How to deal with a mentally handicapped person?

[FallenHero]

Talk with your sister and his family briefly first. See what level of understanding the guy is at. If he functions at a 4th grade intellect, I'd say talking to him like a child is warranted. If he fully comprehends right and wrong, but it just takes him longer to understand things, talk to him normally, just expect to repeat yourself more often.

 

[IEC]

I know many "handicapped" people who are perfectly capable of carrying on basic conversations. Just ask your sister about his aptitude/ability level and you will be able to adjust appropriately.

 

[Bill Brasky]

Originally posted by: MagnusTheBrewer
There are many levels of being mentally handicapped. Sounds like you are uncomfortable dealing with a handicapped person. All but the most severely affected know they are not like other people. Treat them as you would anyone else.

This. I have a sister with down syndrome, and she hate's it that people talk to her differently. She isn't very good at expressing herself, but she understands everything going on around her.

 

[CrazyHelloDeli]

Retards love M&Ms.

Leave a trail of M&Ms leading from the front door to the back and then outside. Once he has taken the bait, quickly shut the door and draw the blinds so he can't see you. Soon, he will fall asleep on the back porch and be cooing like a baby. Problem solved.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Rufus12

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Your sister is marrying a person who is "mentally handicapped?"

What is she, retarded? 😀

LOL...if you mean she's marrying someone who has a "mentally handicapped" brother, that does NOT make him your brother-in-law...it's HER brother-in-law...no actual relation to you, in spite of what many people believe.

BTW, that stuff runs in the family...your nephews and nieces could be "short-bus special" too...😛

This, but the fact remains that I'm gonna be seeing him and interacting with him a lot in the coming years.

Nah. You'll only be seeing him a lot during the wedding weekend. Probably won't be exposed to him much after that.

Anyway, you should feel comfortable asking your sister, or even your soon-to-be brother-in-law (her husband) how to deal with it.

 

[sandorski]

Really depends. Observe how the rest of the family talks/acts with him and take it from there. Not that they may be doing it right or best, but that's what he'lll be used to.

 

[hiromizu]

When you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I advise that your sister reconsiders her marriage as she will be bringing unnecessary and unwanted burden on to you. Just my .02.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
When you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I advise that your sister reconsiders her marriage as she will be bringing unnecessary and unwanted burden on to you. Just my .02.

Wow, that's pretty harsh. He doesn't have to wipe the guy's ass. Hopefully.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: randay
talk really really fast and use big words and when he cant understand you ask him "WTF are you retarded or something?" and then when he says yes you say "ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" for like 5 minutes.

Damn I laughed at this. I'm going to hell.

 

[Gunslinger08]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
When you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I advise that your sister reconsiders her marriage as she will be bringing unnecessary and unwanted burden on to you. Just my .02.

Wow, asshole much?

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante

Originally posted by: hiromizu
When you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I advise that your sister reconsiders her marriage as she will be bringing unnecessary and unwanted burden on to you. Just my .02.

Wow, that's pretty harsh. He doesn't have to wipe the guy's ass. Hopefully.

He's sorta right though. I know I've been roped into my wifes family problems. He might be asked to babysit him or take him out to sports games etc. Dunno, depends on the family and how handicapped he is.

 

[sonambulo]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
When you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I advise that your sister reconsiders her marriage as she will be bringing unnecessary and unwanted burden on to you. Just my .02.

lulz. I think he can deal with wiping up tard drool for 15 minutes at three barbecues a year.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
When you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I advise that your sister reconsiders her marriage as she will be bringing unnecessary and unwanted burden on to you. Just my .02.

lol

 

[randay]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante

Originally posted by: hiromizu
When you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I advise that your sister reconsiders her marriage as she will be bringing unnecessary and unwanted burden on to you. Just my .02.

Wow, that's pretty harsh. He doesn't have to wipe the guy's ass. Hopefully.

He's sorta right though. I know I've been roped into my wifes family problems. He might be asked to babysit him or take him out to sports games etc. Dunno, depends on the family and how handicapped he is.

its not any different then being roped into doing any number of other more everyday things for extended family members.

 

[hiromizu]

Originally posted by: sonambulo

Originally posted by: hiromizu
When you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I advise that your sister reconsiders her marriage as she will be bringing unnecessary and unwanted burden on to you. Just my .02.

lulz. I think he can deal with wiping up tard drool for 15 minutes at three barbecues a year.

Well it's not that simple and I'm speaking from experience. Once you help someone, you have automatically painted an expectation that you can and will help at other times and it will only build up. If you don't meet the expectations, you are labeled as an unhelpful asshole of a relative which will incredibly sour a relationship across the two families. Sucks but it's true.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Rufus12
My sister just got engaged, so I'm going to be getting some new relatives that I'm probably gonna be around a lot in the short term. My soon to be brother in law is mentally handicapped, and I'm not really sure how I should act, or how to talk to him. Should I speak to him as a child? I'm really at a loss here, and I wanna be as polite as possible. Thanks in advance!

Maybe you could pick up the book, "Dealing with Retards for Dummies"

 

[sonambulo]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
Well it's not that simple and I'm speaking from experience. Once you help someone, you have automatically painted an expectation that you can and will help at other times and it will only build up. If you don't meet the expectations, you are labeled as an unhelpful asshole of a relative which will incredibly sour a relationship across the two families. Sucks but it's true.

Uh, I really don't give a flying fuck what people think about me. I am a known son-of-a-bitch and as a result do not have these problems.

The OP is only going to see the handicapped relative at family get-togethers and will be able to draw the boundary there.

 

[Raduque]

Originally posted by: sonambulo
Avoid loud noises.

And fast movements.

 

[Wheezer]

When I hear "mentally handicapped"...I think of this episode of "Just Shoot Me"

Click

 

[Modelworks]

My sister is mentally retarded. She is 40 now and on the level mentally of about a 12 year old.
You treat him just like you would anyone else. Their mental level may be lower but that doesn't mean you have to be scared or cautious or act like they are someone you have to be careful what you say around. They may have a lower IQ but you may find they have much more to offer in other areas. My sister for instance cannot see bad in anyone, she always sees the good. Someone can yell at her and while she may cry from the experience, if you ask her an hour later about the person, she will say something like "Thats ok, she just cares a lot" . And when she says that she isn't saying it to just blow off the experience, she really means it.

The big thing to remember is they do not want to be treated any differently than anyone else, that to them is the worst insult.

 

[sonambulo]

Originally posted by: Modelworks
My sister is mentally retarded. She is 40 now and on the level mentally of about a 12 year old.
You treat him just like you would anyone else. Their mental level may be lower but that doesn't mean you have to be scared or cautious or act like they are someone you have to be careful what you say around. They may have a lower IQ but you may find they have much more to offer in other areas. My sister for instance cannot see bad in anyone, she always sees the good. Someone can yell at her and while she may cry from the experience, if you ask her an hour later about the person, she will say something like "Thats ok, she just cares a lot" . And when she says that she isn't saying it to just blow off the experience, she really means it.

The big thing to remember is they do not want to be treated any differently than anyone else, that to them is the worst insult.

Thank you.

 

[BoomerD]

Just remember how we USED to treat these people...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1s8nRL2bPCU

 

[Sluggo]

I cant believe nobody recommended this little jewel of a clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoCZZlMzxBY

 

[randay]

Originally posted by: Modelworks
My sister is mentally retarded. She is 40 now and on the level mentally of about a 12 year old.
You treat him just like you would anyone else. Their mental level may be lower but that doesn't mean you have to be scared or cautious or act like they are someone you have to be careful what you say around. They may have a lower IQ but you may find they have much more to offer in other areas. My sister for instance cannot see bad in anyone, she always sees the good. Someone can yell at her and while she may cry from the experience, if you ask her an hour later about the person, she will say something like "Thats ok, she just cares a lot" . And when she says that she isn't saying it to just blow off the experience, she really means it.

The big thing to remember is they do not want to be treated any differently than anyone else, that to them is the worst insult.

pics?

 

[JM Aggie08]

candy and a taser