How to decode Republican speech

[Spamela]

a new book, Dictionary of Republicanisms, is now available, see here.
with some excerpts here.

among some of my favorites are:

class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.

climate change n. The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans

DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie

honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march"

laziness n. When the poor are not working

leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working

liberal(s) n. Followers of the Antichrist

9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy, especially if unrelated

staying the course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result

voter fraud n. A significant minority turnout

 

[Jhhnn]

My personal fave-

"abstinence-only sex education n. Ignorance-only sex education "

 

[Meuge]

pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth

^ This one beats all.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Haha... Some of those are easily adaptable

voter fraud n. A significant minority turnout

voter fraud n. What the Democrats cry when they lose

9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy, especially if unrelated

See also: "For the children." A phrase used by democrats to achieve similarly bad policy goals

class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage

Dem: Any attempt to reduce taxes

honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march"

See also: "No controling legal authority"

 

[zendari]

Originally posted by: Meuge
pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth

^ This one beats all.

Pro-choice adj. Disagreeing with school voucher choice, health care choice, business selfregulation choice, and freemarket choice.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: zendari

Originally posted by: Meuge
pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth

^ This one beats all.

Pro-choice adj. Disagreeing with school voucher choice, health care choice, business selfregulation choice, and freemarket choice.

Actually that should read: The belief that the life of a mass murder is more valuable than an unborn child.

 

[Strk]

There's two people with no sense of humor.

These two make me laugh though, especially since one of them is universal:

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million [Adam Hochschild, San Francisco, Calif.].
alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil [Peter Scholz, Fort Collins, Colo.].

 

[Meuge]

Originally posted by: zendari

Originally posted by: Meuge
pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth

^ This one beats all.

...business selfregulation choice, and freemarket choice...

I'll just address these last 2, because the total ignorance of that statement is far too great for me to bear alone.

Fact: Laissez-faire economy is self-destructive. Moderate government regulation, such as anti-trust laws, as well as minimum-wage laws, have had a tremendous positive effect on economy.

^ That is a fact. There isn't a single sane economist in the world who'd disagree with it.

Yet you do. Well, I don't know how you make your money, but I sincerely doubt that stocks are the source. If you have a supervisor/boss, or more likely several levels of them above you, I would love to see how haughty you'd have been in the late 19th/early 20th centuries.

 

[BBond]

Originally posted by: zendari

Originally posted by: Meuge
pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth

^ This one beats all.

Pro-choice adj. Disagreeing with school voucher choice, health care choice, business selfregulation choice, and freemarket choice.

School voucher choice; Republican plan to destroy public education in America.

Health care choice; Republican plan to funnel billions of dollars to their contributors in the big pharma industry.

Business self deregulation choice; Repulican plan to off-shore profits and jobs and turn America into a third-world backwater in the process (but hey, look on the bright side, they'll be plenty of poor kids thankful for a chance to get a wonderful job in the military protecting U.S. corporate interests worldwide.)

Freemarket choice; See Business self deregulation choice.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: Strk
There's two people with no sense of humor.

These two make me laugh though, especially since one of them is universal:

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million [Adam Hochschild, San Francisco, Calif.].
alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil [Peter Scholz, Fort Collins, Colo.].

Meh... I thought my response was in good humor. Maybe you should check your humor meter to make sure it's working properly?

 

[Spamela]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy

Originally posted by: Strk
There's two people with no sense of humor.

These two make me laugh though, especially since one of them is universal:

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million [Adam Hochschild, San Francisco, Calif.].
alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil [Peter Scholz, Fort Collins, Colo.].

Meh... I thought my response was in good humor. Maybe you should check your humor meter to make sure it's working properly?

i thought it was pretty good, mostly - more satire than enmity

 

[Rainsford]

Looks like fun...

Elitists: Liberals who think they are better than conservatives. Californians who think they are better than Oklahoma residents.
Middle Americans: Conservatives who think they are better than liberals. Oklahoma residents who think they are better than Californians.

Hating America: The act of disagreeing with current political leadership. Also see, being in the majority.

Family: A media friendly alternative to "extremist wackjobs", suitable for organization titles.

Theory: Something a bunch of religion hating "scientists" make up after staying up all night drinking.

Judicial Activism: Judges doing their job.

Mandate: Historically small margin of victory.

Bush County: Caption for maps suitable for individuals with no understanding of the concept of population density.

 

[Todd33]

Originally posted by: zendari

Originally posted by: Meuge
pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth

^ This one beats all.

Pro-choice adj. Disagreeing with school voucher choice, health care choice, business selfregulation choice, and freemarket choice.

Choice - what rich people have.

 

[Lemon law]

We forgot its not about the oil in Iraq.

Or that the Bush administration is welfare for the Rich.

But the biggest wopper is compassionate conservative.
Should be incompetent idiot and be done with it.