How to Fix America! - Sell Alaska to China

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PJABBER

Diamond Member
Feb 8, 2001
4,822
0
0
I was well into my second pitcher and having a capital time at the local haunt when I caught the spark in her eye, at the other end of the main room.

"Second pitcher," you ask? Of course! There's no way in hell I'm subsidizing these sub $100k per year salary, do-nothing liberal louts I hang out with! Let them buy their own pitchers!

My dear man, one does not first have a pitcher, much less two, before indulging in an '86 Petrus. I do hope you tipped the maid, though for some reason it seems beyond you to do so.

Protocol does call for a shout all around, lest you be branded a lout. But one can understand a general reluctance to share when one is not inclined to being invited.

Myself, I prefer the '98 Petrus Pomerol Red Blend, now approaching its peak. For six figure days, why not, if more are to come?

It's a dog's world.
 
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fallout man

Golden Member
Nov 20, 2007
1,787
0
0
My dear man, one does not first have a pitcher, much less two, before indulging in an '86 Petrus. I do hope you tipped the maid, though for some reason it seems beyond you to do so.

Protocol does call for a shout all around, lest you be branded a lout. But one can understand a general reluctance to share when one is not inclined to being invited.

Myself, I prefer the '98 Petrus Pomerol Red Blend, now approaching its peak. For six figure days, why not, if more are to come?

It's a dog's world.

As described in my story, I tipped the maid alright. ;) This way, and that way--even the Lord's way, though I don't care for the missionary position (it's so parochial).

With regard to the Petrus--I'm not that worried about dulled senses. I consider it a mouth-rinse. Wine is for broads, anyway. I'm more a 16 year Lagavulin kind of fellow. It may be far more inexpensive and much more intoxicating, but you can't ignore the experience of a sip that is akin to being buried alive with a guinea shoving a shovel-full of peat down your throat--dangerous and delicious!

I can't speak for the '98 Petrus today. It was fine when I sampled it ~6 years ago, but I'm sure that it has improved.
 

rudder

Lifer
Nov 9, 2000
19,441
85
91
But then it would cost us another trillion dollars to change all our flags, banners, paint jobs ect to just 49 stars. You guys didn't have enough to drink while thinking on this.

Make Mexico a state.... problem solved.
 

Robor

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
16,979
0
76
I was well into my second pitcher and having a capital time at the local haunt when I caught the spark in her eye, at the other end of the main room.

"Second pitcher," you ask? Of course! There's no way in hell I'm subsidizing these sub $100k per year salary, do-nothing liberal louts I hang out with! Let them buy their own pitchers!

When our eyes made contact, I immediately knew what had to be done.

"My good man," I motioned to the bartender, "let's get a taste of that '86 Petrus." The Irishman nodded, hurriedly and obediently making his way past the others behind the counter on his way down to the cellar. God, I love waving money around.

The moment of truth was near, so I took a moment of quiet-before-the-storm to make sure that my shirt collar was appropriately popped. I checked my appearance in the mirror--the handsome reflection didn't look that ridiculous, especially not in contrast with my very expensive Italian custom-tailored suit.

The Irishman was back. I swirled the deep, dark red fluid caressing the inside of the glass. The aroma was intoxicating. It was time to make things happen.

"Say," I whispered in her ear, "I made six figures in the commodities market this afternoon. I'd like to celebrate by inviting you to be my dirty whore tonight." Her eyes briefly widened, but I could already smell her excitement. She took the glass from my hand and brought it close to her remarkable lips, which were delightfully framed by her well-defined, yet soft and uniquely European jawline.

She smiled as I patiently waited for her to inhale the fruit of my expertly-chosen $450 dollar per glass offering. That smile widened ever so slightly--the wheels were set in motion on their way to the inevitable.

The evening ended splendidly. Some black caviar and another couple of bottles of wine were enjoyed back in my luxurious condominium, which is located in a well-to-do part of the city. We had vaginal and anal sex, and I subsequently paged my driver to drive her home.

As I sat in one of my many, very expensive, designer chairs and reflected upon the evening--the trivial expenditures, the nasty, sweaty anal and vaginal intercourse with a woman more adventurous and stunning than what most men could ever imagine--I was reminded that I have not yet commented on this thread.

Dog%20Tux%20with%20Tails%20and%20Top%20Hat.JPG

That was classic! :awe:
 

Fenixgoon

Lifer
Jun 30, 2003
31,493
9,824
136
all i'll say is selling alaska to china is one of the most retarded ideas i've ever seen on ATPN. and that's saying something.
 

FlashG

Platinum Member
Dec 23, 1999
2,712
2
0
Give back the Lousiana purchase Territories creating an anti-manifest destiny movement. Throw in Texas as well.
Take the beads back from the indians and send the Puritans back to the old world. Let the rest fend for themselves. Yea thats the ticket.
 

Mani

Diamond Member
Aug 9, 2001
4,808
1
0
Sounds like a good idea if they have to take Palin in the deal.
 

Hacp

Lifer
Jun 8, 2005
13,923
2
81
Sitting around a Pretty Big Table at Bullfeathers on Capitol Hill, we were well into a fourth pitcher of Sam Adams when the topic turned to the national debt. As it often does when we decide to discuss fiscal policy, we started calling out our favorite solutions to the Obama Administration's profligate spending hell bent on driving the nation into insolvency.

The local barfly on loan from the London School of Economics threw out the idea that we should do an asset sale.

Gold, mineral rights, what would work?

By consensus and by acclaim, we decided on a course of action that would eliminate the debt burden heretofore destined to destroy the country.

Under the influence of Stoli chasers, we recommend the sale of Alaska to the Chinese in the amount of the current debt owed.

More soberly, I sought to reference a third party source of discussion - we can't have been the first to think of this solution. Why not one of the blogs at The Motley Fool, a paragon of investment considerations?

**********************************************

http://caps.fool.com/Blogs/ViewPost.aspx?bpid=302070&t=01006075034533164603

The Motley Fool
http://www.fool.com

TickRTapeKing channels Thomas Jefferson and proposes several approaches to change our economic fate in the United States. "We appear destined for larger crises in the future from historic debt levels, a loss of confidence in our institutions and leaders, negative changes to spending patterns, and out of control money printing by the Federal Reserve bank and Treasury Department."

Sell Alaska to China

China needs natural resources - Alaska has them. After Seward’s Folly purchase of Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million in 1867, exchanging this lightly populated, cold, far away land to China in exchange for the roughly $2 trillion in federal Treasury debt owned, would be a win, win for both sides. [Heck, even Sarah Palin ran when she had the chance.] I cannot dream up another legitimate way to cover the money we owe China. Alaska has lumber, a large fishing industry, huge metal and oil reserves and production, basically all needed ingredients for China’s economic growth aspirations. They have already purchased chunks of Africa in an effort to secure the raw materials to fuel expansion. [I thought about throwing Hawaii in the mix; it may be closer to China. However, Hawaii doesn’t hold the valuable and vast natural resources of Alaska, or a revenue stream big enough from pineapples and tourism to get close to the $2 trillion price tag we require. I am also partial to keeping Hawaii, as I honeymooned in Maui during the present lifetime.]

Perhaps selling Alaska (which is almost entirely federal and state owned land) is a little drastic; we could use it as tangible collateral instead for China, in case we cannot or do not wish to pay them back in gold-based Dollar bills in the future. While this may sound far fetched and off the wall, consider the alternatives. In 2009, China now owns a greater sum of U.S. assets than any country has owned of another, in all of human history! Most Americans do not yet realize our foreign debt size, but many of us send our first week or two of taxed income to the federal government each year to pay for the “interest” on the debt we already owe China, and the situation gets worse each year. Basically, we are starting to work for them! Trade wars with China appear all but inevitable as friction mounts over the direction of short-term monetary/Dollar value policies, rising rates of credit creation in the U.S., unmanageable deficit spending inherent in U.S.’s current economic course, and the near universal odds of high inflation rates destroying the purchasing power of China’s bond investments the next 5-10 years. In fact, it is not hard to imagine an actual military conflict between the U.S. and China to erupt in the next decade over related frustrations about the debt on both sides of the Pacific, if America does not change course drastically and support China’s investment here. If you were given a black and white choice of giving up Alaska now, or having your children (and perhaps tens of millions of Americans) perish in a military conflict over Taiwan or Japan in 5 years, which choice would an honest, practical individual make? [After we sell Alaska, we can finally allow Puerto Rico to become an official state also, as Florida is getting full of people. We could use their resort landscape for commercial development and build political bridges to the rest of our natural sphere of influence in the Caribbean region. Plus, we could all keep the existing American flags with 50 stars, instead of having China sew new ones with 49!] Congress can work on the details, like how we repatriate Alaskans back home to the contiguous states, and properly appraise their private property sold to China!

That would be stupid. Do you have any idea how much oil/minerals/natural resources are in Alaska? If we mined it all out, we'd have paid off our national debt many times over.
 

PJABBER

Diamond Member
Feb 8, 2001
4,822
0
0
That would be stupid. Do you have any idea how much oil/minerals/natural resources are in Alaska? If we mined it all out, we'd have paid off our national debt many times over.

Drill, baby, drill!

...Oh, so sorry. That was the Republicans.

And they aren't in power.

Yet.