How to deal with Death

[Someguy008]

Recently my friend just told me that her father has just passed away. She kind of disappeared for a while and I knew her dad were having complications, but just that her father has been through it before, so I didn't think much of it. I always had a hard time dealing with death, I never know what to say, what to do, anything... I really want to be there for her at this time of need, she has always been there when I needed someone. Death has always somewhat stunt me, and it takes me a while to finally accept that someone's gone forever. I don't want to say anything that might hurt her, so I'm afraid to do or say anything. Can you guys give me a little advice on what to say or do, to let a friend know that I'm there for her? Thanks...

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Go visit her and listen. Don't try to tell her it will get better, or that 'he went to a better place', nor stay away. She needs a shoulder to cry on, but she doesn't need to be educated in what to feel or think. Just be there to listen.

 

[labrat25]

Skyclad1uhm1 is right, don't try and fix things, just be there for her... to help to listen

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: labrat25
Skyclad1uhm1 is right, don't try and fix things, just be there for her... to help to listen

Agreed, that's all that can be done. They have to cope, but having someone there to show support (especially when it sounds like you're great friends) is the best you can do for her. Go hang out but you don't have to necessarily make it a "fun" time... just get her away from just sitting there and thinking about her dad the whole time. There's a fine line you need to balance on.

 

[MystikMango]

People grieve in thier own ways. I agree with everything said above. Just hang with her, even if all you do is sit there like a bump on a log.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
Go visit her and listen. Don't try to tell her it will get better, or that 'he went to a better place', nor stay away. She needs a shoulder to cry on, but she doesn't need to be educated in what to feel or think. Just be there to listen.

Yup. Very good advice.

 

[Electric Amish]

Tell her to stop being such a baby.

 

[badmouse]

It's also a good idea to talk about what you remember about her father. Even if you never met him, she's probably talked about him. It reminds her in a subtle way that even though he's not here any more, he's not forgotten and that he left a mark.