French, Armstrong-hating maniac pulled something like this yet?
 
Okay, serious answer: most cyclists won't accept water from fans unless they cap on top is sealed for this very reason. You just don't know WTF they're handing you.
 
Something to initiate an enema may work better. I suspect that riding a bike with a case of the runs would be difficult.
 
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Something to initiate an enema may work better. I suspect that riding a bike with a case of the runs would be difficult.
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Is that why Mill was handing out Lite in cans at Anniston? 😛
 
By the way, I'm not a pro. I pay money to get my ass kicked every weekend. So far my biggest take-home after all the expenses was $40 for the Savannah weekend. 😱
 
Originally posted by: Fausto
The German fans were apparently the big problem on L'Alpe d'Huez last year.
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The Germans around us (yes we were there, wo0t!) respected us enough, I guess, to not do anything stupid. That being said, most of the younger ones were drunk for what appeared to be a couple of days (and nights... late into the night) running. 😀

But back to the OP... I'm surprised I haven't heard of more stuff like that going on. I think it's always a concern for cyclists that someone could spike a drink on the side of the road, possibly with a banned substance (to cause a DQ), among other things.

Edit: plus our US flag was bigger than most of the German flags there. And now that I've posted I rember a good story. On the day of the TT on AdH, we walke down the slope 1km from our spot and back up, parading our flag through thousands of German fans. I PWNED one particularly obnoxious (and drunk) German as follows: he talked some belligerent smack in broken English, to which I replied "So you speak English, I see. Do you know what '1997' is?", "What"?" "The last year Ullrich won the Tour sucka!". 😀
 
Now that I think about it, this reminds me of the great movie Breaking Away. Not to spoil it, but late in the movie someone pulls something like that nasty stick trick mentioned in the post above.
 
There was a tonight show segment where they sent steve shirripa (bobby on the sopranos) to the boston marathon. He handed out a lot of stuff like this. Voda shots, various italian food like pizzas, etc. It wasn't really sabotage though because he was telling them what it was.
 
If you chilled the vodka to a fraction above it's freezing temperature it'd take that little bit longer to notice.

From experience you can have one hell of a gulp of vodka if you're expecting water before you notice. It sucked because I was supposed to be drigin that night and I grabbed my mate's bottle and took a big gulp as you would water.
 
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