How to Please Your IT Department

[techs]

Maybe a repost, but new to me:

How to Please Your IT Department

01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

02. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

03. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

04. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

05. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

06. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

07. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

08. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

09. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

10. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

11. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

12. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

13. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

14. Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

15. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

 

[Soundmanred]

You work for me, not the other way around.

 

[her209]

You work for me, not the other way around.

Wrong.

 

[SR1729]

Wrong.

No, he's right. I've worked in IT/IS for over a decade. When I'm writing software for internal use (or back in the day when I was a cable jockey), my customers are the department(s) that will use it. In that sense, I clearly work for them.

Of course, this chain email was being circulated 10 years ago, so meh.

 

[AreaCode707]

You work for me, not the other way around.

Nope, we're usually peers working for the same company. IT deserves the respect and cooperation you would give any other co-worker. Plus, being cooperative usually will get things fixed for you much faster than otherwise.

 

[OCGuy]

Maybe if whatever helpdesk IT monkey spent less time writing spam emails like that one, and more time helping the employees in his company, he would get more respect.

 

[Anubis]

http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/

 

[Soundmanred]

No, he's right. I've worked in IT/IS for over a decade. When I'm writing software for internal use (or back in the day when I was a cable jockey), my customers are the department(s) that will use it. In that sense, I clearly work for them.

Yup, I used to do IT work as well until I got out of it for something that paid alot better and had to deal with less BS.
It's part of the job, if you don't like it, do what I did and find another line of work where you won't rage passive/aggressively on people every day.
Normal people don't know much about computers, it's your job to, that's what you get paid for. If they knew what you knew, you would have a job.
I met so many whiny IT people over the years, but computers was all they knew and they were antisocial dorks, so they couldn't handle another job. Sad, really.

 

[imagoon]

Maybe if whatever helpdesk IT monkey spent less time writing spam emails like that one, and more time helping the employees in his company, he would get more respect.

Prob has the time to do it because the request to replace your decade old computer has been denied yet again because it is "to expensive." That and it is easy to ignore the CRITICAL phone calls because Joyce over in accounting can't seem to install Banzai Buddy. Mean while the guy the next cube over is for the 17th time this year, opening an obvious virus email. Everyone *needs* admin rights because it is *their* computer and they want to install iTunes on it and stream HD video over the 128k internet line that the boss won't upgrade also because it "costs to much."

Hiding in the office becomes safer because out on the floor is like walking around naked in a group of wolves with a steak tied on with bacon on your junk.

 

[Ronstang]

Nope, we're usually peers working for the same company. IT deserves the respect and cooperation you would give any other co-worker. Plus, being cooperative usually will get things fixed for you much faster than otherwise.

IT is a service center, and thus a cost center, that supports the profit centers of the company. You work for them. That does not mean they should not treat you with respect but most other departments are higher on the food chain.

 

[coldmeat]

Strange. I would have thought all of those things would make the IT department angry.

 

[BlahBlahYouToo]

Nope, we're usually peers working for the same company. IT deserves the respect and cooperation you would give any other co-worker. Plus, being cooperative usually will get things fixed for you much faster than otherwise.

leave it to an HR person to settle this.

 

[SR1729]

Yup, I used to do IT work as well until I got out of it for something that paid alot better and had to deal with less BS.
It's part of the job, if you don't like it, do what I did and find another line of work where you won't rage passive/aggressively on people every day.
Normal people don't know much about computers, it's your job to, that's what you get paid for. If they knew what you knew, you would have a job.
I met so many whiny IT people over the years, but computers was all they knew and they were antisocial dorks, so they couldn't handle another job. Sad, really.

Just out of curiosity, what line of work are you in now?

 

[Numenorean]

IT is a service center, and thus a cost center, that supports the profit centers of the company. You work for them. That does not mean they should not treat you with respect but most other departments are higher on the food chain.

Depends on where you work and what level of IT you are.

I was basically a step below a VP. I also designed software which increased profits so it doesn't always work like your black and white description.

 

[Leros]

IT is a service center, and thus a cost center, that supports the profit centers of the company. You work for them. That does not mean they should not treat you with respect but most other departments are higher on the food chain.

While that may be true, treating them with the respect of a coworker or peer does nothing but make the work environment a nicer place.

 

[Slapstick]

Nope, we're usually peers working for the same company. IT deserves the respect and cooperation you would give any other co-worker. Plus, being cooperative usually will get things fixed for you much faster than otherwise.

Actually where I work it's just quicker to fix it yourself. 😀

 

[Wyndru]

http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/

😀 Those vids are the best

 

[0roo0roo]

Maybe if whatever helpdesk IT monkey spent less time writing spam emails like that one, and more time helping the employees in his company, he would get more respect.

Actually it doesn't work that way, if everythings working with the plumbing you don't think of the plumber, you don't think about it at all.

 

[AreaCode707]

IT is a service center, and thus a cost center, that supports the profit centers of the company. You work for them. That does not mean they should not treat you with respect but most other departments are higher on the food chain.

Every department in a company is a customer to other departments at one time or another. IT may be working for you in finance when your computer breaks but you're working for them during budgeting periods. There isn't a "food chain", just a circle of mutual collaboration that helps the entire company remain functional. Sales may think they're more important than IT because the company couldn't run without them, but without someone managing SalesForce, they would be as dead in the water as IT would be if the Sales team up and quit.

Thinking about work as a food chain where someone is higher or lower based on the department they're in simply facilitates poor behavior between teams.

 

[eldorado99]

Every department in a company is a customer to other departments at one time or another. IT may be working for you in finance when your computer breaks but you're working for them during budgeting periods. There isn't a "food chain", just a circle of mutual collaboration that helps the entire company remain functional. Sales may think they're more important than IT because the company couldn't run without them, but without someone managing SalesForce, they would be as dead in the water as IT would be if the Sales team up and quit.

Thinking about work as a food chain where someone is higher or lower based on the department they're in simply facilitates poor behavior between teams.

Well put...

 

[RbSX]

My biggest pet peeve is the person/people that call over and over again about the same kind of issues.

But when we go to fix it (over and over again) they don't bother to pay attention to how we do it. We love fixing the same shit over and over again, and getting shit from people when we start to lose our temper because we've done something for the thousandth time.

 

[F1N3ST]

Lols, I see.

 

[ultimatebob]

While that may be true, treating them with the respect of a coworker or peer does nothing but make the work environment a nicer place.

That doesn't work at all where I work... most of the IT guys sit around with their thumbs up their asses and ignore my requests until I escalate them to their manager's manager. I've given up being nice, it doesn't help.

 

[Gothgar]

add another one

*Post and/or forward emails that are years old

 

[KMFJD]

03. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

Always a favorite...especially when the client get's upset that you didn't stick around waiting for him.