• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

How to politely turn down request for help after saying yes multiple times

Just tell him/her? If it takes time and could possibly get you in trouble then any sane person would understand.
 
I always say "stop being a deadbeat" That's polite for Z. I reference Mel Gibson on occasion when called for..
 
You're not going to be able to do it without stepping on his feelings a bit. That's ok though. Usually the type of person who is constantly asking for stuff is also the type of person who doesn't let their feelings get in the way of bothering other people for favors. I promise you that no matter how harsh you are, they'll be back to asking you for shit in a month and they'll continue until they determine that they aren't getting anything else out of you.
 
If they ask for help on the phone, then tell them "I'm sorry, I can't come to the phone right now, this is a recording. beeeep"

If they ask you in person, tell them your busy, and you'd like them to call you to discuss.
 
I had a homeless guy coming by my house every few weeks for a while, and I gave him a dollar or two most times. I even gave him some ibuprofen and a soda when his hand was bothering him (Brown Recluse bite, nasty nasty).

He came by once when I had no money, and my SO told him we didn't have anything for him. That night someone stole some change out of my car, and I had never had anything stolen before (or since). So next time he stopped by I told him I couldn't help him anymore, because I suspected that he was the one who stole the change and that I really didn't appreciate that. He denied stealing it of course, but I refused to believe him and sent him on his way, telling him I won't be helping him anymore. Haven't seen him since.

Just man up and tell it like it is.
 
You need to take control here and look out for your own best interests. If this person is willing to jeopardize your well being for his gain than fxck him. Cut him loose!

My wife has a junkie cousin that would show up on the porch and bum 10 bucks from her from time to time. The rest of the family had cut him off and she was the last "enabler". Finally I stepped in and made her turn him away. She said no and he left the porch yelling that he was going to go kill himself.

She cried for a few weeks about it, but that was the final straw for him now 6 months later he's living in a recovery house trying to stay clean and so far doing ok. So sometimes NOT helping is exactly what they need.
 
Last edited:
Don't offer an elaborate excuse or justification. Simply and firmly say, "I'm sorry, I have decided I am not going to be involved in this any more." Be prepared for reactions like...

- trying to shame you into doing it again (You do not have to feel badly)
- anger that you are turning your back on a friend (You already helped numerous times)
- begging for your help because there's nowhere else he can turn (Again, you already helped many times, you are not obligated to do so forever)
- veiled hints that if something terrible happens to him, it will be your fault (You are not responsible for someone else's actions)

Stand your ground. Repeat what you said - "No, I have decided I am not going to be involved in this any more." Then stop talking. If you have to say something else, then say, "My decision is final." Any attempt to justify your position will be met by counter-arguments and will only cause the discussion to move away from "NO" towards "you haven't adequately defended your decision, so you must change your mind."
 
Just flat out say that you can't do it the next time they ask.

If they question you, just use the reason you posted, don't feel like getting in trouble.
 
gersson said:
An acquaintace asked for a favor to help them get out of trouble so I agreed. The problem is that it's becoming a recurring issue and I've already agreed to help in the past many times.

Since helping this person can lead me into getting in trouble I decided I don't want to do this anymore.
Click to expand...

Just tell them you don't want to help them bury the bodies of their victims anymore.

Tell them your shovel is broken.

If they persist, advise anger management course therapy, a plea bargain with the DA, or, if they are determined to continue, investing in a backhoe.
 
It's all part of my mental techniques
Available to freaks and pencil neck geeks
Train the same brain to a insane train of thought
On a campaign trail he came to gain ya support
Charge cash for a autograph
 
"I know that I've helped you before with this, but I'm not going to be able to do it anymore. Sorry."
 
I would say no and then hang-up. They'll get the message when they don't have an audience.

*having read the first post again - you say acquaintance and not friend. No need to even answer their call then.
 
"Dude. I can't keep bailing you out of this shit. You keep on doing the same old shit...then coming to me for help. You just don't learn. It's gotta stop somewhere...so I'm not gonna help you out this time."
 
kranky said:
Don't offer an elaborate excuse or justification. Simply and firmly say, "I'm sorry, I have decided I am not going to be involved in this any more." Be prepared for reactions like...

- trying to shame you into doing it again (You do not have to feel badly)
- anger that you are turning your back on a friend (You already helped numerous times)
- begging for your help because there's nowhere else he can turn (Again, you already helped many times, you are not obligated to do so forever)
- veiled hints that if something terrible happens to him, it will be your fault (You are not responsible for someone else's actions)

Stand your ground. Repeat what you said - "No, I have decided I am not going to be involved in this any more." Then stop talking. If you have to say something else, then say, "My decision is final." Any attempt to justify your position will be met by counter-arguments and will only cause the discussion to move away from "NO" towards "you haven't adequately defended your decision, so you must change your mind."
Click to expand...

This is good advice. Excuses like "I don't have any money" or "I'm too busy" will result in a lengthy conversation and/or him coming back to you time and time again to see if you're still broke and busy. Tell him NO firmly and politely and don't back down.

Also, be prepared for him to ask for a much smaller amount of help (like $5 instead of $100, if money's what he's after) and still say NO to any request, no matter how small.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top